Why are social skills important for life, not just school?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Why are social skills important for life, not just school?

Postby lizziewine » Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:31 pm

Hi - just musing to myself why is it that many parents are willing to put their children through all sorts of enrichments and classes for everything else except social skills or character development help? It's true these things start at home, but sometimes I believe it's really much needed looking at the social skills children have nowadays .. for example, schoolkids just entering a lift and asking someone to help press the lift button, no common courtesy of any 'please' or 'thank you' in doing so .. almost as if, it's their birthright to demand things of people and society ... and this is the way children are 'okay' to be? What then when they leave school? What happens then? Do we as parents wait for the world out there to 'teach them' these foundational skills the hard way instead? Why are we kiasu about other things except those that we know intrinsically that will go a long way for our children BEYOND their schooling days? ... I for one know that it's true that better mannered children/youths get paid more attention in school because the teachers/lecturers find it a greater joy to respond to their willingness to learn and be better individuals ...what to do with our own kids today?

lizziewine
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:22 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby tankee » Mon Aug 08, 2011 4:14 pm

aren't social skills supposed to be taught at home by the parents? :?

tankee
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17790
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:04 pm
Location: Singapore
Total Likes: 18


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby MadScientist » Mon Aug 08, 2011 4:44 pm

tankee wrote:aren't social skills supposed to be taught at home by the parents? :?


That's where is really should start... Thing is, many parent are in apt themselves.

MadScientist
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:26 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby jedamum » Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:51 pm

how can parents be sure that the 'enrichment school' that teach social skills are not just trying to 'smoke' around? to want to teach social skills, one must have vested interest in the outcome of the 'student's behaviour'. parents have vested interest as these are their children. do such commercial schools have vested interest and how to measure the KPI for attending such courses? to want to measure such 'performance' is so fake!
i will be rather skeptical if there are commercial schools advertising to teach social skills; to me, they are just out to milk the parents.
another hard truth is that while better mannered students may gain more attention in school, it does not matter when they enter the society. how often have you heard complaints about bosses/superiors having lack of empathy or/and are scheming? in a dog-eat-dog world, sometimes nice people turn nasty during work. good guys finish last.
you will be surprise that 'birds of the same feathers flock together'; if your kid is well mannered, the friends surrounding him will probably be so too.
courtesy starts at home!

jedamum
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 8519
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:58 pm
Total Likes: 20


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby lizziewine » Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:22 pm

What if parents do not have the time enough to invest in the child to teach the necc social and life skills? many families are today dual-income earning ... What else can be done? I'm still concerned on how our kids will fare beyond schooling years and isn't a foundation built now important than to wait in the later years to address this? ...it's funny to me how many parents are seeing the virtues of academic driven courses/help/tuition but when it comes to social/life and emotion handling skills, they are regarded as still 'nice to have' and not necessary. I do also hope we do not have our kids keep encountering people who make us believe in the long run that being nice doesn't get us anywhere, esp in our working world and society ... doesn't pose much help if hope isn't in our hearts... :smile: ... i think the person teaching life and social skills must really want to care about the kids and not come across as just 'milking' the parents ... i still believe there are real people out there who cares truly about our kids - just gotta find them ...

lizziewine
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:22 pm
Total Likes: 0



Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby tankee » Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:39 pm

how can any 1-2 hrs class perhaps once or twice a week do wonders on social skills? I'm sure any kid will spend more than 4 hrs a week with their parents.

work is no excuse for any working parents to not to have time for their children. if really, so then don't have any in the first place. Our children are our responsibilities, not our parents, and definitely not some outsourced vendors.

tankee
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17790
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:04 pm
Location: Singapore
Total Likes: 18


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby Kigg » Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:05 pm

No time is definitely an excuse. It can be as simple as the please and 10q at home, when parents converse or ask their child to help out or showing the child how to treat the maid with respect. Such as parents putting down their phone and give their child 100% attention, than sms-ing and talking their child at the same time... Or when eating out, just saying 10q to the auntie who comes around and helps to clear your table at food courts and so forth... there so many little things which are easily forgotten...

Kigg
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:31 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby MadScientist » Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:55 pm

That's why parents should always check themselves first... If standard is low, then standard achieved is low.
Learning to unlearn and relearn is essential as a parent, and the first priority. If we think we are great and all else are below us, then we will not improve. Children do not have a good hero then...
Children grow up like their heroes... They are a true reflection of their parents.

MadScientist
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:26 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby kiddo » Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:07 pm

tankee wrote:how can any 1-2 hrs class perhaps once or twice a week do wonders on social skills? I'm sure any kid will spend more than 4 hrs a week with their parents.

work is no excuse for any working parents to not to have time for their children. if really, so then don't have any in the first place. Our children are our responsibilities, not our parents, and definitely not some outsourced vendors.


social skills definitely Parents responsiblility....
we are their first teacher the day they are born even more so
as they grow .........if we as parents donno dont teach
who will do better .......better we improve ourself then they
will emulate :sweat: :smile:

kiddo
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1475
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:36 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Why are social skills important for life, not just schoo

Postby jedamum » Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:32 pm

lizziewine wrote:I do also hope we do not have our kids keep encountering people who make us believe in the long run that being nice doesn't get us anywhere, esp in our working world and society ... doesn't pose much help if hope isn't in our hearts... :smile: ....

i want to bring my kids up to be a genuine person, but to also be one who does not get taken advantage of easily. not easy to do so because there are all sorts of people out there in the world. but then again, whether one is being taken advantage of, it depends on whether that person perceived that unfortunate event to be one or just merely felt that it is pure bad luck. do i make sense to you? :oops:
lizziewine wrote:i still believe there are real people out there who cares truly about our kids - just gotta find them ...

i too believe that there are such people. i encountered them in the form of school teachers and even enrichment centres teachers. :dancing:
but to send them to a school that specialises in teaching 'social behaviour', i will be skeptical whether the teacher are genuinely concerned or only delivering their programme.

jedamum
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 8519
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:58 pm
Total Likes: 20


Next

Return to Working With Your Child