Kid's Social Life : Can Schools Interfere?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

If you were a teacher and heard that your pupls are swearing on cyberspace, what would you do?

Ignore it
0
No votes
Inform the parents of pupils concerned
7
58%
Bring your pupils to the table and force them to change/delete offending posts
5
42%
 
Total votes : 12

Kid's Social Life : Can Schools Interfere?

Postby MOE Hater » Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:21 pm

Hi everyone

I was just wondering teachers are allowed to force students to edit their facebook account to their own will. Here's a following scenario which occured in my school and all my girlfriends were totally outraged over it.

We staggered back into class after a tiresome work out during PE. My Maths teacher was sitting there, her legs crossed and her lips pursed. The moment we were seated she exploded like a delayed action bomb. She said that it had come to her attention that many children use inappropriate words on facebook rampantly. She then called up the 2 most mischievous boys in class and gave them a severe tongue-lashing for using f**k and b*#@h rampantly on their accounts. Then she lashed out a another long, long lecture on how we were educated and civilised pupils and she was greatly disapointment in us for misbehaving in cyberspace etc. She threatened to report the matter to the discipline mistress and then seemed to have second thoughts. She announced that she would give us another chance before bringing us down to the computer lab and making everyone log onto facebook and delete comments which were inacceptable, including ones which had 'shit' in it. She personally went around and previewed everyone's account.

Everyone in my class felt it was unfair and outrageous. Their parents were perfectly fine with what they post and they felt the teacher had no right to control our accounts. I feel the same way. They are paid simply to teach us during school hours and have no right to control our social life. Don't get me the wrong way. I am not saying that if the teacher is notified, she should be mute and mind her own business. She could inform the parents and let them handle the rest. That is their duty as parents after all. That is all that she needs to do as far as her duty is concerned. Sometimes going the extra mile can backfire.

That's my opinion. I would like to know what you people think. Please reply to this post and cast your vote as well. Have a good day and God bless.

MOE Hater
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Re: Kid's Social Life : Can Schools Interfere?

Postby Sun_2010 » Thu Jun 03, 2010 5:42 pm

MOE Hater wrote:That's my opinion. I would like to know what you people think. Please reply to this post and cast your vote as well. Have a good day and God bless.


Haha , u know my opinion very well :P

But will still give it to you
A teacher's got to do what she's got to do.

There are two issues-
1st - Is it right to use swear words?
In today's world a swear word is no big deal. But is it right? Should you be using a word if you dont even know the ramifications of the word? And use it bcos it's a fad?

2nd point is - is the teacher right to interfere?
The group created did link to your class. And you have identified urselves as XXXX primary school students. So it does involve the school indirectly.

12 yr olds are inquisitive bright bunch of kids( yes kids) that are testing boundries, doing things they think make them grown up and have a " if you can do that then i can do one step more" attitude. They sometimes need to understand , just bcos everyoe does it , you dont do it. You have to "think" for yourself. And follow some decorum.

If only your teacher could have made you all ponder on ur act instead of just ...
But with 40 kids and PSLE looming, i dont think she has the time to ... :|

Sun_2010
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Postby mrswongtuition » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:47 pm

As a teacher, I do remind them not to use such words.
However, not to the extend of screaming at them or forcing them to change their comments.

If the comments are too offensive, e.g. Insult teacher or school staff or fellow schoolmate, I will notify the discipline master & let him deal with it.

We are not controlling your social lives. We just do not want you to get in trouble. I have a few students whose parents have gone to lodge police cases on FB comments about their kids before.

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Re: Kid's Social Life : Can Schools Interfere?

Postby ChiefKiasu » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:20 pm

MOE_Hater, you sound like a well-read and mature individual. I'm assuming you are in Secondary school, because you don't write like an ordinary Primary school child.

And because you are a mature enough to feel that you and your classmates should be accorded the rights of adults to privacy and freedom of expression, I shall treat you as an adult then.

The pre-requisite to freedom of speech is responsibility. You are free to speak as long as you will stand by what you say, accepting whatever consequences that might bring.

If you choose this freedom to express yourself in ways which you feel are appropriate to yourself, you are certainly welcome to that behavior. It is your freedom, afterall, and you are responsible only to yourself.

