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Is cry & adapt the only way out

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby mimosa_80 » Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:28 pm

strparent,
sometimes i wonder too..
he just turned 2yr old


Chenonceau/Tamarind,
thanks for the replies :)

do you it is necessary for kids to attend N1 nowadays? i am thinking of skipping and let him attend N2 from 4yrs old onwards?

my mum is take caring of him now but she can only teach him mandarin

Chenonceau,
i do agree with you...we do read up alot on attachment parenting and believe in it n starting to see effects of it...do u practise it too?


tamarind,
i read your blog on phonics! :)
my boy used to attend GUG and he knows his phonics already hence we are moving him to right brain training classes

mimosa_80
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Chenonceau » Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:40 pm

mimosa_80 wrote:strparent,
sometimes i wonder too..
he just turned 2yr old


Chenonceau/Tamarind,
thanks for the replies :)

do you it is necessary for kids to attend N1 nowadays? i am thinking of skipping and let him attend N2 from 4yrs old onwards?

my mum is take caring of him now but she can only teach him mandarin

Chenonceau,
i do agree with you...we do read up alot on attachment parenting and believe in it n starting to see effects of it...do u practise it too?


tamarind,
i read your blog on phonics! :)
my boy used to attend GUG and he knows his phonics already hence we are moving him to right brain training classes



:udawoman: Waaaaaah! I wish I was half as well informed as you when my kids were small. You're a wonderful mommy I think!!

Chenonceau
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Vevey » Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:28 am

mimosa_80 wrote:strparent,
sometimes i wonder too..
he just turned 2yr old


Chenonceau/Tamarind,
thanks for the replies :)

do you it is necessary for kids to attend N1 nowadays? i am thinking of skipping and let him attend N2 from 4yrs old onwards?

my mum is take caring of him now but she can only teach him mandarin

Chenonceau,
i do agree with you...we do read up alot on attachment parenting and believe in it n starting to see effects of it...do u practise it too?


tamarind,
i read your blog on phonics! :)
my boy used to attend GUG and he knows his phonics already hence we are moving him to right brain training classes


I think ur boy will b v v bored in a normal preschool! :wink:
DS2 is finishing N2 this term & yet to recognise all his letters. Not to mention phonics etc.... :cool:

Vevey
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby mymagicteddy » Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:57 pm

deminc wrote:We were lucky in that we had a choice as I am a WAHM. While I do believe that children will eventually adapt, cry and adapt method is not for me and I will send/withdraw/change preschools as I see fit. This does depend on the child's personality. DS1 has a very strong personality and good verbal skills and he can "survive" in any situations. However if he is unhappy, he will go into passive-aggressive mode at home, so we change preschool for his "happiness" more than anything else. DS2 on the other hand was totally not ready for various reasons including emotional ones, and we withheld from sending him to N1 and N2. Now he is ready for K1 next year and looks forward to it. To prepare him, I have taken him to the kindy 3 times, introduced him to other children who will also be transferring there, do role-play at home with him on classroom situations, and enrolled him for a weekly mum-child class. I give my children 1 term to try out any new places, after which they are allowed to withdraw if they want to.



To Deminc,

May I know what is the name of school of the weekly mum-child class? I used to bring my DD to a mum-child class but has to stop because she is over-aged. My DD is 3.5yrs.

mymagicteddy
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Oppsgal » Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:17 am

Chenonceau wrote:mimosa_80

I am one of those who believe that babies are better off as Mommy's shadow. The kids don't learn more just because we put them in school early... or we expose them super early. They just learn less of something else. In early childhood, I focused a lot on emotional development and parent-child bonding. This sets a good foundation for the later years when you will have to punish them.

I used to joke that my son was the only Preschool Dropout that I knew. He dropped out of 2 preschools in the USA, and 2 in Singapore. He was different from DD. My DS followed me around like a puppy for the 1st 4 years of his life. He only successfully integrated school in K1. This was a strain on me because we were living in the USA and there were no maids. He was miserable even when I popped him for 1 hour in a short-term childcare to scoot off to my yoga class. He was with me 24/7.

I don't see that he suffered much academically because he is ranked 16th in his level (even though he is weak in Chinese). Today, we have a very strong and close relationship that is useful because it allows me to push him and stretch him to do his best and better than his best. Few parents understand that the most powerful thing in the motivation of children (and adults) is the strength of the relationship. Whatever others say or do, my kids look to me for approval and validation. Criticism from others roll off their backs. My disapproval is great cause for concern.

