How do we teach our children self-control on junk food..etc

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby jnj0910 » Thu Aug 25, 2011 5:54 pm

Chenonceau wrote:
wan2bdad wrote:yes, I agree with you guys here.. but my parents (grand parents of my kid) want to throw him a grand party.. since he is with my folks since birth.. headache abt this issue..


Ummmm... it may be wise (I'm not sure) to take the opportunity to explain gently and firmly to your parents your stand. Both sets of grandparents of my kids were made to understand that I (and my husband) have the final say when it comes to the kids. If the line is not drawn clearly early, you will run into a lotta problems when your child becomes older (and more conscious).

If I say "no party" I mean it. If I say "no junk food in my house", there is no junk food... and if my kids have junk food at Grandma's house, they will get it from me... and Grandma too will be informed of the punishment, and made to understand that she was the one who caused the event.


How do you control their exposure to junk food outside eg at friends' house, parties, or simply hanging out with frens after school?
And til what age?
Again the concern is that of not being too "different".
If her classmates want to go to MacDonalds after school, should she tag along and drink plain water? if just go along and "fit in" or at least not be too different?

jnj0910
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:46 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby Nebbermind » Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:01 pm

jnj0910 wrote:
How do you control their exposure to junk food outside eg at friends' house, parties, or simply hanging out with frens after school?
And til what age?
Again the concern is that of not being too "different".
If her classmates want to go to MacDonalds after school, should she tag along and drink plain water? if just go along and "fit in" or at least not be too different?


gee...u mean u donch allow your kids to take fried chicken, pizza, burgers??!! :yikes:

Nebbermind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 14663
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:40 am
Total Likes: 148


Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby jnj0910 » Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:06 pm

Nebbermind wrote:
jnj0910 wrote:
How do you control their exposure to junk food outside eg at friends' house, parties, or simply hanging out with frens after school?
And til what age?
Again the concern is that of not being too "different".
If her classmates want to go to MacDonalds after school, should she tag along and drink plain water? if just go along and "fit in" or at least not be too different?


gee...u mean u donch allow your kids to take fried chicken, pizza, burgers??!! :yikes:


No no, at least not yet
I was asking Chenonceau wrt to her post ...

jnj0910
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:46 pm
Total Likes: 0


How do we teach our children self-control on junk food..etc

Postby Chenonceau » Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:01 pm

jnj0910 wrote:How do you control their exposure to junk food outside eg at friends' house, parties, or simply hanging out with frens after school?
And til what age?
Again the concern is that of not being too "different".
If her classmates want to go to MacDonalds after school, should she tag along and drink plain water? if just go along and "fit in" or at least not be too different?


Before a child gets exposure to food outside the home, his/her tastebuds are trained at home. When they are little, I make sure these foods are taboo. But I also make sure that as they get older, AFTER I have educated their palate, they get a taste of such things. We DO order pizza in... and we DO go out to McDonald's as a family, but the kids know that it isn't good food... and they can taste it.

I spent many years in France and the French are proud of their food traditions. Burgers, fries and all such are considered food for a palate that is not adequately educated at home. I know this sounds so snobbish and I apologise. But even in French farm houses... and families of truck drivers... and plumbers... good food made from the produce of the season are prized. I somehow assimilated this aspect of the French culture. The people who know where to eat good food are French truck drivers and they don't mind spending to indulge their palate.

From the time my children were babies, I tried to educate their palate. I would hold a slice of lemon to my 6 month old's tongue and nose... let them mouth small bits of strawberries... Later, I allowed them to taste different kinds of butter, olive oil... Analyze the chicken rice from different stalls. Deconstruct the shui jiao's taste. Taste the difference between different kinds of rice. Food analysis can be a marvellous bonding activity.

For the end of year class party last year, my son demanded that I make a ham, mushroom and oregano quiche. In the end, he was the only one to eat it because the other kids wanted to eat potato chips and jelly sweets. My son came home and said "My friends dunno how to eat properly, Mommy".

