Child - Teacher not getting along

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Child - Teacher not getting along

Postby ramgee » Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:29 am

My DS is in P2, a bright child who is curious. His handwriting has gone from bad to worse of late. Elderly class teacher is quite strict and finds him rushing to finish the work, rather than worry about completion and neatness. I agree with her to a large extent and have been working with DS on improving handwriting and reviewing his work.
DS also likes to throw his worksheets into the bag while rushing back home, instead of placing them in his file. The crumpled sheets look bad. He admitted that he submits them in the middle of the pile so that the teacher doesn't scold him.
I am confused on how to motivate him to be "neat" with his work. The worsing relationship with his class teacher is not helping.
Yesterday, he came home with a note that his was whistling in class. He can't whistle yet. And he is certainly not insolent. He tells me he was practising his blow tune from the brass band in the morning, in his music class - when the teacher was teaching music. The form teacher also handled him from P1, he was a class topper last year.
I am at a loss on how to fix this relationship. Ideas please!

ramgee
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Re: Child - Teacher not getting along

Postby kiddo » Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:40 pm

Sound like a very clever child to me- your DS ,
better make sure the strict teacher do not stifle his creativity
over time.
A Teacher- Child fit temperament is important for children too
during their learning years.

You are doing something to help DS with his writing and
discipline, the teacher also need to back off a little and give
DS room, but then with a class of 30-40, teacher
hard press too to give individualise attention, a catch -22.

You need to monitor the situation closely, if you think DS is sliding.
Do something,
I am not sure will changing class help in this case, hopefully the next teacher
is not worse than this one? Hope this suggestion is not too
far fetch for you. Actually it depend very much on your child- whether
he can weather the strict teaching.
Some school do not encourage this as they will be opening a flood gate'
Maybe you can talk to someone -a teacher or principal in the school about your concern.

If your DS does not look bothered by her , think it not alarming then.

to share my own experience :
MY DS is in P5 then - the tuition teacher in the after-school care seem to
wield very strict regime on the children, Over The Top-- until DS came
home one day crying badly. I ask him if he wanted to change centre,
he said no because he like the auntie and friends he have in the centre,
so he stay put. He weathered the Principal strict dealing, I monitor it
and get DH to talk to her. I took it as as training for DS character
to take hard knock.
Because he know his parents support him wholeheartedly,
I think it took the burden off him a bit , he know he have a fall back.
P5 is a little older. -your DS is P2 - still very young.

Just a side note- your DS look like better to be
home-school - why I said that is because DS just
go off tangent in a strict environment.
and need to fit his individualise style of learning to flourish.
Individualise home school try to suit child style but also need discipline
from Parent and child but a little more flexible to suit child temperament
but then it may not fit your family lifestyle.Just a thot.

Hope this help?

kiddo
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Re: Child - Teacher not getting along

Postby jedamum » Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:08 am

if there is no problem with the way the teacher treats students, but only having problem with the 'chemistry' between teacher and student, the first thing that you can do is to change your kid's mindset.
my kid's P1/P2 form teacher is very lenient; i get crappy handwriting from him.
his P3 form teacher is stern; for the first time, i get nice handwriting; but as school term progresses and the kid get less scared of the teacher, i get crappy handwriting again. (my kid usually has problem adjusting to school for the first few weeks in a year.)
when my kid was streamed into different CL class in P1, he was very stressed. Stern teacher, strict class rules. So scared. Tearing at night at the thought of CL lessons the next day. Later on in the year, get familiar, i get crappy handwriting again.
In his coming 3 yrs, he faced different type of teachers, some authoritative, some bad, be it temp or perm teachers. I did step in to 'mediate' once, but regretted my actions. There is always a side of the story that the kid has not told you that make misunderstandings worse.
Once, he got scolded for making noise when it was actually his partner. When he tried to explain, the teacher told him to shut up.
Once, he got scolded by bus driver for playing with the bus bell; i knew he did not cos i was standing right beside him!
Time and again, i told him that if he had done nothing wrong, he should clarify. It is his bad luck otherwise and he should just move on.
If relationship with the teacher cannot be repaired, maybe you can get your kid to understand to accept a neutral relationship and seek his motivation from somewhere else (another teacher etc) in school. that however depends on your kid's temperament and/or maturity in understanding that so long he works within acceptable boundaries (ie if i feel that my boy's messiness/rowdiness is acceptable, i will close an eye to notes that his teacher said to be otherwise), he cannot expect everyone to like him.
jmho.
ps: neatness in crumpled paper...you may want to get him a file to file his worksheets. get those type of plastic file where you don't have to take out of the bag to put in the worksheet ie you can slot the worksheet straight into the file even though the file is in the bag. the file has 2 'open side slots' instead of 1 'open side slot' as in typical files....hope you get what i mean.
good luck. :)

jedamum
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Re: Child - Teacher not getting along

