Coping w the pri 1 school

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Coping w the pri 1 school

Postby hl_ng » Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:42 am

Hi to all parent,

Currently my son is in pri 1 but he has problem in coping his emotional. When it time to go school, he will give excuses of not going. Can parent please share yr experience of how to help my poor little boy?

He will tell me " I play alone, eat alone. I am tired after school." it is heart breaking when he tell me this..

Ng

hl_ng
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Postby hquek » Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:49 am

hi hl_ng,

My DS1 also started P1 this year. No complaints so far even though he's just lost his best friend from kindy (in another school). Are you able to sit with him alone and just talk to him and chat about what's going on in school? First 2 weeks, a bit early to make new best friends right? Encourage him to talk with others and share with others.

On the other hand, perhaps you may like to contact the form teacher or subject teachers and check how he's been doing. Mainly chit chat. Don't let anything on that he's not feeling positive about the school, but see if you can pry something out. I'm just concerned if he's being ostracised or what in school.

Good luck!

hquek
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Re: Coping w the pri 1 school

Postby janet88 » Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:54 am

hl_ng wrote:Hi to all parent,

Currently my son is in pri 1 but he has problem in coping his emotional. When it time to go school, he will give excuses of not going. Can parent please share yr experience of how to help my poor little boy?

He will tell me " I play alone, eat alone. I am tired after school." it is heart breaking when he tell me this..
Ng


My daughter is in P1 too. She isn't that sociable. Breaking the ice and making friends isn't easy in a new environment. My heart breaks reading your post. How about his partner ? Is he able to communicate with his partner ? Did his teacher have any ice-breaking sessions in the first week of school ? P1 teachers are usually friendlier...maybe you can email her/him to share more about your boy.

As for being tired after school, my daughter faces the same thing too. She is in the morn session. When she reaches home, I give her a warm bath to relax. Then lunch and rest. At about 3, I get to take a nap.

janet88
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Postby luvmum » Mon Jan 17, 2011 12:23 pm

This is also the first year in the Primary school setting for my elder girl. It's fortunate that she enjoys going to school and knows a number of friends though school reopens for the 3rd week now.

However, I feel that the school hour is far too long and it has been really exhausting for my girl. Usually day she will come back at 2pm while wed is 3.30pm. That excludes her CCA, remedial and extra enrichment which has not been scheduled and firmed up yet. Literally no life, no rest and all study throughout. :pokeeye:

luvmum
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Postby cherrygal » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:25 am

It is sad to see that your kid feels isolated at school. Is he a shy and quiet boy by nature? Did he used to have lots of friends at Kindy? Is he now in a mixed school or all boys school? Does it have a very stressful learning culture?

When kids say such things, we as parents must sit up and listen. Have a good talk with him and the teacher to check how he's coping.

Check whether he is being bullied in school. Some kids withdraw into their shells when they get teased or bullied at school. Some fight back.

Try to get him to verbalize what exactly are his feelings and what caused them.

Before my son entered P1, I told him he must make as many friends as possible to stave off the bullies. Bullies hunt down those who are isolated, so it is crucial to make friends. He took my words for real and worked hard at making friends even during the orientation. I also taught him how to make friends - be cheerful, loyal, share, smile more, talk about the latest cartoons etc.

However, it is quite common for P1s to play on their own for the first few months. I saw all the P1 boys running around on their own during recess as they haven't made cliques yet.

Your child is probably a more sensitive child and wants to be liked by everyone, so do pay more attention to him during this period. Reluctance in going to school can lead to a lack of attention in class. Do try to interest him with the positive aspects of school. If all else fails, try asking him if he wants to change school. I have heard of some kids who manage to do better after a change in environment.

cherrygal
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Re: Coping w the pri 1 school

Postby Yong HL » Tue Feb 08, 2011 12:00 pm

hl_ng wrote:Hi to all parent,

Currently my son is in pri 1 but he has problem in coping his emotional. When it time to go school, he will give excuses of not going. Can parent please share yr experience of how to help my poor little boy?

He will tell me " I play alone, eat alone. I am tired after school." it is heart breaking when he tell me this..

