disappointment wif kids

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

disappointment wif kids

Postby 24hr-mum » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:40 pm

hi parents

do any of u parents feel disappointed wif ur kids at times, that despite the amt of time, effort n $ or even sacrificing ur career to be sahm, ur kids do poorly in sch, rude to ur, disobey u, disrespect u, argue wif u etc?

do any of u parents feel like giving up on ur kids?

just wonder if any1 share my sentiments now.

24hr-mum
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Re: disappointment wif kids

Postby Monster Mummy » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:22 pm

24hr-mum wrote:hi parents

do any of u parents feel disappointed wif ur kids at times, that despite the amt of time, effort n $ or even sacrificing ur career to be sahm, ur kids do poorly in sch, rude to ur, disobey u, disrespect u, argue wif u etc?

do any of u parents feel like giving up on ur kids?

just wonder if any1 share my sentiments now.


Hi,

For my end, if my children are rude or disrepect, I tend to get agitated and angry. Maybe is my character.
But if they are not performing, i will wonder is whether they are not interested or able to understand. I would get frustrated and tend to scold them.

Overall as a parents, we will seldom give up on the children and we will continue to find the way to assist them to improve.

Monster Mummy
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Re: disappointment wif kids

Postby Jennifer » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:27 pm

24hr-mum wrote:just wonder if any1 share my sentiments now.


Sometimes I do feel this way too.

Jennifer
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Re: disappointment wif kids

Postby KC » Wed Dec 15, 2010 11:43 pm

Hi 24hrmum,
I guess as a mother of today,we are more protective and concern Abt our kids. Hence, if they don't perform or behave to our expectations, we will be sad or even mad. Be it academic, behavior and whatsoever, we expect our kids to be the best (kiasu forum is here for) and most times tend to compare with peers too.

Having 3 kids can make our blood boils faster and age faster too. At times, I wonder why I have 3 'burden' instead of childless and enjoying my life else where. However when the anger or disappointment goes off the next day or so, I still love them dearly and try my best to help. Sometimes, we have to 'kan kai' and let them grow up. Hope I am not too long winded.


24hr-mum wrote:hi parents

do any of u parents feel disappointed wif ur kids at times, that despite the amt of time, effort n $ or even sacrificing ur career to be sahm, ur kids do poorly in sch, rude to ur, disobey u, disrespect u, argue wif u etc?

do any of u parents feel like giving up on ur kids?

just wonder if any1 share my sentiments now.

KC
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Postby kids_r_innocent » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:05 am

I do feel the frustration daily when dealing wif my kids though they are consider pretty well behave. :?

However, i do feel at times that the feelings we have wif our children is mainly based on our attitude and mindset we have placed on them; high hopes, and endless expectations??

At the end of the day, we must remind ourselves that we must not give up on them coz we are the ones who "brought" them here and we are their ONLY hope.

Perhaps we can relax and listen to them more; juz like tug-a-war, sometimes you have to pull and let go at the rite time.

Have a positive and happy mind; you can have an enjoyable parenthood too. :D

kids_r_innocent
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Postby 24hr-mum » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:20 am

thanks. but sometimes when i nag at them, my hubby will say why u so fierce, sigh....n i get blamed instead.

we sacrifice our $ time effort on lettg them learn this n that n they instead complain, 'i practise already', not becos they not interested, but due to sheer laziness n complacency. i get very frus..feel like givg up

24hr-mum
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Postby kids_r_innocent » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:32 am

24hr-mum wrote:thanks. but sometimes when i nag at them, my hubby will say why u so fierce, sigh....n i get blamed instead.

we sacrifice our $ time effort on lettg them learn this n that n they instead complain, 'i practise already', not becos they not interested, but due to sheer laziness n complacency. i get very frus..feel like givg up


Not sure how old are your children. As for my preschoolers, after i advise them, i would adopt the "make your own choice and bear your own consequences" method even on homeworks.

I dun repeat or nag at them and try to stay calm when dealing with them but of course, both Daddy and Mummy have to stand by the same house rules for my two kids; be consistent and it works!!

As for enrichment classes, i have also learn to let go from my 2nd kid. Learn based on their interest, if not we will drop them out of the class. I have also learn that by making learning fun and involve yourself in it, the results are definitely better than sending them to enrichment classes.

kids_r_innocent
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Postby 24hr-mum » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:41 am

for academic classes, usu the kids are not interested in subjects that they are weak. so cant let them learn 'based on interest'. i feel that they must learn that in life, some things u hv to do even if u are not interested, if they are essential. avoiding difficulties only make them soft

24hr-mum
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Postby kids_r_innocent » Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:15 am

24hr-mum wrote:for academic classes, usu the kids are not interested in subjects that they are weak. so cant let them learn 'based on interest'. i feel that they must learn that in life, some things u hv to do even if u are not interested, if they are essential. avoiding difficulties only make them soft


OIC.. its academic supplementary classes. Sure!! I do agree that they have to understand that in life that there are tings that we have to do even if we do not like it.

Like in my kid's case, if the elder kid does not want to complete the assignment given by the abacus teacher, then we will let it be coz the child will have to learn to face the music (answer to the teacher!!). We normally dun let them avoid the difficulties but instead let them learn the hard way if they insist on their decisions.

On the other side of the coin, we praise them and catch them doing the right ting when they try even if the answers are wrong or it's juz a few mins of sitting down and doing their work. :wink:

kids_r_innocent
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Postby 3Boys » Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:39 am

I think we need to accept our kids for what they are, and not what we wish for them to be. Its natural that we want them to do well in life, but it should be that we wish for them to do well for THEMselves, and not for OUR sakes. That way, we do not set ourselves to be disappointed, if they fail to meet OUR expectations.

By all means, set lofty goals, challenge your children to better themselves, but should they not achieve them, they need to know they can come back to a safe zone with their parents.

As parents, I don't think we have an option to give up on our kids.

3Boys
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