My DS does not exhibit passion in anything

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

My DS does not exhibit passion in anything

Postby Huimin » Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:43 am

Hi all
My DS appears to drift along life with no showing of strong interests in anything other than going about his daily routine - doing the min homework and watching his NatGeo Wild channels. He is in P6 now and has never had any CCA. Have tried encouraging him but appears to fall on deaf ears. Does anyone have experience in getting a child like my DS out of his "everything careless" mode ? Only thing I see he enjoys most is hanging around with his few good friends (who are also not that much into studies).

Thanks all in advance

Huimin
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2010 9:24 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby duriz » Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:26 pm

Pre-teens tend to test people and situations as a sign of independence. As a parent, you are naturally concern about his lack of enthusiasm. They also need privacy to test things out for themselves without parent input. Maybe that's why he prefers to hang out with his friends?

This loss of motivation can be fueled by inadequate support in school or by an increased workload and expectations to which he has not yet adjusted.

He maybe depressed? Is therapy available in school? He may feel that things are hopeless and that nothing will make a difference. You can be reach out to professional help that he needs while you continue to offer support.

There is no need to revoke his privileges. If he enjoys NatGeo, why not sit with him and watch together? This gives you a chance to chat and show concern and support. Talk and listen to your child, don't lose touch with him.

duriz
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2282
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:16 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: My DS does not exhibit passion in anything

Postby atfc » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:13 pm

Huimin wrote:Hi all
My DS appears to drift along life with no showing of strong interests in anything other than going about his daily routine - doing the min homework and watching his NatGeo Wild channels. He is in P6 now and has never had any CCA. Have tried encouraging him but appears to fall on deaf ears. Does anyone have experience in getting a child like my DS out of his "everything careless" mode ? Only thing I see he enjoys most is hanging around with his few good friends (who are also not that much into studies).

Thanks all in advance


not having any CCA might be a problem in this. i suggest that you might want to find out what he likes and develop a hobby/interest/sports out of it.

this will give him more life towards everything he is doing.

atfc
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:57 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: My DS does not exhibit passion in anything

Postby Funx3 » Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:38 pm

Huimin wrote:Hi all
My DS appears to drift along life with no showing of strong interests in anything other than going about his daily routine - doing the min homework and watching his NatGeo Wild channels. He is in P6 now and has never had any CCA.


My Eldest DS is the same when he is in P6.
He's a Happy-Go-Lucky type, No CCA (Join quite a number, but short life ..... Quit after a few weeks / months .... Say Boring-Lah).
Grade Not outstanding - Got <200 in his PSLE results so posted to a neighbourhood school for Normal Academics Class (Yes, Many Kids cannot Make it to Express Class!)

But don't lose Heart, a Lot of Boys are "Late Bloomers" - Many of them Make up their minds in their Teenage years.

In my DS case, While in S1, he starts to develop interest in his Studies and Form New Group of Friends in the New School (only 2 of his P6 friends are posted to the same school). He forms his own study groups and manages his time and studies by himself.
So far he has done well and is amongst the top 10% in his class for the past few years. (was in the BOTTOM 10% in P6 ..... Sigh ..... )

He told me later that Life in Primary School was "Boring" and Very Restrictive. He Prefers Secondary School Life.
And Anyway during those days, he Really Got NO IDEA what he wants to be in Future .....

DS is in S5 this year, taking his O-Level soon. He's doing Fine in the Normal (Academic) stream and his school has allowed him to take Double Maths for his Exam.

We discover DS Real Natural Talent quite by accident in his S1 Days.
DH's computer crashed, and after spending >24 hours on the computer, was extremely frustrated that he cannot solve the problem. Help Arrives - DS managed to settle the problem in 30 minutes! (A Real Feat - considering that DH is computer savvy).
After discovering my DS's "Hidden" Talent, Now "DH Won't Trouble-shoot Without DS" ..... DH says "Saves Time-Lah" .....

Funx3
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 6672
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2010 4:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: My DS does not exhibit passion in anything

Postby Huimin » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:06 pm

Hi Fun*3,

Just go back to Kiasu Parent now and am glad to see your very information response. May I know how your son switched that mode from no interest in studying to "managing his time to study" ? My DS is in P6 and result coming out this Thurs 25 but am not too optimistic with his result. My biggest concern is whether or not the school environment is the right one for him ... you mentioned your son did not do well in PSLE. How did you ensure or monitor if it was the right school environment ie motivating, encouraging teachers, friends also into studying ..etc ? Generally, it is a challenge for DS to study if he is surrounded by classmates who are not interested in working hard.... kindly share with me. Thanks a ton!

Huimin
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2010 9:24 am
Total Likes: 0




Return to Working With Your Child