How to encourage a pessimistic child?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to encourage a pessimistic child?

Postby lovejoypeacce » Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:19 pm

Despite all your encouragement?

A child that depends so much on friendships that her moods are dependent on how her friends treat her? Her day is positive if she has a good day with friend but no good if something goes wrong?

She is sensitive in nature and takes things very seriously.

Any one has experience to share?

lovejoypeacce
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Re: How to encourage a pessimistic child?

Postby daisyt » Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:55 pm

lovejoypeacce wrote:Despite all your encouragement?

A child that depends so much on friendships that her moods are dependent on how her friends treat her? Her day is positive if she has a good day with friend but no good if something goes wrong?

She is sensitive in nature and takes things very seriously.

Any one has experience to share?


Hi lovejoypeacce, firstly, how old is your child?

For a she, I can say its very common. I experienced that before when dd was about between 9 to 12. You need lots of time and patience to talk to your child. Encourage her to mix with other friends too. Find out whats wrong has occured, talk to her, discuss with her the problems. Let her know, you are concern and paying attention on her mood and problems too. To them, friendships problems can be as big as the sky (a chinese saying, 大过天" although it can be very mini minor issues. Most important, you must let her share the problems with you and you help her to solve or talk on the problems.

daisyt
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Postby lovejoypeacce » Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:55 pm

My daughter is in Sec 1 this year.

Yes we have told her that she can come to us whenever she has problems. But the thing is she share when she feels like it and clammed up when not in the mood.

So one day she can say that her class is fantastic and the next she will say her whole class is against her....sigh.... spoke to her teacher as well but she didn't see any problem at class...

lovejoypeacce
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Postby daisyt » Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:48 pm

From my experience, by telling her to come to u when she face any pblm is not good enough. First i remember all her friends names, get her to talk about them everyday whatever good or bad happened. Many times i have to keep asking, keep probing then she would tell. Then slowly it becomes a daily thing that she would share. Also have to make an effort to really understand their friendship pblm n talk, talk & talk. Thats my own personal experience. It can be quite irritating because to us, these are saseme issues, not even a pblm. But just have to put ourselves in their age & position lor.

daisyt
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Postby lovejoypeacce » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:17 am

Hey, thanks for sharing. Yeah, did have a good talk with her yesterday. She seems to quite receptive but hope it really went in. Like you said, I have to talk and talk and talk and emphasise on the good things she have in her life.

lovejoypeacce
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Postby daisyt » Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:27 am

And also because she is in a new school, new environment with new people. I think its a transition period lor. Some kids would take longer time to blend in sec school life, some are faster.

daisyt
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