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At what age yr child should start dating?

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby FishFingers » Fri Jun 16, 2017 12:26 am

I prefer my daughters to be dating at 17.

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby mindbogglers27 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 10:14 pm

I don't even think about it just yet, especially that my daughter is still in preschool age. But for me, the ideal age is not younger than 16.

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby rosemaryherb » Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:41 pm

funny how answers have changed over the years. during my time, my parents would be saying 21 years. at least... lol

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby penmighty » Sun Jul 23, 2017 6:02 pm

rosemaryherb wrote:funny how answers have changed over the years. during my time, my parents would be saying 21 years. at least... lol

now different le..... no more like last time this cannot that cannot.

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby vividlaurel » Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:47 pm

Hi,

Came across this thread while grappling with this issue.

My DD is in Sec 3 in a neighbourhood school. She has a group of friends from Primary school, of which one boy is her brother's best friend (different school). My DD & DS are twins and I know this other boy since P2/P3 when he became best friends with my son.

In P3/P4, he told my DS that he will marry my DD when they grow older. At that point, I just brushed it off and didn't think much about it. This boy has always been a friend to both DD & DS and is a fairly bright and hardworking student. Last week, DD told me he started messaging her all of a sudden and during this messaging they both told each other they 'liked' each other. I'm glad she told me this a day or two after they confessed their feelings to each other. DD finds it super awkward since it's its best friend and sister, but he does not have an opinion either way.

I sat her down and told her it's too early for both of them to have any serious relationships since they are young. They both need to see and live life more before they decide their future and maybe meet other people in JC/Poly and Uni. I did tell her also that in 5-6 years (when they turn 20-21) if they still feel the same about each other, they can take this relationship further and see where it goes. Till then, they can only remain friends, no serious dating, but can meet as part of their primary school group or go on outings with DS. I do know she chats with him on Whatsapp. Also, both DD and the boy belong to different races. I am race-blind, but I am also concerned if this may become an issue later on if they choose to continue this relationship.

My question is, "Am I doing the right thing?" DD is very ambitious and has plans of doing a PhD or at the very least, a Masters. She is also focussed on school work and other than both texting at the moment, there's not much going on, though they have made plans to meet for an outing (with DS perhaps) after the mid-year exams.

Is this the right age for all this? I don't want to impose anything on her as I feel she may do it behind my back. My DH is a bit traditional and does not know about DD and the boy 'liking' each other and only knows him as DD & DS' primary school friend and DS' best friend.

This has been keeping me awake for the past week and I really don't know what to do. Please advice!

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby slmkhoo » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:30 pm

I think you've done the best you can. You can't stop them messaging each other, and it's better you know than if they do it behind your back. As long as they realise that they can't get serious till they are at least university age, and they are sensible enough to realise that things can change in the interim, I guess there's no more you can do.

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby CatMoon » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:35 pm

slmkhoo wrote:I think you've done the best you can. You can't stop them messaging each other, and it's better you know than if they do it behind your back. As long as they realise that they can't get serious till they are at least university age, and they are sensible enough to realise that things can change in the interim, I guess there's no more you can do.


:goodpost:

Agree with slmkhoo

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby slmkhoo » Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:50 pm

Had another thought about this. I don't know what your personal experience is, but if you have experiences with "puppy love" yourself that didn't work out, this is the time to start telling those stories to your kids! Or other people's stories that you remember. I have told many stories, of my own and friends (no names mentioned if they know the people!), of crushes and romances that did and didn't work out for whatever reasons. Overall, my daughters have realised that while some early romances last, by far the majority don't. They also realise that a lot of growing and changing happens in the teen years and early 20s, so it's best not to get too serious or be too definite too early.

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby vividlaurel » Wed Apr 18, 2018 8:06 am

Thanks, slmkhoo and CatMoon,

I have spoken to my DD yesterday and learnt that she has spoken to the boy and told him about what I said and they both have agreed to not take this further until they are older. I am also planning to ask DS to invite the boy home after the exams and see if I can also speak with him.

I also really like the idea of telling her about failed puppy love, and will start implementing it as soon as she is done with her exams!

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Re: At what age yr child should start dating?

Postby slmkhoo » Wed Apr 18, 2018 8:58 am

Your daughter and the boy sound like sensible kids. Just keep a watchful eye from a distance for now.

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