Disciplinary Methods - Never the Twain Shall Meet??

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Disciplinary Methods - Never the Twain Shall Meet??

Postby autumnbronze » Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:18 pm

Hi parents,

Please share how do you draw a balance, especially when both you and your spouse/in-laws/parents employ different methods in disciplining your child(ren)??


Contd from previous thread ......

Hi vevey,

I find it tough (and so does DH) to get DH to be the strict disciplinarian. Its because he works long hrs almost everyday and when he comes back home, he's got about 30 mins or so to spend time with DS before I put him to sleep.

Its only been recently, particularly this year that my DH is finally conceding to my views, only because DS has become quite precocious and picked up some undesirable habits from pre-school. But to him, he will still die die use the logical reasoning of cause and effect to discipline DS. He has a method of speaking really softly to DS, to the point of whispering and eventually calming DS down (most of the time).

I have learnt to let go as well and not nag at DH too much. I understand his need to bond with his son and frankly, I appreciate it.

But when it comes to extended family, I really cannot do much. Because despite their 'blindness', they love DS unconditionally and will go out of their way to help me whenever I need their help ie ferrying him to his classes etc ....

But I was really upset at that particular incident when they didn't contribute in terms of disciplining when he admitted to lying. Haiz, grandparents' role are to spoil their grandkids lah - you know, the good cops, bad cops analogy ......

:D :D
Last edited by autumnbronze on Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

autumnbronze
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Postby Vevey » Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:45 pm

I guess it will b difficult to convince the older generations to our viewpt but my stand to the kids is: "when u r w mommy, u know how u shld behave, & all of us will hv an enjoyable time." Else, I'll hv gone nuts long ago since being a SAHM 3.5yrs ago. :lol:

My parents hang out w us quite often & they do notice that the kids behave better w my stricter way, so they also follow my line of discipline. In fact, they r the ones who provide all the testimonials to convince DH to try out my method. At times, I'm like Super Nanny, coaching DH softly while he tried to contain DS2's tantrums (when he is sick of playing the good guy). 8)

But I'm cool if DH 1 2 continue b their playmate (or slave), as it does complement my style & gives the kids an outlet to horse ard within limits. :wink:

I guess as long as u had disciplined ur boy abt his white lies, it's ok.

Vevey
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Postby autumnbronze » Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:01 pm

Yup, thats what I tell my DS too - that just because he gets away with a lot over at the in-laws, it doesn't mean that he can get away with his antics at home.

Its good that your parents appreciate your efforts. I am constantly being hinted that I should 'give in' to avoid dealing with his tantrums :roll:

Hope I won't mellow down too much when I become a grandparent - if I live long enough lah .... :wink: :D

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