However, if in the course of your expressing yourself freely, you associate yourself to an organisation, be it a school or a company, then you are effectively representing that organisation and whatever you say or do will be seen as coming from the organisation. You will no longer be responsible just to yourself, but also for the school. In such a case, the organisation has every right to come after you, either to disassociate itself from you (ie. dismiss or expel you), or to get you to correct and project the public image that it wants to cultivate.

It has nothing to do with what your parents think about your behavior and actions. It has everything to do with you tarnishing the school's image.

So, if you think you want to have the complete freedom to say what you want on the Internet or elsewhere, do it, but do not infringe on anyone else's freedom to protect their own image.

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Postby mintcc » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:37 pm

quite frankly, I feel respect for your teacher after reading your post. She could have taken the easy way out to just inform your parents or let the discipline mistress handle a tough situation.

Instead she make you people correct the wrong. I don't see it as the teacher controlling your accounts. You guys have a choice. She gave you a last chance to correct it or report the matter to the discipline mistress. Guess you guys don't want the discipline mistress to know either. :P

I think she did the right thing as an educator. Hopefully, if my son is in a similar situation, he will meet a teacher who will go that extra mile as well.

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Postby schweppes » Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:15 pm

mintcc wrote:quite frankly, I feel respect for your teacher after reading your post.


I fully agree. I :salute: the teacher for going the extra mile in lecturing the students.

mintcc wrote:She could have taken the easy way out to just inform your parents or let the discipline mistress handle a tough situation.


MOE Hater wrote:She personally went around and previewed everyone's account.



Personally, she could have taken the easier way out by ignoring what the students did and not do anything at all :roll: But she didn't and I respect her for that.

As an educator teaching in institutions of higher learning, I have come across some students who seem to have forgotten their place and think nothing of swearing in class. When I reprimand them and tell them that it is not good to swear, some would give me a defiant stare. The more remorseful students will apologise.

When youths use inappropriate words and actions all the time, they become desensitized to the word/action and after a while, they think that words like f**k and b***h becomes a "socially" acceptable norm, when it is clearly not acceptable. It is as if they use these words so often that the words bear little meaning to them. So, if this bad habit is not corrected when young, they carry it with them to young adulthood.

MOE Hater wrote:Everyone in my class felt it was unfair and outrageous. Their parents were perfectly fine with what they post and they felt the teacher had no right to control our accounts.


Hmmm...really? I am not sure if the parents are "perfectly fine" with such language as opposed to that they are not aware that such offensive language is being used by their children.

MOE Hater wrote:They are paid simply to teach us during school hours and have no right to control our social life.


How I wish this is true. Life would be so much easier for teachers if we just work and "teach during school hours". There'll be no reports of overworked teachers then. The good teacher doesn't just teach during school hours. The better teacher does all that and more. And the great teacher makes all the positive difference.

:celebrate:

schweppes
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Postby mrswongtuition » Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:31 pm

Reading MOE_Hater's comments and fellow parent's comments, reminds me of how hard it is to be a teacher.

On one hand, we also want to be the children's 'friend', someone they can open up to when they need help.

On the other hand, we want to discipline them to prevent them from going the wrong way.

And, we are still answerable to parents!

How?
Be fierce and scream out heads off?
Be nice and pretend we know nothing?

Different schools have different approaches and the school I'm with now encouraged teachers to remind students gently first. Encourage them to stop. If they are not remorseful or apologetic, then refer to Discipline Master who will sit with them to counsel them. We are not encouraged to use 'curriculum time' to reprimand students as many parents have complained that we 'only scold and not teach'.

Discipline Master is not like our time, holding cane and waiting to use it. Now, they hold care & concern and want to help the child learn through reasoning, 'modern discipline'.


MOE_hater, based on your post, I gather that the anger was further fuelled by the fact that the class just came back from a tired session during PE. When I'm tired, I get very touchy & will be pissed by the slightest thing, quite normal.
When I was your age, I hated my teachers too. I felt oppressed by their 'old thinking'. That's why I vowed to be a 'modern teacher'.
Don't think about this issue first. Have a great rest first. Rest well, then cool down, revisit this issue again when you are calm.

