At what age yr child should start dating?

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At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby loner » Sun Oct 24, 2010 1:27 pm

I keep telling myself it should be 18 and above :| but I know deep down it could happen earlier.... :slapshead: :sweat: Are you prepared for the day to come.....

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Postby carebear » Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:39 pm

Ya i think 18 years old will be a good age, ie when they enter university.

My first date was just after the O levels when i was 16 years old.
Had a bf in JC (not my 1st date).
In my younger years, i knew that dates and bf were just a passing stage and part of the learning process in relationships.
I was quite sure that i would not marry any of my previous dates as we were then too young to commit ourselves.

Also was very "guai".
Apart from holding hands, and occasional peck on the cheek, nothing more physical. My mom always emphasized that in a relationship before marriage, the girl must practise self restraint as most of the time the girl is at the losing end.

I believe it all stems from my strict upbringing.
The values that were inculcated in me since young have great impact on me. My parents did not interfere with my relationships cos i think they had confidence in me.

I have been talking casually to my kids each time i have the opportunity to broach the subject.
I make it a point to emphasize the dangers of casual sex and premarital sex and the consequence of sex with an underaged person.

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Postby sleepy » Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:03 pm

I told my dd to keep an active lookout in university. By then the boys in her year would be at least 2 years older than her after NS, more matured? Senior years also can. Pick and choose carefully. Take her time, date a few boys casually, no need to rush into any relationship since she has 3 years in Uni to observe & choose. After her Masters degree, can get married

Although I think highly unlikely would map out that way. Papa needs to stand outside the school gate with a fly swap since K1 :roll:

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Postby mrswongtuition » Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:29 pm

Actually, it seriously depends on your kid's personalities.

I'm the 'rebellious' type. The more my dad mentioned it, the more I wanted to go against him.

He said wait till uni then find BF, I purposely go find a bf at P6.
Then keep changing when I not happy with the boy (read: Pressure to 'go further').
Hubs was BF #8 when I was 16yo :)

Just mention it A FEW TIMES during serious discussions. And that's it. No need to repeat like a broken record. We know it means we know it.

And when my dad kept commenting about my hubs (this no good, that no good), I was more determined to prove to him that my hubs is NOT like what my dad said.

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Postby mrswongtuition » Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:30 pm

Oh ya, I think it's fine to 'date' as in go out but not official BF/GF from secondary school onwards as long as boundaries are drawn.

It's good to get to know some boys on a more personal level, without peers around. Then when a good one comes along, then the girl will know right?

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Postby markfch » Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:24 pm

sleepy wrote:I told my dd to keep an active lookout in university. By then the boys in her year would be at least 2 years older than her after NS, more matured? Senior years also can. Pick and choose carefully. Take her time, date a few boys casually, no need to rush into any relationship since she has 3 years in Uni to observe & choose. After her Masters degree, can get married

Although I think highly unlikely would map out that way. Papa needs to stand outside the school gate with a fly swap since K1 :roll:


Wah sleepy, you already plan for your dd's masters degree. You're making me very stress leh :lol:
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Postby Sun_2010 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:43 pm

mrswongtuition wrote:Actually, it seriously depends on your kid's personalities.

I'm the 'rebellious' type. The more my dad mentioned it, the more I wanted to go against him.

He said wait till uni then find BF, I purposely go find a bf at P6.
Then keep changing when I not happy with the boy (read: Pressure to 'go further').
Hubs was BF #8 when I was 16yo :)

Just mention it A FEW TIMES during serious discussions. And that's it. No need to repeat like a broken record. We know it means we know it.

And when my dad kept commenting about my hubs (this no good, that no good), I was more determined to prove to him that my hubs is NOT like what my dad said.


:goodpost:

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Postby looneytunezz » Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:12 am

Oh Mrswongtuition, you started at 12? I am so concerned when my ds at 12 starts liking girls. I suppose its normal but to start to have a girlfriend, I think I want him to finish army at least. But you turned out so well despite starting very young. I think the perception I have is that kids who start so young tend to get distracted and lose focus and do not turn out well.

Mum of looneytunezz (actually my ds does not come to ksp anymore so I have taken his acct)

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Postby verykiasu2010 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:33 am

:rotflmao: DS got quite a number of 'those' unmistakeable sms and emails from some girls leh...... but he is cool about it ..... usually no reply one.. :rotflmao:
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Postby sleepy » Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:04 pm

markfch wrote:Wah sleepy, you already plan for your dd's masters degree. You're making me very stress leh :lol:


By their era, I think it's the norm to have Masters and PHD, just to get an entry level job

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