How to get child to go "auto" with routine tasks??

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to get child to go "auto" with routine tasks??

Postby troubled » Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:35 am

Hi hi,

Need some advice.....

When my boy (6 years old) comes home, he'll laze on the stool we placed beside the shoe rack, and waste alot of time (must call & call) before going for his shower or to the bathroom to wash his feet! :x

Getting him to get ready for bed is also very tiring....brush teeth, change pyjames....he'll waste alot of time :stupid:

Any tried & tested methods to suggest?? :?:


Thanks a million in advance!!!

troubled
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Postby Oppsgal » Tue Mar 08, 2011 5:18 pm

Get a reward and punishment system. For my 2 years old I tried the punishment (minus off one tv slot for dirtying the floor) and reward system (verbal praising for keeping toys after asked to do so).

Oppsgal
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Postby cherrygal » Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:26 pm

Shake hands with you.... my ds is also a dawdler...

He takes 30mins to wake up for school so we gotta put the snooze function on the alarm clock. If he cries when waking up, he has to sleep 30mins earlier that night (a punishment he is most afraid of).

DS takes >10mins to get ready for bed so I need to remind him to clean up 15mins prior to bed time. Sometimes, despite my advance warnings, he just refuses to budge and I gotta flash the cane. Makes my pressure go up.

Supernanny's tip for dawdlers is to give them advance warnings ahead of the task. I tried it but it doesn't work sometimes. It worked when he was 3yo but not anymore.

As for baths, DS loves his baths a little too much, so my problem is trying to stop him from taking so many baths. I think he likes bathing so much due to my training. We told him the school has germs (HFMD etc) so when we return home, we should bathe and change into clean clothes before sitting on the sofa or bed.

Well, kids have their good days and bad days... like us adults. So try to chill a little as long as he can do well in school. I find that they will do our bidding when we start to let go of the issue. Reverse psychology? Perhaps.

cherrygal
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Postby cnimed » Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:46 pm

Tried the nice patient way. Tried giving advanced warning. Tried reasoning. Then I took out the cane and gave three strokes for each of the nice way ds1 didn't respond to. Younger one got one stroke. The next day everything became auto gear. One more day later, slowly shifted back to dawdling. I told him very simply - when I'm nice and patient, I get no response, no courtesy and a lot of ungrateful complaints. When I take out the cane, I get a good behaviour and promptness. If you (the boys) are me, which do you think works better? - They mumbled "the cane". Then I roared at the boys - so it looks to me that you want a horrible mummy! You GOT HER!

Back to auto gear. I"ll see how long that last.
cnimed
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Postby troubled » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:23 pm

Hi Oppsgal,

I tried the reward method and the take-away your stuff method also but somehow my ds is able to get over it after a few attempts....so its not working for me.... :cry:

Hi Cherrygal & Deminc,

I've also tried the cane, it works well.... :oops:

My ds doesn't cry when we wake him...just that he laze in bed dreamily and when we send him to brush teeth he'll start admiring his face in the mirror :roll:.....wasting time and making my blood boil again!!

He likes bathing also but prefers to be bathed than doing it himself!

Maybe should try all 3 methods and alternate it.... :idea:

troubled
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Re: How to get child to go "auto" with routine tas

Postby satyagraha » Wed Mar 09, 2011 12:21 am

Time waits for no one. Don't wait for him!

My boy is a slow-mo as well, and I used to think it's normal. Untill, I see my girl prepare for school this year (just attended nursery). Waoh... everything chop-chop! Eat breakfast, brush teeth, wash face, change uniform, put on socks & shoes. Yes, she even changed and zip up (at the back, not front) uniform by herself.

I reckoned that if a nursery can get ready in time, why would I need to nag at a K2?! So, I told the kids that from that day onwards, the school bus (aka our family car) will not wait for latecomers.

Sync-ed with hubby that, if boy ever fall back to dillydallying, I'll proceed to car with girl first. Hubby then stay with boy to rush out routine, secretly msg me when they rush out of house. And me, upon receiving msg will drive off such that they can run and catch the "school bus" in time at the main road junction. Objective is to give him a "scare".

Drama hor? But it works! For more than 1 month liao. Fortunately, the mere thought of missing the school bus is too much for my boy, so yet to go into the situation whereby he needs to run for the "bus".

So... in essence, don't wait. Just go ahead with whatever that's planned, he had been told the timing in advance.

satyagraha
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Postby Jennifer » Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:45 am

It takes time for a child to develop a good habit and also largely depends on personality and of course a nagging mother. I feel that nowadays children like to take the easy way out.

I let my children know that I am a busy homemaker and housework takes up my energy that leave me shag at the end of the day. They can help around to relieve my load by doing simple gestures like putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket, turning the clothes out for washing, etc.

Compared to some children, I know I am already very fortunate, so I do not nitpick on everything. We need to know which battles are worth fighting for.

As for going to bed, my elder boy knows that if he does not hv enough sleep hours, he will be sick soon (after so many incidents in the past).

Once a while, both children miss the bedtime hour curfew. I simply need to warn them both will be standing outside the hse if they are not in bed by 10 or 15 mins time. This usu. gets the job done.

Jennifer
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Postby cnimed » Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:31 am

troubled wrote:My ds doesn't cry when we wake him...just that he laze in bed dreamily and when we send him to brush teeth he'll start admiring his face in the mirror :roll:.....wasting time and making my blood boil again!!


Hm, I do cut slack when it's waking up time and bedtime. Hard to be fast and organised when one is tired. Every morning, dh will carry ds1 from bed to the table, and his way of waking ds1 up is to put a slice of nutella bread in front of him. After the first few bites ds1 will perk up. :lol:

It's the dawdling from schoolbus to getting into the shower stall that I cannot stand.
cnimed
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Postby Funz » Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:00 am

Yup we do go through all these in our household as well. DD is getting a bit better now that she is older. DS will need pretty constant re-inforcement. The mornings are a bit better as they know there is a certain time that they need to get out of the house so they better be ready then. I have threatened to send DS to his childcare in his PJs before and he will have to explain to his teachers why he is no in his uniform.

The evenings are more of a challenge. They will dawdle over everything. But as they get older, they start understanding 'opportunity cost' and limited time. I will usually plan about 30mins of actitivities with them before bedtime, be it reading, craft work, etc. So if they dawdle over things before that it will eat into the activity time. Well of course they will haggle to delay bedtime but that is a no no from day one. So protest as much as they like, all toys will be kept, no TV should be turned on and all lights are out. Except for the study lights where DH usually does his stuff. If more protests come from them, the I will threaten to lock their bedroom door by if they are not in bed by the count of 10 and they can sleep in the garden. Haha. Usually works.

Well not auto yet, but what to do. Some days are smooth sailing some days are just chaotic.

Funz
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Postby Mrsbongz » Wed Mar 09, 2011 2:32 pm

Hmm, wat i do is to draw up a timetable.. I use pictures and draw the clock out.. if they finish earlier than planned, they get extra play/comp/tv time.. if they are dilly dally, well, too bad, they get sent to bed on the dot, I've ever sent ds2 to bed without showering!

I also reward them for completing their tasks without nagging, but setting up a reward chart, they get to color a star each night if they do not need to be scolded or nagged to complete their tasks. 20 stars = $2 that they can spend at the arcade. That's a very rare treat, only redeemable when they complete the chart. so far so good.. of cos there are nights things don go well, but that's life with kids I guess..

Mrsbongz
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