parenting style

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

parenting style

Postby KoalaMummy » Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:40 pm

My ds1, in P4 this year, is a rather smart kid, but very lazy, only likes to play computer games and watch tv.

His cousin (my dh's younger brother's son), in P3 this year, though not as smart as my boy (street-wise) is very hardworking. He got into GEP, 2nd stage. (His mom is a ex-teacher and a SAHM.)

Even though nobody is comparing, yet, i felt a bit disappointed in my ds. I wonder if i've been too lax with him. My dh and I never really pressurise him in his schoolwork. We want him to have a 'fun and memorable' childhood. however, now i began to re-think if this is not right. what do you parents think? what is your parenting style and how has it influenced your kids?

KoalaMummy
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Postby Guest » Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:37 pm

Eh KoalaMummy, I made an earlier attempt to reply you but failed....let me try again.

My child though can study up to now only la, I also get criticised for my parenting style. Not being street-wise compared to her cousin is something I am always being criticised by my MIL. To my standard, I think she is street-wise enough for her age but compared to her cousin who likes to know about everything under the sun except schoolwork, my child is pale in comparison. So what I do is focus on her strengths and build upon it, and numbed myself to external "white noise".

Getting to GEP round 2 can mean a child is mainly a mugger. If a child is not willing to mug in schoolwork, at least let him mug in something he is good at, maybe sports if you find computer and TV no good.

Yesterday a mum shared with me that she planned to send her child to the art class to learn a skill instead of watching TV everyday. Though amused, I thought she was not wrong as she was targetting something interesting.

Lastly, don't use others' kids achievement to conclude your own report card so soon. The academic journey is long and ardous and no one knows until the child secure a career in future. Instead keep encouraging yourself to work with your child and don't give up, nothing is too late.
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Postby LKVM » Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:43 pm

ksi wrote:Eh KoalaMummy, I made an earlier attempt to reply you but failed....let me try again.

My child though can study up to now only la, I also get criticised for my parenting style. Not being street-wise compared to her cousin is something I am always being criticised by my MIL. To my standard, I think she is street-wise enough for her age but compared to her cousin who likes to know about everything under the sun except schoolwork, my child is pale in comparison. So what I do is focus on her strengths and build upon it, and numbed myself to external "white noise".

Getting to GEP round 2 can mean a child is mainly a mugger. If a child is not willing to mug in schoolwork, at least let him mug in something he is good at, maybe sports if you find computer and TV no good.

Yesterday a mum shared with me that she planned to send her child to the art class to learn a skill instead of watching TV everyday. Though amused, I thought she was not wrong as she was targetting something interesting.

Lastly, don't use others' kids achievement to conclude your own report card so soon. The academic journey is long and ardous and no one knows until the child secure a career in future. Instead keep encouraging yourself to work with your child and don't give up, nothing is too late.


:goodpost: :celebrate:

LKVM
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Postby KoalaMummy » Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:54 pm

ksi wrote:Eh KoalaMummy, I made an earlier attempt to reply you but failed....let me try again.


Hi KSI, thanks for your encouragment. :wink: Problem is, my ds don't seem to be interested in anything other than computer games and tv programme. :stupid:

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Postby Guest » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:13 pm

KoalaMummy wrote:
ksi wrote:Eh KoalaMummy, I made an earlier attempt to reply you but failed....let me try again.


Hi KSI, thanks for your encouragment. :wink: Problem is, my ds don't seem to be interested in anything other than computer games and tv programme. :stupid:


Then maybe give him a difficult target on computer game and see how he does? Challenge him to push himself to his limit in what he likes best. It is the spirit you want to cultivate in him. GWIM?
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Postby mummyoftwo » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:16 pm

KoalaMummy wrote:
ksi wrote:Eh KoalaMummy, I made an earlier attempt to reply you but failed....let me try again.


Hi KSI, thanks for your encouragment. :wink: Problem is, my ds don't seem to be interested in anything other than computer games and tv programme. :stupid:


Hi, i am in a similar situation with you for my P4 son. Since young, he has been enjoying his childhood with no enrichment classes till P2 where i need to put him in chinese tution as he was really bad (besides swimming and art lesson, which is not academic). Now that he is in P4, i do sometimes felt that if i have gotten him in enrichment classes earlier, maybe he might be better in his work (he was an average child) but at the end of the day, i told myself that i only want my child to be a happy kid, not spending time going to classes etc... I do not send them to enrichment classes on weekends as i felt this is a time to spend with family. I do have a happy boy and that's all it matters. i do not need to be the top 10 in class, as long as he can go to the next level and do not get below 60, I am happy...

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Postby KoalaMummy » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:17 pm

ksi wrote:Then maybe give him a difficult target on computer game and see how he does? Challenge him to push himself to his limit in what he likes best. It is the spirit you want to cultivate in him. GWIM?


haha, that's my dh's role. he does teach my kids quite a lot of gaming tactics... not my style, don't like computer gaming :P

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Postby Guest » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:27 pm

KoalaMummy wrote:
ksi wrote:Then maybe give him a difficult target on computer game and see how he does? Challenge him to push himself to his limit in what he likes best. It is the spirit you want to cultivate in him. GWIM?


haha, that's my dh's role. he does teach my kids quite a lot of gaming tactics... not my style, don't like computer gaming :P


Eh Koalamummy, you never know...your kid may just become a computer game whiz kid in future.... If it happens, don't forget to inform me hor... :D
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Postby KoalaMummy » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:31 pm

ksi wrote:Eh Koalamummy, you never know...your kid may just become a computer game whiz kid in future.... If it happens, don't forget to inform me hor... :D


haha...that thought did crossed my mind... :lol: No worries, u will be the first one i informed. :love:

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Re: parenting style

Postby sleepy » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:34 pm

KoalaMummy wrote:what is your parenting style and how has it influenced your kids?


I preach to my kids 'no matter how clever you are, you still need to put in sufficient effort, there's simply no short cut in life.' So that goes for whatever they endeavor, be it academic or non academics. I can't stand sloppy attitude. Not sure whether this is considered a style :scratchhead:

They heard me loud and clear but do not necessary practice what I preach every time :lol:

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