How to help a child who keeps losing things in school?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to help a child who keeps losing things in school?

Postby Breadandmuffins » Wed May 26, 2010 2:30 pm

Hi

My son just lost his eraser again! He is in P2 and had been losing things in school....erasers almost every week, pencils too, water bottles every other month, rulers, lunch boxes, his chess set, textbook (so far only once, phew ) etc. I have tried the hard way ie don't give him the eraser etc, but he will just borrow from friends if he needs it. Deducting from his pocket money does not work as he is not interested in buying things from the canteen. He brings food from home. I also find it hard not to replace the item cos' I want him to concentrate in class and not having a ruler (for example) when he needs to do his work . The more I replaced the item, the faster its gone........

He is always very upset with me when I scolded him for losing things and keep on saying its not his fault???? What should I do?

Breadandmuffins
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Losing things

Postby Pen88n » Wed May 26, 2010 2:39 pm

Breadandmuffins,

I have gone thru' the same stage as you, but over time, it gets lesser. I learnt from my frens that for small stationary items, do not take it too hard. Spend $5 (or may be less) a month stocking up stationaries can remove a lot of stress from the mother-son relationship and remove your frustration too. I know some pple will disagree and say that must teach kids to be responsible, etc. etc. However, over time, you will find that there are many disciplining we as parents should look into. If we were to do all "fights", the relationship will be very strained. That's why I would choose to "pick my fight" and concentrate on big issues.

Big items sometime let the kid feel the pain a little. Eg. if the kid lost his favourite watch, do not get him one for a while, or get him a cheap one if needed. And he will feel the pain when he lost his faourite item.

Hope this helps.

Pen88n
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losing things

Postby Breadandmuffins » Wed May 26, 2010 3:24 pm

Thanks for your advice. Agree that there are many other "issues" we have to deal with as they grow up and the need to maintain mother son relationship. My only worry is that this carelessness starts from "small things" and became a habit when he is older. My husband told him about the serious consequence if he loses his rifle in army and he was kinda taken aback!

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Postby Pen88n » Wed May 26, 2010 3:43 pm

I personally find that over time the numbers of lost items lessen. Also, for impt things, it is impt you emphasize to them the consequences of losing such things. They will take better care of these things then

Pen88n
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Re: How to help a child who keeps losing things in school?

Postby hquek » Wed May 26, 2010 4:17 pm

Breadandmuffins wrote:He is always very upset with me when I scolded him for losing things and keep on saying its not his fault???? What should I do?


Is there any reason why he keeps losing it? Is some bully taking it away from him?

For me, when I find that my pens keep disappearing in office, I tag them....somehow the loss mysteriously don't happen anymore. you may want to consider for stuff like rulers, pencils.

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Postby tamarind » Wed May 26, 2010 4:20 pm

When I was in P1, when I had something that I mother was afraid that I would lose, she used a string to tie the object to my school uniform :wink: It really worked.

One way is to tie the eraser to the pencil case, then tie the pencil case to the school bag :wink: The string will help to remind the child to be careful.

We should give the child more time to learn.

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Postby Pen88n » Wed May 26, 2010 4:25 pm

tamarind wrote:When I was in P1, when I had something that I mother was afraid that I would lose, she used a string to tie the object to my school uniform :wink: It really worked.

One way is to tie the eraser to the pencil case, then tie the pencil case to the school bag :wink:

We should give the child more time to learn.


If I see a child with lots of strings tied to his / her schoolbag, I will know that's Tamarind's kid. :lol: What happen if the strings got entangled? :shock: What happen if lost schoolbag? :!:

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Postby tamarind » Wed May 26, 2010 4:31 pm

Pen88n wrote:
tamarind wrote:When I was in P1, when I had something that I mother was afraid that I would lose, she used a string to tie the object to my school uniform :wink: It really worked.

One way is to tie the eraser to the pencil case, then tie the pencil case to the school bag :wink:

We should give the child more time to learn.


If I see a child with lots of strings tied to his / her schoolbag, I will know that's Tamarind's kid. :lol: What happen if the strings got entangled? :shock: What happen if lost schoolbag? :!:


I do not have to tie things for my girl lah. We should only tie things which are small and can be easily lost, not everything. If the child can even lose the school bag, then the next time parents should tie the school bag to the uniform.

My point is that kids may not learn from constant nagging and reminding, parents can think of more "solid" methods to help them :wink: It is up to the parents to decide whether the methods are feasible. Who knows, once the parents start to tie the objects, the child will be so embarassed he will learn to be more careful.

For example, my girl once lost her drawing block. That was because her school bag was too small and she had to carry her drawing block in her hands. I changed to a bigger school bag that can accommodate the drawing block, and she never lose it again.

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Postby cluelessmom » Wed May 26, 2010 10:24 pm

Stuff tat my dd has lost in school in jus tis 2 yrs:

4 water bottles
Badminton racket (found)
2 story books
Bag (found)
1 pair of school shoes
countless other small items

:scared:

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Postby Guest » Wed May 26, 2010 10:35 pm

Hi Bread&muffins,

It sounds to me that your P2 is not understanding responsibility yet. Perhaps start simple at home to get him to have some responsibilities and then flow it over to his responsibility for his belongings at school. If he understands the importance of that, all things may just fall into place nicely and you don't have to ache over every single item? Just my 2 cents worth.
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