Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Musicstar » Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:40 am

Hi,

I'm the SAHM mum of 4 kids, P5, P4, P3 and K2 all girls. My P5 DD request me to her go with her 6 classmates to go shopping but I did not allow. I feel that one of her classmate is not very close with her sibling. One day when she talked to her classmate using speaker phone and I overheard her classmate scolding her sibling, "stupid" bla bla bla.. This classmate of her has 5 siblings.

She felt very sad and sobbing after I told her not allow. Then , she take her diary to start writing and sobbing. I'm in deliemma as whether to let her go out with her classmates as I also do not want to see her feel sad. DD is my eldest and I'm afraid of letting her go with also affect her sibling to follow which become out of control.

She tells me to give a reason why she cannot goes. I told her that she just P5 still small not cannot go out alone with classmates. She claims that it is not a good reason. She is easily listen to friends and follow type of person as what I have obeserved. She always admire friends who has like Iphone and etc and how she wished to have one. How can I change her thinking? She always tell me that she like to be alone, hate sibling. How to change her attitude? I want them to build good relationship. Sometimes, I'm really in a lost don't know how to handle them and I feel that I'm a failure mommy.

When they are babies, they are cute playing together . But now they used to quarrel and argue. When they talk argument sure arise. My opinion that the eldest one very important to lead well as the youngest sibling always follow. Do anyone agree.

Sorry, my english not good, hope can understand . :cry:

Anyone can share your thought. :please:

:thankyou:

Musicstar
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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Guest » Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:09 pm

I agree with you that P5 is too young to go shopping. When one has no buying power, shopping is really quite out of the question. I only go shopping when I have my own money to spend.

Perhaps she can develop a hobby and do the hobby activity with the friends invited to your place instead? At this age, they probably love their friends' company alot. If they can be at your place, at least you can get to see the kind of company she chooses and guide her.
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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby MrsSeah » Wed Aug 31, 2011 2:31 pm

Maybe you can organise a small gathering for her at home and invite her friend to come over to your place instead of them going shopping. :roll:

I will feel uncomfortable for my girl to go out with friend at this age too.

MrsSeah
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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Suz855 » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:20 pm

Today our kids grow up faster than we want, they are at the rebellious age earlier
before the onset of their teens ... Also they like to hang around with their friends better than the family ... Only way is to be as supportive and laid down the right boundaries for them to follow and of course, allowing them to invite their friends are good measure to understand the friends they mix around ... Just my 0.02 cent cause my dd1 is exactly the same, only diff is she is a bookworm n hate shopping.. :sweat:

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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Herbie » Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:05 pm

personally i will not let my dd go shoping with her friends at such a young age.

Herbie
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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Otah » Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:22 pm

me too. will not agree that kids go shopping after school especially when they are still primary school age. I have my kids attend after school care center since P1 and this request has never come to me so far, probably because they have friends study and play together in the afternoon at the center and not bored. But I do allow my P5/6 ds attend his classmate birthday invitation on weekend if there is.

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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Musicstar » Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:20 pm

Thank for everyone reply.

My DD told me that they want to leave a memorable to go neo print to take a picture. Her classmate is going to shift house to another place. She feel sad to leave her. They have a lot of ideas and etc.. I'm firm that not agree them to do so.

I told my DD to take camera take pic if they really want a memorable one.

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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby MMM » Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:40 pm

My eldest is only P4... but I don't think I will let her go if she is P5. Does seem alittle young to go shopping with friends. In terms of influence, I suppose it all voice down to individual characters. Eg. my P3 would come back and tell us that a friend actually brought $1k to school to buy stuff during the fair. The friend's monthly pocket money is $1k etc... So in situation like that, iso encouraging him to envy the friend, we really need to educate them and inculcate them with our family values.

Eg. I personally think it's not right for the other child's parents to let the child bring so much money to school. Not against them but rather from our personal values, it's not right as in will it encourage theft, and does a P3 really need $1k for a fair???? This sounds ridiculous to me actually. Unless the child is trying to flaunt his family wealth in school.

I told my son that even if we can afford, that is not the right way to do it. This is not in our value system. So there is nothing to envy but rather, something is not right with the way his friend does it.

MMM
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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby Chenonceau » Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:21 pm

MMM wrote:My eldest is only P4... but I don't think I will let her go if she is P5. Does seem alittle young to go shopping with friends. In terms of influence, I suppose it all voice down to individual characters. Eg. my P3 would come back and tell us that a friend actually brought $1k to school to buy stuff during the fair. The friend's monthly pocket money is $1k etc... So in situation like that, iso encouraging him to envy the friend, we really need to educate them and inculcate them with our family values.

Eg. I personally think it's not right for the other child's parents to let the child bring so much money to school. Not against them but rather from our personal values, it's not right as in will it encourage theft, and does a P3 really need $1k for a fair???? This sounds ridiculous to me actually. Unless the child is trying to flaunt his family wealth in school.

I told my son that even if we can afford, that is not the right way to do it. This is not in our value system. So there is nothing to envy but rather, something is not right with the way his friend does it.


:goodpost:

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Re: Any P5 girl request to go shopping with classmates.

Postby 2ppaamm » Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:22 pm

My girls are never allowed to go shopping with friends, even now that they are 15 and 13. I get worried that they might mix with the wrong crowd, hang out for the wrong reasons, or pick up wrong habits from the wrong kids.

Now, my girls are a little bit more 'sua-ku' than your average kids, even compared to their brother. Kor-kor had been going out without me ferrying him around since 14, but not the girls, because I am a little bit more protective with the girls.

I think there are advantages and disadvantages. Advantages is that you have full control of their situations and you know they are not exposed to any potential problem. The disadvantage is that you get very naive and 'innocent' girls, which could potentially be gullible.

My older girl is now in the uni and so I taught her to take the public transport. She manages to get around and to the shopping mall to buy stuff (normally craft and hobby supplies, and groceries for the family) once a week. But my rule is that you can go buy stuff, but not hang out in the shopping areas. Max in a shopping centre is 30 minutes for my girls.

If you reign tightly like I did, I guess the kids are a bit 'reserved' compared to girls who are allowed to do and go out with friends. We then need to teach them wisdom and explain the rationale behind what we do. I think we ought to be even more careful not to ruin a relationship when we forbid our kids going out with friends, lest they hide information or go out without permission.

I guess each kid is different, so do what you think is right, and explain your action carefully and clearly so she is always on your side.

Hope this helps!

2ppaamm
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