Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

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Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby toughlove » Thu Sep 15, 2011 6:24 pm

My 11yr-old girl keeps getting into trouble (disobedient) despite Mom & Dad telling her repeatedly what the consequences are for the respective actions. Basically does what she shouldn't and doesn't what she should. Tried both carrot and stick approach - stick works best. Nonetheless as her parents, we don't want to drive her away by always having to use the stick and it makes her feel unloved I'm sure. Since she doesn't seem able to learn from her scoldings (they can get very fierce !) - in fact, digging herself into deeper trouble by argueing further during scoldings - we're at our wits' end. So seeking professional help... anyone know of a good child psychologist ? BTW, we're more concerned about her behaviour and not really her studies.

toughlove
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby Mdm Koh » Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:53 pm

Have you tried approaching the school counsellor?

Mdm Koh
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby mommyNg » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:13 pm

Toughlove, have pm-ed you.

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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby yuanyuan mama » Fri Sep 16, 2011 3:08 pm

mommyNg wrote:Toughlove, have pm-ed you.



MommyNg, do you mind pm me as well? Thanks.

yuanyuan mama
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby libran269 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 3:23 pm

mommyNg wrote:Toughlove, have pm-ed you.


Hi Can you please pm me too. Many Thanks

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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby tisnadi » Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:15 am

Hi,

I also have a problem with my 5.5 yrs old son. He can't control his anger. I have tried lots of methods from reading books and articles, but still no improvement.

If anyone could recommend a good psychologist, I would really appreciate it. Thank you :smile:

tisnadi
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby casamia » Sun Oct 02, 2011 7:00 pm

toughlove wrote:My 11yr-old girl keeps getting into trouble (disobedient) despite Mom & Dad telling her repeatedly what the consequences are for the respective actions. Basically does what she shouldn't and doesn't what she should. Tried both carrot and stick approach - stick works best. Nonetheless as her parents, we don't want to drive her away by always having to use the stick and it makes her feel unloved I'm sure. Since she doesn't seem able to learn from her scoldings (they can get very fierce !) - in fact, digging herself into deeper trouble by argueing further during scoldings - we're at our wits' end. So seeking professional help... anyone know of a good child psychologist ? BTW, we're more concerned about her behaviour and not really her studies.


Hi,
Same here. We are also having a really hard time with our DD1 (approaching 11). Ever since she touched 2, it has been "no no no" to everything we say or ask her to do. it is during rare occasion(s) ( and very rare!) that she listens and do as told. And worst still, she has a string of bad habits, is stubborn, bad temper, mood swings... Sometimes we simply don't understand what goes thru' her mind and cannot understand why she behaves in certain ways...

we had tried both carrot & stick approaches, neither works. In fact, we have exhausted all approaches... even to extremely hurtful and bad things, yelling to ask her to get out of house, thretening to send her away to boarding school or homes, to even calling the police on one of the fights! The police came, spent half day talking (and we thought that might scare her a bit) but still no use. at the end of day, she's still the same old self! She is literally "tien bu pa, di pu pa" (i.e. no fear for anything \nothing scares her). my only worry is, when she gets to Secondary school and falls in bad company....

the only consolation i have is, at least she behaves in school. the only fear she has is her school teacher. DD1 's behaviour at school is the exact opposite at home. she is afraid of getting into her teacher's bad books, she will do whatever her teacher says and at least do the bare minimum, i.e. complete her homework & hand in on time.

I must say DD1 is a bright child, extrovert and a happy child (despite the mood swings & tentrums). she never study for exams, don't do any extra worksheets I request her to do, yet managed to stay above average and be in the top 2nd class. I don't check her work (she doesn't want me to check either) nor sit with her to study.... (frankly it will be another fight or nightmare as I have v short fuse)
But now she is in P5, and her grades are slipping. she has dropped below P5 average in her SA1 papers. Exams are round the corner and she is still in her honeymoon stage. Reading story books, watching TVs\Dvds, playing computer games... recently I locked our PCs and cut off her access to DS\Playstation, PC, etc. DH said let her be, his only expectation of her is her behaviour & attitude. just as long as she behaves, is respectful to her elders...

Both DH & myself are out of our wits. we are drained and to avoid anymore rows & fights, we have adopted the "bo chap" attitude, literally closing 1.5 eyes now and let her do whatever she wants\likes... only when we couldn't stand further... and that's when hell starts!

this is her daily routine (and i mean everyday!):
1. will continue to lay in bed despite our calling, coaxing, yelling...
2. when she sensed that we are all about ready to leave house, she wil jump up, use the toilet, rinse her mouth & splash water on her face, change into her school uniform and rushed out...
3. if there is still time (i.e. DD2 is still having breakfast), she will sit at the breakfast table and stare into space, again until we are abt to leave house, she will then start to scramble...
4. most times, she doesn't brush her teeth (or if she does, it is a 1min job) nor clean her face properly... and also don't comb her hair. now she keeps a brush in the car so she brush her hair, wears her socks & shoes in the car while on the way to school...
5. then at night (literally everynite and on Sunday nite), she will have hw that she forgot and will struggle to complete at the 11th hour....
Despite our constant reminders, to prioritise and complete the necessary first and enjoy\play later, she never fails to disappoint us and do the exact opposite. Every wkend is the same, we advised\encouraged\request\beg... her to complete her school homewk so that she can enjoy & play whole of Sunday... she will say she has completed all her homework, but on Sun 9pm, she will discover she has some that she forgot to do!! that goes the same when there's long wkend or school holidays, regardless how many days break, she will have homework that is not done on the 11th hour...

So everyday, she goes thru' this cycle. Except for Sat & Sun where she she catches up on her sleep, most wkdays she sleeps < 8hours, which i do not think is good for an eleven year old. Every nite I beg her to sleep early and every morning I beg her to get out of bed... this has gone on for abt 3 years now! (P1 &2 in p.m. session...)

From June this year, I have started her on the school counselling; and recently, also started external counselling at FSC. Have talked with her form teacher, don't see there is any improvement even with the school councelling and communication with her teacher. DD1 felt embarrassed each time she gets called out to the councellor and she is upset that I talked with her teacher...

we will see how it goes with the external counselling...

casamia
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby buzyshoe » Sun Oct 09, 2011 8:34 pm

Hi I'm desperate too. My elder boy, now 8, became a angry person since he starts main-stream. I kept reflecting if its because we are pushing him too hard or not spending enough time with him but not so. He used to be a cheerful, lovely boy, but now he would blurt out angry words to anyone, ranging from his classmates, teachers, grandparents to even parents.
We, as parents, would want him to be happy. Happy learning, going to school, enjoying life. Any good Child Psychologist to recommend to get to know his problem? Charges?

buzyshoe
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby mikii » Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:56 am

Hi all, I'm either. My elder boy 8 yo, he is a bright child but lost of interest in study. So far 2 tuition teachers have been giving up him, his focusing and attention spend is very short and active....but time to do lego he can sit there for one whole day....I need a good Child Psychologist to know his problem.

mikii
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Re: Anyone know any good Child Psychologist ?

Postby mikii » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:00 am

mommyNg wrote:Toughlove, have pm-ed you.


mummyng, dun mind pm-ed me also...thanks

mikii
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