It pays to build that relationship with your toddlers. By the way, I also have Work At Home arrangements. If you are a FTWM (with no access to trusted caregivers at home), then I suppose the cry and adapt is the way to go... but if you do have flexi working arrangements and/or have grandparents at hand... then you have choices... and going to school may not be the best choice, depending on the child.


I find my kid learning lesser in the childcare than at home, 1:1 with me.

I wonder is it a good idea to switch my kid from full time to half a day in childcare?

teacher says my kid might mess up the schedule as already adapted. But for me, i think is still same as comes back is sleeping time like what done in school.

Plus sahm can cut some cost by only placing in half day, so kid can still have a feel of childcare, and learn more in class for communication+ home.

any idea? Husband is scare of the adapting of schedule.

Oppsgal
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Vevey » Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:41 am

Oppsgal wrote:I find my kid learning lesser in the childcare than at home, 1:1 with me.

I wonder is it a good idea to switch my kid from full time to half a day in childcare?

teacher says my kid might mess up the schedule as already adapted. But for me, i think is still same as comes back is sleeping time like what done in school.

Plus sahm can cut some cost by only placing in half day, so kid can still have a feel of childcare, and learn more in class for communication+ home.

any idea? Husband is scare of the adapting of schedule.


As long as u can cope w kid at home in the pm, y not? :)
However, is there any essential stuff e.g. Chinese that's being taught in cc after nap?

Vevey
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Oppsgal » Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:28 pm

Vevey wrote:
Oppsgal wrote:I find my kid learning lesser in the childcare than at home, 1:1 with me.

I wonder is it a good idea to switch my kid from full time to half a day in childcare?

teacher says my kid might mess up the schedule as already adapted. But for me, i think is still same as comes back is sleeping time like what done in school.

Plus sahm can cut some cost by only placing in half day, so kid can still have a feel of childcare, and learn more in class for communication+ home.

any idea? Husband is scare of the adapting of schedule.


As long as u can cope w kid at home in the pm, y not? :)
However, is there any essential stuff e.g. Chinese that's being taught in cc after nap?


So far only know how to speak Chinese. If lucky, chinese is taught in the am? Then pm go home sleep?

Oppsgal
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Vevey » Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:38 pm

Oppsgal wrote:
Vevey wrote:As long as u can cope w kid at home in the pm, y not? :)
However, is there any essential stuff e.g. Chinese that's being taught in cc after nap?


So far only know how to speak Chinese. If lucky, chinese is taught in the am? Then pm go home sleep?


Not sure abt ur side but the cc near my place isn't charging any much cheaper for half days. If that's ur case too, u might 1 2 consider going to a PCF or pre-school etc for 3-4 hr program & then spend the rest of the time at home eat, bathe, nap, play, learn from u etc.

Vevey
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Oppsgal » Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:41 pm

Vevey wrote:
Oppsgal wrote:
Vevey wrote:As long as u can cope w kid at home in the pm, y not? :)
However, is there any essential stuff e.g. Chinese that's being taught in cc after nap?


So far only know how to speak Chinese. If lucky, chinese is taught in the am? Then pm go home sleep?


Not sure abt ur side but the cc near my place isn't charging any much cheaper for half days. If that's ur case too, u might 1 2 consider going to a PCF or pre-school etc for 3-4 hr program & then spend the rest of the time at home eat, bathe, nap, play, learn from u etc.


3-4 hr program = half day? Never heard of 3-4 hours. My husband is worried that my kid cannot cope with changes. :razz: scared that once become half a day, hard to go back full day next time.

Oppsgal
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Re: Is cry & adapt the only way out

Postby Vevey » Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:54 pm

Oppsgal wrote:
Vevey wrote:Not sure abt ur side but the cc near my place isn't charging any much cheaper for half days. If that's ur case too, u might 1 2 consider going to a PCF or pre-school etc for 3-4 hr program & then spend the rest of the time at home eat, bathe, nap, play, learn from u etc.


3-4 hr program = half day? Never heard of 3-4 hours. My husband is worried that my kid cannot cope with changes. :razz: scared that once become half a day, hard to go back full day next time.


These r not childcare centres but nursery/kindergarten programs so no bathing/napping etc that stretches the time spend there.
If there is an intention for full day in future then really hv to consider carerfully, as the kids will know there r better options than in full day cc. :evil:

Vevey
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