I have no potato chips at home... no sweets... no soft drinks. We have lots of chocolate, but they're all Grand Crus. This was not my doing. My daughter went and developed her own palate for chocolate in early teens. When they were little, I was very strict about junk food. As they get older, I pull back, because learning how to differentiate good from bad food requires exposure to bad food too.

My son's tutor wanted to feed him French fries for lunch one day, and she was so surprised when he refused to eat any, and he took a filet o' fish only. It helped that he watched the documentary on McDonald's with me. And he consistently refuses her offers of packet sweet drinks, preferring plain water. I sometimes pack frozen Ribena on outings only to find that my son wants plain water. His palate is not just used to it.

It's really a lot like moral education, I guess. One should start early to talk about BGR, sex, money etc... and not wait till teens. When faced with an external stimuli (like junk food) without prior preparation, no child can resist. When faced with sexual temptation in the teens, without adequate preparation, no teen can resist.

Children need to be taught to discern good and bad. To teach them, we need to expose them to both good and bad, under supervision and early enough so that we can protect and guide them gently. Palate education can start from 6 months. The Chinese have long standing food traditions. We have hawker food that are an orchestra of tastes. A lot of good food doesn't cost much... and when we cook at home, it's even cheaper.

There are some days when I make raw food smoothies and toast nuts for dinner just to cleanse their palate. Once in a while my daughter will request for this cleansing meal on her own.

This said... there is some danger of food allergies with babies. The normal precautions with peanuts, egg etc... need to be taken. And exposure limited to one lick of a food perhaps twice a week or so. This also gets baby used to different tastes and maybe help them accept foods easily in toddlerhood. But still must be careful of allergies.
Last edited by Chenonceau on Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Chenonceau
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 4872
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:57 pm
Total Likes: 19


Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby Chenonceau » Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:18 pm

When DD was 15, we took her to Paulaner Brauhaus to taste beer... and explore its effects on her. She decided she didn't like it... and she didn't like being drunk. This prepares her for occasions where her friends may tell her that she needs to drink alcohol to be grown-up. She can tell them that she has been there and done that and it's no big deal.

Chenonceau
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 4872
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:57 pm
Total Likes: 19



Re: R we spoiling our kids by fancy preschool birthday parti

Postby RRMummy » Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:24 am

Chenonceau wrote:When DD was 15, we took her to Paulaner Brauhaus to taste beer... and explore its effects on her. She decided she didn't like it... and she didn't like being drunk. This prepares her for occasions where her friends may tell her that she needs to drink alcohol to be grown-up. She can tell them that she has been there and done that and it's no big deal.


Thanks for the idea!! :celebrate:

RRMummy
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 4931
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:06 pm
Total Likes: 9


Re: How do we teach our children self-control on junk food..

Postby tigger88 » Mon Sep 12, 2011 4:45 pm

My kids are pre-schoolers. I try to control their junk food intake as much as possible. I do not buy junk food home and do not eat junk food myself. We seldom eat pizza and fast food. If we do, I will limit the number of french fries they eat. I tell them maximum can eat 5 fries each.

My kids are not overly excited about eating junk food anyway. If someone offers them chocolate, fries etc, they will reject and reply that eat already will get sick. :wink:

I always psycho them that eating junk food will make them sick, cough etc. When they receive goody bags from sch, they will either distribute all the sweets, chocolate etc to their friends or pass the bags to me to sort out the food (I will usually keep the sweets, chocolate etc away).

I do hope my kids will continue their self control over junk food when they starts their pri sch education.

tigger88
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1744
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:51 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: How do we teach our children self-control on junk food..

Postby Chenonceau » Mon Sep 12, 2011 5:49 pm

After age 12, they eat what they like. My son thought it was unfair when at the same dining table, I said nothing when DD asked for Coke but he was not allowed any. I simply explained that when he turned 12, he could choose what he ate and drank too. After 1 or 2 coke orders DD decided that Coke was no big deal and thenceforth asked for plain water. Her palate was not used to it.

