Son refuse to respond

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Son refuse to respond

Postby sumo22 » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:48 pm

hello all great parents out there..

I have a problem with my 4 yr old son who will turn 5 end of this year. He has the habit of ignoring or not answering/ responding to questions. This happen both at home & at school.

His kindergarden teacher has feedback to us he seems to be in his own world (read: dreaming) & don't do the things that he is told to do.

I'm not sure if anyone has a similar problem & can share your experience or provide any tips how we can correct this bad behaviour.

We have tried explaining to him that it is rude to ignore, or repeating our qns or request, all these doesn't work. Do we have to resort to caning or punishment? Pls Help!!!

sumo22
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Postby mintcc » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:42 pm

my 3 yr old also likes to ignore us when we are talking to him. But I think may be he is focusing on doing something or thinking about something? Some times, I will go mumy/daddy is talking to you, please answer. Prolong ignoring usually gets a tickle session from me....then I will get lots of respose. :wink: Will ask him the question again after he finish giggling.

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Re: Son refuse to respond

Postby lifestylelink » Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:43 pm

sumo22 wrote:hello all great parents out there..

I have a problem with my 4 yr old son who will turn 5 end of this year. He has the habit of ignoring or not answering/ responding to questions. This happen both at home & at school.

His kindergarden teacher has feedback to us he seems to be in his own world (read: dreaming) & don't do the things that he is told to do.

I'm not sure if anyone has a similar problem & can share your experience or provide any tips how we can correct this bad behaviour.

We have tried explaining to him that it is rude to ignore, or repeating our qns or request, all these doesn't work. Do we have to resort to caning or punishment? Pls Help!!!


You may have an introvert son. Introverts usually are in a world of their own and they take time to respond. You need to give them ample time to process the question and then reply to you. They are not dreaming, just in deep thoughts. My hubby is like that. Sometime I ask him question, no respond. Suddenly half a day or few days later, he blah out something which I don't understand. Then when I ask him, he told me it is an answer to my earlier question. So I told him, next time, please respond with "I need time to think about that". And it works well so far.

lifestylelink
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Postby sumo22 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:24 pm

That's my worse fear that my son is an introvert as I notice he seldom mix with his classmates too. Are there any tips how I can help him become more of an extrovert?

sumo22
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Postby Lucky » Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:31 pm

hi Sumo22

You can try to enrol him into speech and drama courses which builds up childrens' confidence level.

Also give him lots of praises and encouragement when he managed to speak up or respond. That would boost his morale and he will surely improve in terms of communication.

Lucky
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Postby sumo22 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:44 pm

Hi Lucky,

Thanks for your suggestion. I have been thinking of enrolling him in Speech & Drama but his kindergarten already has a 1hr S&D held in class every week. Would I over-do it if I enrol him for another S&D?

rgds..

sumo22
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Postby buds » Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:52 pm

mincy wrote:my 3 yr old also likes to ignore us when we are talking to him. But I think may be he is focusing on doing something or thinking about something? Some times, I will go mumy/daddy is talking to you, please answer. Prolong ignoring usually gets a tickle session from me....then I will get lots of respose. :wink: Will ask him the question again after he finish giggling.


Heyya sumo22,
I initiate attention like how Mincy does it, and so far it works.
And no stress at that too! Oh dearie me, hope no caning, yeah. :wink:
Try spending more time to interact with your child, take em' out for
cycling or visits to the playground and stuff. Fun outings. And also
since the school has Speech and Drama, that shud oredi be enuf.

Acknowledge the times when he DOES respond and not so much on
the times he doesn't. They're children, they can use a little nudge at
times, ya.. after all, don't they say laughter is the best medicine? :D

PS - During delivery of instruction with children, best to be at child's
eye level and eye contact.

buds
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Fear not

Postby lifestylelink » Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:13 pm

sumo22 wrote:That's my worse fear that my son is an introvert as I notice he seldom mix with his classmates too. Are there any tips how I can help him become more of an extrovert?


Dear Sumo22,
There is nothing wrong of being an introvert, it is his natural inclination. However, you can coach him to be more sociable. The worst nightmare to a child is when parents try to make them into something they are not naturally incline to be. For example, a left handed child being punished for writing using left hand etc.... There is absolutely nothing wrong if his natural preference is an introvert or left handed. :celebrate:

You just need to learn to work with them. Love them all the same, don't make them feel like a loser or why god is so unfair to them.

I have some notes on that but I don't have it handy. I'll try to look for it. In the meantime, please don't stress your child or yourself.

:wink:

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Postby csc » Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:49 pm

I would say that I am more of an introvert by nature. You will never find me responding in class or raise my hands for anything. It's best to leave me alone and don't call on me, please. :pray:

I will be tongue-tied when asked to make an impromptu speech. That was me , in my schooling days - think it lasted till university days.

But guess what? I started to change due to the nature of my previous job which left me with no choice but to speak most of the time, in front of a group. Gradually, I became more open and responsive and now , I'm not afraid to speak up in a group, when the occasion calls for it. In fact, peope who know me now would not have believed what I was like in my schooling days. :shock:

So people do change ,given the training and opportunities. But, given a choice, i would still love to stay in the background - it's still my natural inclination. I enjoy solitude more than company sometimes.

Sumo22,

You need to accept your child as he is but give him opportunities to socialise and to open up. Speech & drama is definitely helpful. With your encouragement, I'm sure he will bloom over time. :D

csc
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Postby lifestylelink » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:13 am

csc wrote:I would say that I am more of an introvert by nature.

I will be tongue-tied when asked to make an impromptu speech. That was me , in my schooling days - think it lasted till university days.

But guess what? I started to change due to the nature of my previous job which left me with no choice but to speak most of the time, in front of a group.

So people do change ,given the training and opportunities. But, given a choice, i would still love to stay in the background - it's still my natural inclination. I enjoy solitude more than company sometimes.


This is an extremely good example of how an introvert given time and training, became more sociable. csc, I hope you like your job.

Sumo22, I have added a summary on MBTI onmy blog which explains how learning personality types might help you work with your child. All the best and remember to come back and tell us how it works out. :D

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