When to let your child be independent?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

When to let your child be independent?

Postby flyfree » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:18 pm

Dear parents

When is the appropriate age to let child to be more independent, less dependent on others ? How to train them?

flyfree
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby Nebbermind » Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:30 am

flyfree wrote:Dear parents

When is the appropriate age to let child to be more independent, less dependent on others ? How to train them?

In what aspect? I still depend on my parents for childcare!!

Nebbermind
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby jtoh » Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:56 am

flyfree wrote:Dear parents

When is the appropriate age to let child to be more independent, less dependent on others ? How to train them?


In what way? Feed himself? Go potty? Take public transport? Open a bank account?

jtoh
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby kiddo » Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:14 pm

jtoh wrote:
flyfree wrote:Dear parents

When is the appropriate age to let child to be more independent, less dependent on others ? How to train them?


In what way? Feed himself? Go potty? Take public transport? Open a bank account?


Depends very much on the temperament of the child......

Feed himself? --- as young as possible, hold his own bottle
if he can...I let DS mess up so he learn to fed himself , part
hand eye co-ordination training-- good for the child and definitely
develope independent and self confident

Go potty?- can sit without falling over

Take public transport?- if you think he is sensible and know what to do if he is lost -- I do a trial run with him and tell him the safety aspect ,
crossing of roads (no if possible) and stranger

Open a bank account -- he can read the numbers and understand a little
the concept of saving

:please: :hugs: :hi5: Happy parenting

kiddo
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby laughingcat » Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:47 pm

Depend very much on the maturity of your child. You can start off by telling the child the importance of being independent. Cite example. Show to your child. Contantly telling the child the importance of being independent.

DS1 is mature in EQ as compared to his cousins as of his age. At 4yrs and 6 mths old, we get him to buy McDonald dinner for the family. Walking distance from home to McDonald is about 10mins walk. We hide from behind to make sure that he is safe. :lol:

However when come to sleeping alone. DS1 will from time to time cry for company. :oops:

laughingcat
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby davidchatman » Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:00 pm

When you feel that he/she has matured and have their own view on all sort of things you can let them independent.

davidchatman
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby nightlone » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:06 pm

At any time really... As long as he can do it, then just let him do it. Don't bother too much about if he's doing it right or wrong or messiness..

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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby 33mama » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:10 pm

I had the same burning question as flyfree... a bit more specific though... When do you start letting the child take public bus to and from school? Have own house keys, come back alone at home?

33mama
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby nightlone » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:34 pm

i think it's ok from primary one. But i feel that it depends on how the child was brought up. if he was not taught to look after himself, then it'll be tricky. For me, I just started work and he's 5. I trained him to turn on the light and fan in the room. Take out his math to do. Ask for help from his cousin or grandma, when he needs it. I don't want him to be reliant on his grandma.
But I was lucky to be with him when he was young, so in that time, i taught him to be independent as well. Like go to the toilet by himself. Tell the time on the watch. Take snacks from the counter or the fridge. play by himself. Put dirty laundry in the basket. Put the shoes in the corner. Button/Unbutton his pyjamas. i always tell him though to ask an adult when he needs help. So i think it's not a foreign concept when i told him that I'll be going to work and so he needs to learn to do some stuff on his own.
I intend to take the bus with him to school or walk if it's nearby for a couple of weeks. Then wait in the distance to watch him (walk). Or wait at the bus stop to meet him. Progressing to him going home by himself. Just take baby steps.
Set an expectation. For example, he should be home at a certain time.
Also tell him that trust must be earned.
For example, once he asked to play at the playground before going to a lesson. He promised that he would concentrate and won't be tired in class. So i said ok, but if you cannot do it, then i cannot allow it anymore.
Sure enough, he was tired and couldn't concentrate.
I didn't say anything. Didn't scold him.
The next time, he asked again.
I told him that I'm sorry but remember the last time?
Then he understood and didn't try to ask again.

nightlone
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Re: When to let your child be independent?

Postby Neosan60 » Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:07 pm

around 10 years old i allowed my DS to go downstairs to buy food, actually main concern is road safety. and always let them bring their hp down with them so we can contact and know where they are.

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