Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB account?

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Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB account?

Postby smartmummy » Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:29 pm

Hi All!

My son use his father's FB account to play games.But I didn't allow him to add his friends.Is it good/bad idea to create an account for him and allow to add his friends?

What's ur opinion/experience?TIA.

smartmummy
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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby cherrygal » Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:39 pm

I don't even want a FB account for myself. I opened one, then regretted it and closed it down. It's just a waste of time and your whole life is open to so many people. I cannot trust the security of this site coz I set it to the most private setting and yet weird pple can ask me to add them as a friend. They can see me via the un-private friends I added.

I won't allow my kid to have an account in primary school coz I don't want him to use that as an excuse to be online. I don't even allow him to play games on the computer unless it's the school holidays and even then, it's just for 1 - 2 hours once a week. I try to control computer usage as much as I can. If he needs to use the computer for schoolwork later on, I make sure it's done with me seated next to him.

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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby smartmummy » Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:21 am

I scared if we control more then they will do bad more (unknowingly) in later.
He need to play everyday for one hr.Otherwise he just frustrated and throw his angry.Previously I didn't allow him to play on weekdays.Then he can't study without computer time.Then I just allow for 15 mins then it increased to 1 hr and more.Now I can't stop him now.One of his friends come to our house,they play together in computer.Now he only wanted to add my son in his game.He had many friends (schoolmates) in his FB.Sometimes I gave them to play Board games.

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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby JonC » Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:08 am

Your DS P??

My DS starts using FB from P6.

Kind of out of control, control of hours online by mouth agreement failed, I downloaded K9 to control the computer, but only if computer using web browser, using games with direct apps not control by K9, in the end, I control by using the router's (if you have a router) access control feature to control the time used.

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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby smartmummy » Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:41 am

Hi JonC!
My son in P3.

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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby LOLMum » Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:57 am

nope, too young and too much rubbish on it. kids tend to have a tendency to write a load of rubbish peppered with undesirable words on fb.

my dd (13 years old) have a fb account. it was fun initally but now she seldom goes on it too. she prefers twitter.

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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby cherrygal » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:23 pm

smartmummy wrote:I scared if we control more then they will do bad more (unknowingly) in later.
He need to play everyday for one hr.Otherwise he just frustrated and throw his angry.Previously I didn't allow him to play on weekdays.Then he can't study without computer time.Then I just allow for 15 mins then it increased to 1 hr and more.Now I can't stop him now.One of his friends come to our house,they play together in computer.Now he only wanted to add my son in his game.He had many friends (schoolmates) in his FB.Sometimes I gave them to play Board games.


With what you have just said, it seems all these happened because of a lack of control. So your first sentence about fear of over-control is an irony coz you can't stop him now even if he does bad things. Controlling more when they are young helps them to develop self-restraint. You can let go when they are matured enough to manage their time. You must always create boundaries and maintain them. If it's 15mins, then put a timer next to him and don't tolerate begging for extensions. Once he knows you mean business, he will stop his nonsense.

I experienced all this first hand coz I made the mistake of letting my boy play on the computer and it got worse from there. I finally put my foot down and told him to play only on weekends, but that also wasn't the solution coz his brains would be thinking of games all week and affect his work. Finally, I insisted that games can only be played on the Saturdays of school holidays and only for 1 - 2 hours at most. He agreed after I told him how some boys spent so much time playing that they failed their exams and now have to wipe tables... I also used articles in the newspapers about people who die playing games for 3 days without stopping.

DH and I don't play games at all so we also lead by example. I tell him games spoil the eyes and brain cells. They make us stupid.

There was a parent who had the same issue as you and her kid is just P1. The counsellor (we were at a parenting talk) said parental control is very important. You must show who is the authoritative figure. Don't let your kid walk all over you.

Control now before it's really too late.

cherrygal
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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby cherrygal » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:33 pm

Oh yes, the counsellor said don't give the kid free access to the computer. Never put one in his room. Lock your computers with a password that only you can access. If he must play, he must do it in the living room. Don't let him play in his own room with the door closed.

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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby BeContented » Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:45 pm

cherrygal wrote:
smartmummy wrote:I scared if we control more then they will do bad more (unknowingly) in later.
He need to play everyday for one hr.Otherwise he just frustrated and throw his angry.Previously I didn't allow him to play on weekdays.Then he can't study without computer time.Then I just allow for 15 mins then it increased to 1 hr and more.Now I can't stop him now.One of his friends come to our house,they play together in computer.Now he only wanted to add my son in his game.He had many friends (schoolmates) in his FB.Sometimes I gave them to play Board games.


With what you have just said, it seems all these happened because of a lack of control. So your first sentence about fear of over-control is an irony coz you can't stop him now even if he does bad things. Controlling more when they are young helps them to develop self-restraint. You can let go when they are matured enough to manage their time. You must always create boundaries and maintain them. If it's 15mins, then put a timer next to him and don't tolerate begging for extensions. Once he knows you mean business, he will stop his nonsense.

I experienced all this first hand coz I made the mistake of letting my boy play on the computer and it got worse from there. I finally put my foot down and told him to play only on weekends, but that also wasn't the solution coz his brains would be thinking of games all week and affect his work. Finally, I insisted that games can only be played on the Saturdays of school holidays and only for 1 - 2 hours at most. He agreed after I told him how some boys spent so much time playing that they failed their exams and now have to wipe tables... I also used articles in the newspapers about people who die playing games for 3 days without stopping.

DH and I don't play games at all so we also lead by example. I tell him games spoil the eyes and brain cells. They make us stupid.

There was a parent who had the same issue as you and her kid is just P1. The counsellor (we were at a parenting talk) said parental control is very important. You must show who is the authoritative figure. Don't let your kid walk all over you.

Control now before it's really too late.


Agree with Cherrygal. I had trouble with my kids when they were younger.....I was lenient and allowed extension of time repeatedly. Soon, like an addiction, they begged for more & more time, would keep thinking about it everyday and had the urge to play.
I put my foot down and only allow 2 hours daily on Fri/Sat/Sun. As & when situation deems fit, it get increased/decreased eg. exam period reduced to 1 hour, more during holidays etc. Initially they suffered the 'cold turkey' symptoms and I did have a hard time....but once overcome....things are better.

Personally I believe we need to set the rules and adhered to it the earlier the better. Per Cherrygal mentioned, need to control from young and teach them self-restraint. The more addicted they are, the harder to break it, so do it early.....but do be prepared for some resistance initially.

BeContented
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Re: Do u allow ur kids(primary school) has their own FB acco

Postby smartmummy » Sun Nov 06, 2011 6:54 pm

cherrygal wrote:Oh yes, the counsellor said don't give the kid free access to the computer. Never put one in his room. Lock your computers with a password that only you can access. If he must play, he must do it in the living room. Don't let him play in his own room with the door closed.

Hi cherrygal!
He always play in the living room. Now I changed the password.So I can control him.

smartmummy
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