12 made sense to me because it coincided with independent trips out with friends to eat and all that. The kids can only afford fast food anyways so it did not make sense to make a fuss about McDonald's and such. Some things you gotta do to be sociable. Like I don't much like beer (fattening) but if everyone is taking a beer, I'll knock back one too. So I guess the kids do need that leeway to do stuff with their friends that the friends like but they themselves don't especially love. It's a big thing to go out with friends to eat when you're 12 or so.

So cute right?

Chenonceau
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 4872
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:57 pm
Total Likes: 19


Re: How do we teach our children self-control on junk food..

Postby Oppsgal » Mon Sep 12, 2011 8:58 pm

At home, once a while weekends we have snack- seaweed, potato chips...

Guess my kid, 2 years old already a junk food eater. :oops:

Sometimes I wonder should we control ourselves and don't eat any of the junk food infront of my kid.

But weekends are relaxing time, so eat junk food.

Oppsgal
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1776
Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 4:24 pm
Total Likes: 1


Re: How do we teach our children self-control on junk food..

Postby beanbear » Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:48 pm

Self-control needs to be learnt. I struggled lot with food choices in my adult life because my mum was very indulgent about sweet food and junk food - she's not a good role model because she would skip meals just to eat lots of desserts. I didn't learn any self-control or the bad consequences of over-indulging in certain types of food eg digestive problems, illness, obesity. Middle age caught up and in the last few years, I suffered from health issues. I managed to correct these issues when I sought help from a Nutritionist and Naturopath and researched into the relationship between food and physical & emotional health.

With my new-found knowledge, I taught my kids about food choices and its consequences. We watch "Biggest Loser" show together and during the show, I explain to them how these obese people use food as a source of comfort or medication. Of course, I simplify some of these ideas but the main idea is that when we over-indulge, it's a sign that we are spiralling into loss of control and the consequence is poor health, obesity, poor self-esteem.

I'm careful not to have my kids feel that there are "forbidden" foods because it's human nature to become more tempted about what is a "forbidden fruit" and the child will seek to gratify in secret what is forbidden. I encourage my kids to eat so-called junk food in front of me. What I set limits on is Quantity & Frequency. I re-label junk food by calling them "Sometimes" food. Healthy foods are labelled as "Everyday" food. This was something I learnt from a friend. For eg, vegetables and fruits are "everyday" food and you can eat large quantities. For eg, ice-cream is a "sometimes" food and the frequency is maximum one scoop, once a week. Do I break this limitation - yes, on occasion, kids can have 2 scoops eg if we eat at restaurants or there's a party which is probably once in a few months.

I have chips in the house and my kids know where they are. I teach them self-control by setting limits on Quantity & Frequency. I buy the very small packs and they are allowed to have one small pack maximum once a week. There are consequences for over-indulgence for eg if they ate more than the allowed quantity they are not allowed to eat next week. Because of the system I have in place, I've no fear of my children not being able to control themselves. All chips, sweets, ice-cream are within their reach. There's no need for lock and key or hiding. Temptations are everywhere. True self-control comes when you can stare at temptation in the face and exercise choice. That's what I try to empower my kids with. Hence, at school, even if I'm not in school, my kids know what choices they can make with their pocket money. Of course my kids have given into temptation and when I find out, we turn it into an learning conversation. It's a lot of reinforcement and learning about what exercising choice really means.

I also try to cook home-made alternatives to traditional junk food. For eg, many kids like to eat chicken nuggets, mine included. I found Jessica Seinfeld's book "Deceptively Delicious" a wonderful cookbook that ensures proper nutrients are included into these "junk food". For eg the chicken nuggets will have pureed vegetables and flaxseed meal inside. I had a birthday party for my daughter last saturday and made these home-made nuggets with home-made fries. My own kids and my daughter's friends loved them and even commented that they were better than Mac-Donald's!! I'm a believer that children's palate can be trained if you allow them to taste fresh food with real nutrients.

beanbear
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 320
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:55 pm
Total Likes: 10


Next

Return to Working With Your Child