R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parties?

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R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parties?

Postby jnj0910 » Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:28 pm

Hi,

found out from friends with kids as young as preschool, that the new norm for birthday celebrations is quite "atas".

was told that it is expected for a child to celebrate his/her birthday in school with classmates, and apart from the usual birthday cake ( which cannot be just one tier), must also have party packs, which must contain enough "goodies" of sufficient "standard"!

And if a birthday is celebrated outside of school, a party venue complete with entertainment eg performer, games by external vendor, etc, is also expected.

When I expressed that I do not wish my child to conform to such "elitist" behaviour, and that they should not make or choose friends based on exclusive activities like this... friends ( and even hubby agrees ... ) tell me to " wake up my idea" if I do not wish my children to be "outcast" by their peers.
Was advised that I have to conform for my kids to fit in with their peers, as
all kids at whatever ages, sooner/later, will have to grapple with peer pressure etc etc..

Basically , that time has changed.... new norms to be adopted for one to fit in...

Wish to take a poll... surely I am not the only one who thinks that it is not ok to inculcate what seems like materialistic values with these excessive practice from preschool age?

jnj0910
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby UncleLim » Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:37 pm

I agree with you where the values are concerned, but they outgrow this kind of "partying" when they are older. In fact, my kids are happy to have quiet celebrations at home with nothing more than a simple cake now.

UncleLim
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby jedamum » Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:47 pm

jnj0910 wrote:Hi,

found out from friends with kids as young as preschool, that the new norm for birthday celebrations is quite "atas".

was told that it is expected for a child to celebrate his/her birthday in school with classmates, and apart from the usual birthday cake ( which cannot be just one tier), must also have party packs, which must contain enough "goodies" of sufficient "standard"!

And if a birthday is celebrated outside of school, a party venue complete with entertainment eg performer, games by external vendor, etc, is also expected.

When I expressed that I do not wish my child to conform to such "elitist" behaviour, and that they should not make or choose friends based on exclusive activities like this... friends ( and even hubby agrees ... ) tell me to " wake up my idea" if I do not wish my children to be "outcast" by their peers.
Was advised that I have to conform for my kids to fit in with their peers, as
all kids at whatever ages, sooner/later, will have to grapple with peer pressure etc etc..

Basically , that time has changed.... new norms to be adopted for one to fit in...

Wish to take a poll... surely I am not the only one who thinks that it is not ok to inculcate what seems like materialistic values with these excessive practice from preschool age?

it is the norm...depending on your circle of friends and the brand of preschool that your kid attends. one of my kid (ds1) attended pcf. one attends a church kindergarten. although there is no 'mandatory' birthday celebration protocol (or at least i am not bothered to find out cos i have no wish to celebrate his birthday in school), the quality of 'goodie' bag is different from my ds1's preschool.
i don't like to fit in for the wrong reasons and prefer to stand out for the right.
maybe it is time for you to change friends?

jedamum
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby Guest » Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:29 pm

I agree with jedamum, everyone finds joy differently...no need to try so hard to be the same, just stay with like-minded people and life would be much happier and easier.
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby Jennifer » Thu Aug 25, 2011 8:25 am

My elder boy is 14 yo this year. The number of elaborated birthday celebrations can be counted using 5 fingers. No issue with what types of friends he has now.

Ignore the peer pressures of posh birthday celebrations.

Jennifer
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby Chenonceau » Thu Aug 25, 2011 8:44 am

I hang out often with people who splurge on branded stuff... I got dragged along to a shopping trip in KL where everyone else bought Jimmy Choos. I was the only one who didn't. We've just been invited to the Ritz Carlton for a kid's b'day celebration (1 yr old). I am not keen on going because I have to dress up. But my friend is very insistent that I share in her joy. As usual, I will turn up in my non-branded clothes and the next time I throw a party, it won't be at the Ritz Carlton.

If your friend is a true friend, you dun have to be like them for them to accept you. If I gotta look rich so that you'll be my friend then it's ok, I dun need your friendship. Most people are decent enough not to mind what I wear and where I throw my parties so many are still my friends. All I gotta do is be happy with them when they thrill at their beautiful bags and shoes... and share in the happy events of their lives... and they dun mind me at all.

Chenonceau
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby babystickyfingers » Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:33 pm

well said Chenonceau

babystickyfingers
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby UncleLim » Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:27 pm

Glad to hear down-to-earth parents talk. I personally believe moderation is best. Don't have to go overboard spending on your kids, unless you have something to prove or trying to compensate for not spending enough time with them.

UncleLim
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby wan2bdad » Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:51 pm

yes, I agree with you guys here.. but my parents (grand parents of my kid) want to throw him a grand party.. since he is with my folks since birth.. headache abt this issue..

wan2bdad
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Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby hquek » Thu Aug 25, 2011 4:00 pm

I didn't throw parties for my kid (celebrations at kindy not counted) becos at that tender age, they don't have friends. We celebrated with a nice dinner somewhere.

BUT if my parents were to insist on a grand-do, they can organise, plan and execute it themselves. I can show face...but nothing else.

hquek
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