How to handle when kid say never ask $ from her classmate?

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How to handle when kid say never ask $ from her classmate?

Postby E Lim » Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:05 pm

Receive a email from my P1 girl form teacher, a classmate reported to teacher that my girl has been asking the classmate for money. I have just check with my girl. She was angry and say she have never ask anyone in the class for money at all, she has enough money to spend daily. And with my packed lunchbox, she can save up the pocket money. What should I do? Shall I confront the classmate? Please share your view.

E Lim
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Postby cnimed » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:08 pm

You won't be able to confront the classmates. Parents are not allowed to speak to another pupil over such matters; it's deemed improper. Everything will be handled by the teacher. The teacher needs to get feedback from both sides before she can do anything, and my guess is she is probably doing so right now, not necessarily accusing your child of anything. Sometimes, a teacher already knows that one child is prone to untruths, but she will still need to get feedback from the other one to be fair and transparent.

I will just email back what my child said, and add that I am ready to assist the teacher in helping to clarify any possible misunderstanding because my child knows that stealing is a serious offence.

Sometimes the kids are just playing and it sounds much more serious to us. My son is also in P1 and I hear from him that sometimes the students "exchange" money as tokens of friendship :| . I told him he had BETTER stay out of it for fear of being maligned.
:nunchuk:
cnimed
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Re: How to handle when kid say never ask $ from her classmat

Postby MyBaby » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:26 pm

E Lim wrote:Receive a email from my P1 girl form teacher, a classmate reported to teacher that my girl has been asking the classmate for money. I have just check with my girl. She was angry and say she have never ask anyone in the class for money at all, she has enough money to spend daily. And with my packed lunchbox, she can save up the pocket money. What should I do? Shall I confront the classmate? Please share your view.


Hi E Lim, this is how I will approach the issue.

I always believe in not confronting the student directly but to work through the teachers/school. My reason is that I do not like parents to come marching into school and having direct access to my child, so I will not do that to other people's children.

First, check with your DD to ascertain that she REALLY didn't do it. Try not to be emotional/accuse your DD (or the other girl)/put suggestions into her mind. Just tell DD that you've received an email from her teacher and tell her the content of the email. If your DD said she didn't do it, ask her whether she could think of any reason why the other girl would want to accuse her. If your DD could not offer any reason(s) and still insisted that she didn't do it, tell her that you are going to school to talk to her teacher directly. At this point, if DD's been not telling the truth, she might confess.

Then, reply to the email and ask for a meeting with the teacher concerned. Ask the teacher whether has she spoken to the 2 girls before sending out the email to you, or did the teacher just directly take the other girl's words. Tell the teacher your DD's version and give the teacher some time to sort it out.

Sometimes, for events like this, there might be no outcome from the school (some teachers are too bochap and think that this is a small matter, or even if teacher bothered to investigate, it might be a case of one saying the other one is lying and vice versa). But at least, the teacher gets to hear your DD's version, which is important.

What I will do is to follow up with DD about the learning points -
1. It is not ok to borrow/ask someone for money
[I told my kids that in desperate situations, that is, need to say back and forgotten to bring money for lunch, to approach their teachers]

2. Some friends will turn out to be ''true'' friends and some will not. So she needs to be aware who she mixes with. I always tell my kids "true friends bring out the best in you while bad companies bring out the worst in you."

hope the above helps.

MyBaby
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Postby MyBaby » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:28 pm

deminc wrote:Sometimes the kids are just playing and it sounds much more serious to us. My son is also in P1 and I hear from him that sometimes the students "exchange" money as tokens of friendship :| . I told him he had BETTER stay out of it for fear of being maligned.
:nunchuk:


Ha ha, you mean this exchange of money is common in other schools too? Last yr, when my DS was in P1, a livid mummy was complaining loudly that her son's $1 coin was exchanged for a 50cents and her son thought is was a good deal as the 50 cents coin is larger than a $1 coin!

MyBaby
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