How to improve popularity?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to improve popularity?

Postby sleepy » Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:15 pm

How to improve popularity? To some, it seems so natural, always surrounded by friends.

My dd was telling me about an extremely popular girl in her class. The whole group of girls followed her to recess. Everyone likes to hang around that girl.

My dd is very amazed and asked me why would someone be so popular?
This kind of question totally floored me. I'm equally clueless.

My dd is helpful and kindhearted but she can appear to be quite bossy at times even though her intention is utterly good.

I've been telling her to be humble. Besides this, any other hot tips on how to improve popularity?

sleepy
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Postby Quintessential Mum » Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:31 pm

I think that there are different types of popularity. Some are popular because of:
Good Looks
Wealth
Intellect
Attractive Personality (Kind hearted, warmth, etc)
Bad Behaviour
Or a combination of the above.

I think that the important thing is to be true to oneself and be happy. Happy people attract other people. There is no point copying others :wink: I would rather that people like me for who i am, imperfections and all. My 2 cents worth!

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Postby sleepy » Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:13 pm

Quintessential Mum wrote:I think that the important thing is to be true to oneself and be happy. Happy people attract other people. There is no point copying others :wink:


True, no point and certainly quite impossible to copy. I suppose I see it as learning from their success 8)

I read somewhere "Having friends help children feel happy, confident and connected but children aren't born knowing how to build friendship. They learn it."

Not easy especially when I'm still 'learning' at this senior age :lol:

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Postby Nebbermind » Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:13 pm

ya, I remember when I was young, people are usually attracted by good looks, or at least prim and proper.

pleasant personality helps alot too.

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Re: How to improve popularity?

Postby tamarind » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:37 pm

sleepy wrote:How to improve popularity? To some, it seems so natural, always surrounded by friends.

My dd was telling me about an extremely popular girl in her class. The whole group of girls followed her to recess. Everyone likes to hang around that girl.

My dd is very amazed and asked me why would someone be so popular?
This kind of question totally floored me. I'm equally clueless.

My dd is helpful and kindhearted but she can appear to be quite bossy at times even though her intention is utterly good.

I've been telling her to be humble. Besides this, any other hot tips on how to improve popularity?



Actually, when in school, it is best not to be popular.

A child who is too popular will always be "disturbed" by friends, and may be easily distracted from studying. She will probably spend more time worrying about how she looks and how she walks, and less than thinking about her studies.

I feel that so long as the child has a few good friends, then it is good enough. She does not have to be the most popular girl in school.

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Postby Nebbermind » Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:47 am

But almost everyone wants to be popular...it's human nature...just like we crave for long life...ya?

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Postby csc » Thu Nov 11, 2010 8:28 am

Nebbermind wrote:But almost everyone wants to be popular...it's human nature...just like we crave for long life...ya?



errr..i don't think so lah...my family of 4 hate to be in the lime light. We feel most comfortable when the attention is not on us :)

But that does not mean we do not have friends. All of us have friends we can rely upon for help and support and to have fun and laughter with.

I agree with Tamarind that having a few good friends is in a way better than popularity. I encourage my children to build good friendships among their peers. They must be good friends themselves first. Seek true friendships , rather than popularity.

The most popular may not have any true friends after all...We can think of many celebrities who belong to this category such as MJ.

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Postby csc » Thu Nov 11, 2010 8:41 am

Some tips for making friends:

* Be approachable
Smile always and make eye contact and listen attentively. Being a good listener is more important than being a talker. Taking an interest in others is a more effective approach than attempts to make others interested in you. Don’t disagree or argue or when you enter into a conversation. Be friendly and courteous with everyone in the group. In this way, you can gain the reputation of being good-natured and fun to be around.

* Follow through
If you exchange phone numbers or email addresses with someone, take the initiative and call. Invite that person to do something with you, and even offer for another friend to come along. My daughter offered a lift to some friends when her father came to pick her up after school. And one of her new friends invited her to play a game online last night. She also took the initiative to call one new gal about homework matters.
Be open to meeting as many new people as possible. Eventually, some of those new acquaintances will transform into good friends due to mutual attraction and common interests.

* Behave in a positive manner
Follow the old but wise advice , “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.” Make sure all your comments are complimentary and positive. However, don’t flatter. Don’t criticise others and point out their shortcomings. Don’t complain.
People enjoy being around encouraging and friendly companions. Make sure you are someone others would enjoy spending time with.

* Take the initiative
To make new friends, someone has to make the first move. Do not be passive. Be proactive. Let that someone be YOU.
Making new friends is sometimes hard work. However if you make the effort, the reward is tremendous.

Once you have established new friendships, make sure you are a good friend yourself. Be loyal and trustworthy. Keep confidences, be supportive, be generous and be compassionate.

Here’s wishing that our children will make time to build true friendships amidst their busy schedule. This is so that their lives may be enriched and souls nourished. I pray that our children will have a remarkable journey ahead with their friends.

“A friend is a gift you give yourself.” Robert Louis Stevenson

“A friend loveth at all times.” Proverbs 17:17

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only True friends leave good footprints in your heart" - ELeanor Roosevelt



Adapted from Tips on Making New Friends by Carol Gioia.

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Postby Nebbermind » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:34 pm

csc wrote: errr..i don't think so lah...my family of 4 hate to be in the lime light. We feel most comfortable when the attention is not on us :)

But that does not mean we do not have friends. All of us have friends we can rely upon for help and support and to have fun and laughter with.

I agree with Tamarind that having a few good friends is in a way better than popularity. I encourage my children to build good friendships among their peers. They must be good friends themselves first. Seek true friendships , rather than popularity.

The most popular may not have any true friends after all...We can think of many celebrities who belong to this category such as MJ.


Think we are not looking at the same thing here....I'm talking abt being well-liked...not famous.

Being well-liked and getting acceptance from people around ...do'n't we rather have that?

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Postby snowman.697 » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:38 pm

Don’t criticise others and point out their shortcomings.


What about constructive criticism?

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