Ng


My daughter also in P1 this yr. She is also the reserved and takes very long to warm up type too. We are still struggling to settle her in school now. Every week we have new challenges..
1st week - ok.
2nd week - Fear going school coz she has a naughty boy classmate who blocked her way. I called up the teacher, bought sweets for her whole class just to hope her classmates will treat her better..
3rd week - Fear going school coz teacher started scolding the naughty students (though she wasnt being scolded)
4th week - Dare not go toilet coz teacher say cannot go during class (which the teacher told me some naughty boys always go toilet during class but told me the good ones can go). Dare not bring lunchbox coz she said her frens do not want to look after her things when she wants to go toilet. So i decided to skip the lunch box & let her bring ziplock bag instead so she can fold it up in her pocket then go toilet.
5th week - CNY weekend break
This week - Daughter cried the night before and tells me she is scared coz her 3 frens suddently do not want to friend her (i wonder why girls always have such nonsense from dinosaur time..) Now 2 of them decide to be frens yesterday and see what i am going to get today...

I understand your situation.. what about inviting his frens or ask him treat his class sweets to "buy over" friends? I know this may be lowly but for me, i will do anything just to let her enjoy school and friends..

Yong HL
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Re: Coping w the pri 1 school

Postby LOLMum » Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:32 pm

hl_ng wrote:Hi to all parent,

He will tell me " I play alone, eat alone. I am tired after school." it is heart breaking when he tell me this..

Ng



:( to hear this.


you should approach the teacher immediately and see if she can help like maybe partner him with a classmate for recess.

however i do notice quite a no. of kids on their own during recess. they eat alone and wander round the school by themselves.

maybe pri 1 is a bit overwhelming for him. and if he complains of feeling tired after school, get him to take a nap in the pm (if he is in the am session), sleep early.

hope things work out soon because primary school education just started. so it is a long long walk.........

LOLMum
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Re: Coping w the pri 1 school

Postby kaitlynangelica » Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:48 pm

hl_ng wrote:Hi to all parent,

Currently my son is in pri 1 but he has problem in coping his emotional. When it time to go school, he will give excuses of not going. Can parent please share yr experience of how to help my poor little boy?

He will tell me " I play alone, eat alone. I am tired after school." it is heart breaking when he tell me this..

Ng


Dear Ng,

It saddens me to hear about your son. I fully understand what you are going through my dd is also like that. She is now in P2 and has opened up more. But by and arge, I can say that she is shy, easily bullied and v v sensitive.

Today she called me when I was still at work and cried saying that one nasty girl called her names and nearly destroyed her precious notebook in school. There are a bunch of them in class but this girl seems to be the ring leader. So far, I have tried not to kick up a fuss because I am hopeing that she can overcome them herself. Amongst the things that her classmates have done,

1) Forcing her to give them money.
2) Taking away her erasers
3) Forcing her to put on other people's glasses. I told her not to do it again as I don't want her eyesight to get spoilt.
4) Telling her that she is not in their club

It doesn't happen all the time but here and there.

But to make it worse, she is also very puny in size, weighing a mere 18.4kg and is only 112 cm tall.

kaitlynangelica
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Postby cnimed » Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:09 pm

Wow, those girls are nasty! If I'm in your shoes I would not have the patience and tolerance. I would complain by second instance of them taking her money and things. I feel that sometimes, our children need to see us standing up for what is right before they have the confidence to do so. It depends on the child's personality and the other party and the matter at hand. I definitely do not feel comfortable leaving a shy child to her own devices, especially for girls who take emotional bullying much harder. I have a police friend who made an appointment with his dd's teacher after her things were taken repeatedly, and for another separate incident when the teacher kept rapping the poor girl's head until she hated and feared the subject. After two polite communication with the teachers, he saw them face to face and put a definite stop to things. As for friendship, to me toxic friends are better lost than retained. My son was having a hard time in the bus recently. He's no shy wallflower, but I draw the line when children four to six years older than him are pulling his ears or filming him against his will. I made a point to pick him up for a week and that those kids know who I am and that I know what's going on. As the Chinese saying goes, da gou ye yao kan zhu ren.
cnimed
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