How to teach my child not to destroy things? Any suggestion

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How to teach my child not to destroy things? Any suggestion

Postby fohope » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:39 pm

I have a 5 year old boy who like to destroy thing like toys, my keychain,
and many others.

Anyone has child who has the same behaviour as mine? How to guide him to treasure all the thing?

fohope
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Postby Guest » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:45 pm

I believe you have to first figure what is the unlying reason for destruction?

1. Some destroy as they are curious and will re-construct, this is called reverse engineering.

2. Some destroy because it is an emotional problem, then you gotta find out what triggers that aggression.

3. Some destroy because they do not understand what is destruction and its consequences.

4. Some destroy because destruction gives satisfaction.

I think it is important you know why he does it before you find the prescription.

Hope this helps. :D
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Thank you for your information/guidance

Postby fohope » Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:06 pm

Hi KSI

Thank you for your info/guidance. How do I know is it an aggression?
What I know is mainly due to mischief or curiousity. An hour ago, he had just destroy my keychain by pulling out the chain from the attached toy and left it there. After I have done my cooking, then I realised it.

Thanks and regards.

fohope
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Postby Guest » Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:43 pm

You can start by asking him why he did what he did and listen to his view.

If he cannot articulate, you have to observe him for a while before you can form some conclusion on his behaviour.

To know if it is aggression, you need to see him destroy in action.

If it is curiosity, then you should help him further by asking him to try fixing it back to complete his curiosity.

I am no expert in this but this is what I would do if I face such a situation.

Children being children I think the curiosity can be empowering at times.
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Postby krazy » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:18 am

I realized that my then 3 yr old child was curious abt lots of my things and of course electronic gadgets. Initially because of the fear of her destroying my camera or even the computer, I would just shoo her away then I saw that it only made her more curious and I often saw her dig into my bag for it.

Then I decided that it was better to teach her to operate these gadgets and soon, I saw that her interests in these electronic gadgets weaned.. Ha ha. I mean, she knew how to turn on the camera or computer to view pictures or her YouTube videos and after she was done, switch them off appropriately and won't touch them till a long time again.

So for her it was the curiosity and I guess I thought she was break such stuff if she played with them and I would raise my voice whenever I saw her with my camera or standing near the computer but I don't have to do that anymore. :)

krazy
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Postby blueblue » Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:36 am

hi kelly2009

I faced the same situation as you. Sometimes I wonder could it be that boys are more rough?

My son's toys usually don't last very long esp when he was younger. Take apart drum set (they couldn't be put back afterwards), take out guitar strings from guitar (despite telling him many times not to do it), pull out tyres bands from his electric car (car is quite big..dunno how he manage to pull out) & other things.

Parts would go missing. Even the rubik cube he got from his school don't even last 2 hours. He took a masking tape and wrapped out the cube. When he pull the tape off, off came the paper. I also bought a newly hp chain with a very cute bear. He wanted to play with it and he returned me the hp without the bear. He managed to take it off and I can't fix it back.

Luckily he is less 'destructive' now as compared to younger days.

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Postby adhdadhd » Sun Oct 31, 2010 5:45 pm

Congratulations, I tend to believe that child who likes to destroy, or dis-assemble things are future engineers. Ask them, they have reasons behind those destruction (relative terms). some of the possible answers are, boring, curious, want to have fun... etc.

You may find that they will like maths and science better than languages.

I suggest buying Lego for them to destroy, as they may be reconstructed, in this way, the child will be more creative as well.

But I do not know why boys seemed have this tendency... which can start really young.

adhdadhd
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Postby tamarind » Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:32 pm

I totally agree with buying Lego. I bought tons of Lego toys for my kids since my older girl was one year old, every piece was still intact after 6 years.

Lego has Duplo bricks which are bigger and safer for kids under 3 years old.

Kids below 6 years old should never be given any toys that can be spoiled easily. We kept all our electronic gadgets and fragile items high up so kids cannot reach.

If the child kept destroying toys, then either buy him toys that cannot be destroyed, like Lego, or stop buying him any toys.

tamarind
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Postby cnimed » Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:51 pm

I don't agree that boys are born more destructive, but I do agree with all the other posters that you should consider your choice of toys carefully. There are many toys that are not well made - period. Three year-olds are very hands on. My sons toys consist of wooden building blocks, wooden train tracks, metal Thomas trains, hard board puzzles from Europe, wooden building kit with high density plastic screws etc. They are more expensive, but they are well made and last for years. They also meet safety standards in terms of paints and materials used.

if you want to share your gadgets, teach the child how to use your things. My three year old can shut down my laptop by himself after he finshed with it.
cnimed
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Postby cnimed » Sun Oct 31, 2010 8:13 pm

Sorry, I just realised ur son is 5, not 3. In this case, I suggest you also teach him how to make amends. In the case of your key chain, you can show him how to repair it. Same with other toys and books. Does he tend to have poor judgement with regards to the amount of force to use for various activities? E.g closing doors, picking up filled cups etc? These are some things to consider. Some children are lacking in this area, and it's not deliberate.
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