How to control temper while dealing with a 4yrs old...

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to control temper while dealing with a 4yrs old...

Postby lovetoshop » Fri May 07, 2010 12:02 am

Hello everyone! I am a newbie residing in Punggol :D I have 2 daughters, age 2 & 4 yo. Lately, my 4yo has been quite rebellious. Not sure if the problem lies with me for being too impatient, but I just have problem controlling my temper when she refuse to brush her teeth, bath or eat her dinner. I dun really spank her but I find myself raising my voice at her :stupid: can anyone out there offer any advice?

lovetoshop
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Postby kids_r_innocent » Fri May 07, 2010 12:06 am

Hi!

I agree that it can be exasperating when dealing with kids... lots and lots of patience is needed.

As for me, i will try to find out why my children are not co-operating first. Get her to speak her wants/needs. Try short reasoning or advance treats for them to get them to co-operate with u e.g. reading an extra storybk. :wink:

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Re: How to control temper while dealing with a 4yrs old...

Postby jedamum » Fri May 07, 2010 12:23 am

lovetoshop wrote:when she refuse to brush her teeth, bath or eat her dinner.

i showed ds2 pics of germs around the teeth (from some library books) during the stage when he refused to brush his teeth.
i spend a few min blowing bubbles during bathtime to make bathing interesting for ds2. when ds1 was younger and refused to bath, i took him to choose his own flavour of shower foam.
don't want to eat dinner? then have supper lor.

try to find out what's bothering them. keep your cool until your kid hits primary school years; there'll be lots of careless mistakes for you to :x by then. :wink:

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Postby pink_daisy » Tue May 11, 2010 9:19 am

hi lovetoshop mummy,

my 2 kids r oso 2 yrs apart except tat elder is boy n younger is a gal..

mayb u didnt realise tat u have spent abit more attention at your younger gal n the elder gal feels she has been neglected thus is now trying to catch your attention by doing all those acts?

try to have a casual talk with your elder gal or u may ask your hubby to talk to her, find out y she is behaving tis way.. she might open up to ur hubby instead of u?..

or is she attending some nursery class n something happened in school tat is causing her to behave tis way? mayb u can ask the teacher abt her behaviour in class?

i can understand your frustration having to cope with the kids n the housework..ive been thru tat oso.. hang in there!

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Postby eve74sg » Thu May 13, 2010 3:52 pm

I also have a 4 yr old girl at home who can get annoyed over little things. Sometimes when we refuse to give in to her, she will walk away and slam the door, or use her hand to beat people, or use whatever is in her hand to hit people.

There was once i saw her holding a penknife (cos my dd1 left it on her study table), though she was not angry at that time, i almost fainted when i saw her holding it. Cos any little thing can trigger her to use the knife! When I took it away from her, she was abit annoyed, but i managed to take it away from her. And i tell everyone off abt lying this dangerous weapon around!

I tried telling her to clench her fist if she is angry and cannot control herself. She tried, works for awhile sometimes...any other better methods?

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Postby auntieM » Thu May 13, 2010 4:10 pm

When my DS starts his tantrum, I will tell him to calm down and count to ten.. ..
I will tell him that I'm aware of his frustration but he needs to express himself 'properly'.. ..
Sometimes he will be yelling the numbers out, I will try to hold him, or his hand and wait for awhile till he settles..

Juz me 2 cents :wink:

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Re: How to control temper while dealing with a 4yrs old...

Postby mrswongtuition » Thu May 13, 2010 8:24 pm

lovetoshop wrote:Hello everyone! I am a newbie residing in Punggol :D I have 2 daughters, age 2 & 4 yo. Lately, my 4yo has been quite rebellious. Not sure if the problem lies with me for being too impatient, but I just have problem controlling my temper when she refuse to brush her teeth, bath or eat her dinner. I dun really spank her but I find myself raising my voice at her :stupid: can anyone out there offer any advice?


My boy's 3yo and we are residing in Punggol too!

He tries his luck all the time. In fact, he's doing it right now.
I do use the cane on him but it is after giving him 'cooling off' period.
I count to 5 to give him a chance to stop the action we do not approve of. 90% of the time, he will listen and run off by the count of 3.

On the rare occasions he decide to be stubborn, he will be asked to stand at the naughty corner, then caned.
My hubs usually does the caning. He will ask him what did he do to deserve the punishment & my boy will answer. Then my hubs will ask him which hand/leg was the naughty hand/leg (if he kicks someone or something, my hubs will cane his leg). Only 1 smack then my hubs will hug him & tell him why he shouldn't do it.

I know many parents don't agree with our method but it's the most effective so far. We've tried other methods but it does not work. He will know that there's no 'punishment' and will become worse.

What did your child do? Maybe you can give us examples?
Mine pulled a whole roll of toilet paper out, stuffed it into the toilet bowl and flush. It got clogged & my hubs had to clear up. :p

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Postby Okosbaba » Thu May 13, 2010 9:26 pm

I will be the first to admit that I am more impatient than DH, however my way of dealing with my almost three is if he throws a tantrum about not wanting to do something or wanting to do something we don’t want him to do.. is I do exactly as he does if he jumps up and down and screams I do the same, scares the living begeezus out of him to see his behavior on mummy…. Stops immediately and than I ask him to say it nicely which he usually does :pray: .. than since he is already calm we can just go on and list alternatives until we come to a consensus.. it works about 86.8% of the time.. the rest of the time its time out.. I have only smacked him once...
However, you have to be comfortable enough in yourself to start screaming like a 2 year old in the middle of Ikea.. people do tend to stare… 

Okosbaba
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Postby cnimed » Fri May 14, 2010 12:34 am

wah Okosbaba,

wo pai fu!! :udawoman:
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