I always tell my students that vulgarities are not meant to be abused. If you are really angry, go get a piece of paper to cut up or go take a cold shower to cool down. Don't type, write or say anything in anger because it will make you look very ugly. Some of them grew up in an environment where vulgarities punctuate every sentence but they managed to change.

I went through a similar phase and my dad got me to write down all the vulgarities on a piece of paper and cut it up. It felt good & when I calmed down, I was able to think clearly and tried not to use vulgarities anymore.
It's part of growing up. If you are wise enough to come here to gather responses, you are wise enough to know what's wrong and right. Do the right thing make yourself proud of your own actions.


Parents, while you appreciate the teacher being concerned (so rare to see parents openly appreciating teachers!), maybe you can also post some suggestions on how you would want the teachers to educate your kids? Then fellow educators also have good idea on how to 'adjust our methods' :)

mrswongtuition
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Postby MOE Hater » Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:36 am

When I read all these replies, I can most of you feel what the teacher did is right as it shows she really cares for us and that is a point - a VERY GOOD one.

Firstly, I was not in my best form when i started this topic, but now with a renewed mindset i want to look at things from a different angle.

I think first and foremost i have to straighten out some facts. I specificly mentioned that she reprimand the 2 boys for use the words f**k and b***h rampantly. It was brought up on every sentenced they typed and every comment they posted. on that even i feel they deserved to be reprimanded for such disgusting behaviour. however others did use it but like once in a blue moon and at times when they were mad or referring to popular songs with that word in the title, i mean come on there are many songs like that these days. For example, a friend of mine put her status as big booty b***hes and you should have seen the teacher's reaction. if the words are scarsely mentioned and when they were used they were not targeted to hurt a specific person then i think teachers should loosen up and give us a little freedom.

I also think that teachers should not be so uptight about us using shit. Even the most civilised people use from time to time. Dammit was the word of the teachers time and shit is no worse. its shorter and actually saves energy :lol: social networking sites are places we tend to vent our feelings and as long it is not offending what is wrong in that? (After all, in P6 you feel the heat)

I guess i have given enough food for thought. Look forward to reading more replies.

P.S. I mentioned that my classmates were outraged not me. I hate social networking sites and find it a bore so i don't have facebook. this teacher i am talking about is a really nice, friendly and caring techaer and she has taught me since P5. i do have a lot of respect for her but i don't know whether what she did is acceptable. she can be unreasonable at times

P.P.S. At least com lab was air conditioned. heavenly after P.E. :lol:

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Postby hquek » Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:13 am

Coming from a parent with young kids, I feel I cannot stop my kids from being exposed to, or using swear words. But I would encourage them to think seriously the difference between saying and putting it in print.

When you are alone, or in a private room, shouting such may not matter. But when you put it in print, it's a reflection of yourself - and like what Chief say, you are an extension of the school. For instance, if many of the kids in a school swear and put in profanities online, and are defiant to authority for no reason, I seriously doubt many people will look favourably at EVERYONE from that particular school.

When I was in JC, there was a teacher who couldn't assert herself and was constantly heckled during lectures. I felt pity for the teacher, and only disgust at those boys. So what if those are the top brains of the nation....in my mind, if those who could not behave and who could not even show some support to someone valiantly trying to do her job, they are no better than cockroaches.

Understand that swearing and using profanities may make one feel grownup (I went through that phase also), but since then, I have also learnt that it's just not socially acceptable and in fact is a super big putoff. It's ok to vent, just that the venue needs be appropriate.

At first I thought the nick MOE_Hater would be someone who's just one track minded...am happy to say that I am sooo wrong.

And to all the teachers (esp that teacher mentioned by MOE_Hater), I salute to you all and cannot give enough thanks that you are still actively serving the nation. DH and I are those type of parents who will pass a cane to the teacher to use - but then I also want to know when that happens (so I can go back and cane one more time). Not all parents blindly side with their kids....at least not in my household.

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Postby RRMummy » Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:11 pm

insider wrote:I assume the students mentioned in the case are around their teens.


MOE Hater wrote: social networking sites are places we tend to vent our feelings and as long it is not offending what is wrong in that? (After all, in P6 you feel the heat)


Err... it seems that they are in P6??

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