DS closer to my mum than to dw, how arh?

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DS closer to my mum than to dw, how arh?

Postby markfch » Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:43 pm

DW went overseas for a holiday with PILs and ds stayed behind with me as we don't want him to miss to much lessons. DS never once talked about dw during this period.

But today when my mum returned home after visiting us, within 5 min he said that he misses her already. DS said granny takes good care of him (as though we don't :roll: ). DS will automatically do a lot of things for my mum such as reminding her to take her medication etc. But my mum doesn't stay with us leh, so I don't know how come ds is so close to her?

Btw, I'm not whining (she's my mum after all), I merely stating facts. DW observed that from my side of the family, we show our love thru actions. DW said we know how to amuse children. From her side of the family, they also love as much but have difficulty expressing it. Does anyone else experience this?
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Postby cnimed » Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:23 pm

Different love languages perhaps? Perhaps your son's "love language" is acts of service (since he reminds your mum to take medicine) and physical affection or quality time. (Five Love Languages of children - Gary Chapman).

For my younger one it is physical affection, for my elder one it is quality time and gifts. I realise that my husband can scold them very badly, but as long as he still spends time playing with them or taking them out, they will still consider him the most wonderful dad. I may spend a lot of time cooking and cleaning for them for their allergies, but to them it is meaningless. It is the time I spend doing art and craft or building lego with ds1 that makes him think that mummy loves him. For ds2, mummy can scold him but mummy must hug him afterwards.

If you observe your son to see how HE expresses affection, you will be able to guess what his love language is. Spending a bit of time "speaking" his love language everyday and you will have a good bond.
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Postby Blobbi » Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:56 am

I keep hearing about this book but I've never read it. Sounds like a timely reminder to dive back into parenting books, *splash*. Thanks for the tip, deminc!

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Re: DS closer to my mum than to dw, how arh?

Postby toddles » Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:51 am

markfch wrote:DW went overseas for a holiday with PILs and ds stayed behind with me as we don't want him to miss to much lessons. DS never once talked about dw during this period.

But today when my mum returned home after visiting us, within 5 min he said that he misses her already. DS said granny takes good care of him (as though we don't :roll: ). DS will automatically do a lot of things for my mum such as reminding her to take her medication etc. But my mum doesn't stay with us leh, so I don't know how come ds is so close to her?

Btw, I'm not whining (she's my mum after all), I merely stating facts. DW observed that from my side of the family, we show our love thru actions. DW said we know how to amuse children. From her side of the family, they also love as much but have difficulty expressing it. Does anyone else experience this?


How old is your DS? maybe it's just that age, and he sees granny doing a lot for him, whereas your wife works most of the time?

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My sweet DS

Postby markfch » Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:58 am

Recently DS didn't do well for one of the quizzes that he attended. Last night, the disappointment showed on my face. DS could sense it, he wrote a note to say 'please be happy my best Daddy' and gave it to me. He wrote another note saying 'If you are not happy, I will be sad' :love:

So sweet hor. And then a few days back, I pretended to be sleeping and he secretly kissed my cheeks before going to bed. DS is so sweet sometimes he attracts ants into the bedroom.
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Re: DS closer to my mum than to dw, how arh?

Postby markfch » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:00 am

toddles wrote:How old is your DS? maybe it's just that age, and he sees granny doing a lot for him, whereas your wife works most of the time?


DS is 5+. Yes you maybe rite. DW is a workaholic and ds is closer to my mum & I cos we tend to do more visible things together with him.
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Postby markfch » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:04 am

deminc wrote:If you observe your son to see how HE expresses affection, you will be able to guess what his love language is. Spending a bit of time "speaking" his love language everyday and you will have a good bond.


My ds tends to show love thru actions. Though he reminded me not to eat peanuts recently when I had a bad cough. Thanks for the book recommendation.
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Postby Guest » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:09 am

Kids are naturally attracted to a caregiver who shows visible concern and love to them, so yes, expressing love is very important.
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Re: My sweet DS

Postby qms » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:11 am

markfch wrote:Recently DS didn't do well for one of the quizzes that he attended. Last night, the disappointment showed on my face. DS could sense it, he wrote a note to say 'please be happy my best Daddy' and gave it to me. He wrote another note saying 'If you are not happy, I will be sad' :love:

So sweet hor. And then a few days back, I pretended to be sleeping and he secretly kissed my cheeks before going to bed. DS is so sweet sometimes he attracts ants into the bedroom.


So sweet. :snuggles:

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Re: My sweet DS

Postby Blobbi » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:11 am

markfch wrote:Recently DS didn't do well for one of the quizzes that he attended. Last night, the disappointment showed on my face. DS could sense it, he wrote a note to say 'please be happy my best Daddy' and gave it to me. He wrote another note saying 'If you are not happy, I will be sad' :love:

So sweet hor. And then a few days back, I pretended to be sleeping and he secretly kissed my cheeks before going to bed. DS is so sweet sometimes he attracts ants into the bedroom.


:faint: :love: :love:

You're a lucky man, Mark! Congratulations on raising such a great kid :).

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