How to turn kids be more sociable?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

how to correct an anti-social child?

Postby jkids » Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:56 pm

hi parents

my 2 kids seems rather shy and anti-social.

1st one is quiet and seldom talk in class, and i observe he seldoms interact in class. recently, juz heard from my teacher that the 2nd one doesnt interact much inclass, in fact, he would read lilbrary book.

whats' wrong? i am also quiet, so did they take over my genes? daily schooling dun count, we do bring them out once a week, but perhaps more as a family, not to socialize around.

is it too late to change them now? and what solution can u advise me?

jkids
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Postby kiddo » Sat Apr 10, 2010 12:18 pm

jkids :hi5:

been shy is just a temperament of the child, dont be too concern about it , are you a working mum or stay at home mum?

how old is your kids
boi or ger
what school they go to kinder, primary??

how is their behaviour at home
behviour in playground if they are still young
do they interact with other children outside shool often like cousin, neighbour- often?
what did they usually talk about when they are home about thing happening in school?

too many question hor :wrongmove: ......no lah just so other parents here know a little more and can give their experiences and comment :lol:

i have a 14 year old sec school boi ,, he is shy too .... :idea: :peekaboo: :duck:

kiddo
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Postby cnimed » Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:53 pm

I would not equate shy and quiet with anti-social. I think as long as the child knows how to interact when he wants to, knows the basic social rules and have a few friends, that's good enough.

As parents, of course we have to show them how to interact as well at playgrounds and other places. Do you greet other parents at these places, do you speak to other children and make small conversations with them? Do you show them some ice-breaking methods?

I also allow my son to bring friends home in order to pratice his social skills, as well as to reinforce ground rules.

If these have been done then perhaps the child just prefer more solitude and there's nothing wrong with that. It's only a problem if the child is afraid of entering a class of strangers, or find others hard to comprehend. In such cases, I do feel that parents will need to coach the child on these situations.
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How to turn kids be more sociable?

Postby mac_t13@hotmail.com » Sat May 22, 2010 7:44 pm

My girl just turn 3. She hardly wants to say "hi" or 'bye' to others likes classmates or their parents. Is that very common at this age? How to make her more inclined to associate with others? Today at her school sport day, one of her classmate wanted to shake hand with her, she just refused, and the boy so sad and cried. When I scolded her for being rude, she just not convince and liked steam puffing from an engine. Even neighbour she also behaviour the same. I can't tell whether she is shy or bossy because she is independent, well interact and vocal in school according to her teachers. She is a chatterbox at home. Or could it be she is lack of confident to talks with others. How to encourage her?

mac_t13@hotmail.com
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Postby kaydenbrown » Fri May 28, 2010 3:36 pm

My nephew used to be like that too when he was about 4 and I found out that it was because he was really shy and did not like to interact with others because he was afraid of offending others. More like a fear of looking bad and you are right, lacking confidence can be a reason.

What we did was to do it one step at a time. His parents and relatives had to coax him to open himself up more and it starts at home! Just interact with him/her more, including using touch like hugging, shaking hands etc...

And kids are 3 will hardly be bossy or aloof.

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Postby mumma_bear » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:49 pm

My DS is almost 3, but I'm surprised at how friendly he is. Smiling at anyone he likes, even if he isn't exposed to lots of kids close to his age. Although it's normal for kids this age to be bossy, he also tends to shy out at times, but mostly he's really outgoing...I think every kid has a different personality, she's sure to come out of her shell as soon as she's comfortable being with her classmates and friends. She'll learn, it's just a stage!

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Postby shirley.tamzil » Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:06 am

My DS1 used to be very introvert and shy when he is young. Refused to talk to anyone, go near anyone (even friends and families that we know very well and meet regularly). If DS1 sees his kindy classmates or teachers outside school, he will 'pretend' not knowing them and ignore them. :shock:

I remembered asking my sister (whom we sees very regularly) to pick him up from school when he was 4yo. He refused to leave the school with her, his teacher even doubted whether my sister is 'real auntie'! :stupid: My family members have even made a joke that they would strike 4D if anyone managed to get a hug or get to carry him. Initially I was quite worried and concern about him surviving in the primary school. :cry:
So I made extra effort to bring him out more often with friends/families/extended families, interact more with his teachers and classmates, be very active in school events/happenings, etc

Glad to say, now DS1 is already 9 (next year P4), he has improved alot on his social skills, especially when he started primary school. He has lots of friends that he plays with and talks to, a few friends that he interact with over phone/FB. :celebrate:

I think every child has their own personalities, have to give them more exposure and encouragement to open up and they will eventually do so when they matures...

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Postby kingster » Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:38 am

my son is also 3 this year. and whenever a kid or someone tries to play with him, he will run to us and stay away from the kid. not sure how to get him to play with them. he is soooooooooooooo reluctant in doing so... hope he gets better when he starts his nursery...

kingster
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Postby jkids » Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:17 pm

hi all

sorry for the late reply.

my kids are better after i sent them to child care centre few mths ago. they initially attended 1.5-3h lessons.

think letting them mix with diff age group helps as they see and play wif one another everyday. they used to not want to play at the public playground if there are other kids around, but now, they are fine to play at the playground wif others around.

jkids
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Postby kiasu_pig » Thu Dec 23, 2010 12:32 pm

DS1 is coming to 4 and has been attending preschool for 2 years (now in N1). DS1 always act so shy in front of me and my spouse when we went to pick or drop him at school. However, his teachers (more than 1) always told us that DS1 is very sociable in class, having made friends in other classes, from toddler class, to N2 and even K1 and K2. These kids knew him and always waved or greeting him whenever we went to drop or pick him up. So we are puzzled and don't know whether we should doubt the teachers' words or to trust our own observations? I guess, sometimes, kids are such shy in front of his own parents for fear of getting scolded ...
:celebrate:

Last week DS1's school had a graduation concert and he participated in two skits. We were very surprised that he was so active and was able to dance and run around to the music! And maintaining contact with the audience! And we realised that that's only when he didn't see us (we were in the audience and the lights were quite dim)

But still, like this morning, brought him to school, and he began his shy-shy pattern again. Haiz.

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