Postby ramgee » Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:22 pm

Jedamum & Kiddo, thank you so much for taking your time to reply to this. You have given me some good ideas to work with my child. Will have a talk with him over the weekend and also try to monitor closely and hope things tide over for this year.. Fingers crossed about teacher next year..

Thanks again!

ramgee
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Re: Child - Teacher not getting along

Postby pancake77 » Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:02 pm

ramgee wrote:My DS is in P2, a bright child who is curious. His handwriting has gone from bad to worse of late. Elderly class teacher is quite strict and finds him rushing to finish the work, rather than worry about completion and neatness. I agree with her to a large extent and have been working with DS on improving handwriting and reviewing his work.
DS also likes to throw his worksheets into the bag while rushing back home, instead of placing them in his file. The crumpled sheets look bad. He admitted that he submits them in the middle of the pile so that the teacher doesn't scold him.
I am confused on how to motivate him to be "neat" with his work. The worsing relationship with his class teacher is not helping.
Yesterday, he came home with a note that his was whistling in class. He can't whistle yet. And he is certainly not insolent. He tells me he was practising his blow tune from the brass band in the morning, in his music class - when the teacher was teaching music. The form teacher also handled him from P1, he was a class topper last year.
I am at a loss on how to fix this relationship. Ideas please!



My child is also not well liked by his teacher because my child doesn't follow instruction closely and do the reverse just to experiment what the outcome is. For example, if the teacher asks him to walk faster, my child will playfully walk slowly and asks the teacher "what happen if I walk slowly" His curiousity is mistaken as rebellious :slapshead:

pancake77
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Re: Child - Teacher not getting along

Postby kiddo » Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:05 pm

pancake77 wrote:
ramgee wrote:My DS is in P2, a bright child who is curious. His handwriting has gone from bad to worse of late. Elderly class teacher is quite strict and finds him rushing to finish the work, rather than worry about completion and neatness. I agree with her to a large extent and have been working with DS on improving handwriting and reviewing his work.
DS also likes to throw his worksheets into the bag while rushing back home, instead of placing them in his file. The crumpled sheets look bad. He admitted that he submits them in the middle of the pile so that the teacher doesn't scold him.
I am confused on how to motivate him to be "neat" with his work. The worsing relationship with his class teacher is not helping.
Yesterday, he came home with a note that his was whistling in class. He can't whistle yet. And he is certainly not insolent. He tells me he was practising his blow tune from the brass band in the morning, in his music class - when the teacher was teaching music. The form teacher also handled him from P1, he was a class topper last year.
I am at a loss on how to fix this relationship. Ideas please!



My child is also not well liked by his teacher because my child doesn't follow instruction closely and do the reverse just to experiment what the outcome is. For example, if the teacher asks him to walk faster, my child will playfully walk slowly and asks the teacher "what happen if I walk slowly" His curiousity is mistaken as rebellious :slapshead:


Rebellious or young innocent creativity..... :please:
freedom of action with no underlining intention :hi5:


This is exactly why the principal in the after -school care
make my son stand there for 1 hour force to say sorry for something
he had not done,so she can "break" his conviction of a
mind of his own.

Our system sometime stifle the creativity in young children
too early, those that do not conform got fit into the mould
unfortunately and maybe not intentionally,I see it due to our
lack of resources in many areas and the need to have the fittest
to survive.......so parents have to facilitate if they see their child
not getting the best from school/education.
But then you will ask me with limited in resources even within
the familly unit, :scratchhead:
---we just need to know ourself first then our child
needs- then we will be on the route to a holistic education for our
children.
Each parent will know as they grow with their young ones :hi5:

Happy parenting :hugs: :snuggles:

kiddo
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