Schedule / Routine for 9 1/2 mths old baby

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Schedule / Routine for 9 1/2 mths old baby

Postby icyclaw » Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:31 pm

Hi, I have been breast feeding my 9 1/2mths old baby on demand and she has been breast feeding to sleep every night. She wakes up on average from 11pm at night to 12pmthe next day around 6 times. I am very tired from lack of undisturbed sleep.

Tried to introduce her to a bottle since she is 1 month old, but she refused. She used to be unwilling to suck from a bottle at all, but so far had succeeded in finishing 60ml of FM from a bottle once, but to drink herself to sleep is impossible. She prefer to hold the bottle by the teat and let all the contents flow out. Letting her lie down on my lap / beside me etc doesnt work as she will just flip and start to crawl away.

Could not take the tough approach of letting her cry herself to sleep. Hope that setting up a routine would help. Hubby refused to let me bath her at night to try the bedtime routine approach. (Does alot of mummies in Singapore let their 9 mths old baby bath at 8-9pm?) But have no idea what is the "correct" routine... Would appreciate if some mummmies can give me their schedule (bed time, eating time, portions - cos all along breastfeeding on demand.. so dunno really know her appetite, recently been feeding her solids till she scream which doesnt seems like such a good idea..) for their babies thru out the day so that i can try to follow, and maybe adjust to suit my family as i go along?

Million of thanx in advance for saving my sanity..

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Last edited by icyclaw on Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Schedule / Routine for 9 1/2 mths old baby

Postby phankao » Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:12 pm

icyclaw wrote:Hi, I have been breast feeding my 9 1/2mths old baby on demand and she has been breast feeding to sleep every night.
....But have no idea what is the "correct" routine... Would appreciate if some mummmies can give me their schedule (bed time, eating time, portions - cos all along breastfeeding on demand.. so dunno really know her appetite, recently been feeding her solids till she scream which doesnt seems like such a good idea..) for their babies thru out the day so that i can try to follow, and maybe adjust to suit my family as i go along?


You are talking about nighttime routine? Or whole day? My schedule is rough roughly there, sometimes flexible abit.

My bb is 8-1/2mths.

I leave my baby around 6.30am after bf'dg him at 6am+ to send the boys to school and go to office. At 9.30am when I come back, he'd probalby have woken up anytime from 8am to 9am and have had his morning bath & breakfast. I will bf him again then, let him watch flashcard videos while I quickly try to go through the newspapers.

Between 10-11am onwards, I will then bring him out for a walk or to the market or out on errands or whatever else I need to do. Usually back by 11.30am or 12noon. I will bf him once again, and he'd take like a short half-hr nap while he nurses. :cry: Sad bc he won't let me go at this time of the day.

He will eat lunch around 1pm, then take afternn nap until abt 3+pm and bf again.

Eat dinner around 5+ or 6pm, then go out for walk/play at playground or a swim.

7 to 730pm, Bathtime.

then read books until about 8pm, plus the rest of the family will have fun playing w him, carrying him around or so.

9pm bedtime. He will nurse to sleep.

Sad to say though, he will nurse throughout the night hor, every so often when he wakes. I'm too sleepy to notice after 1 or 2pm since bb sleeps w us.

Our 3-generation household configuration is jus not conducive to sleep training lor

phankao
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Postby EstherTan » Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:55 pm

I'm not sure if this helps, coz I did EBM and partial FM for my ah girl... We had a bit of problems initially because she refused to go to sleep at night and would hang up and about till midnight (she'd sleep till 8am thereabouts though).

We gradually shifted her sleeping time earlier (she sleeps at about 103pm now till 730am), had to make it a routine by bringing her into the room at about 10 - 1030. We'd stay there even if she didn't want to sleep and let her play a little or read to her. We play standard music for her as well (granny compiled a cassette of nursery rhymes and we used that). Was hard initially, but hubby would give her a gentle massage and used the lavender moisturizer from Johnson's. (The scent is supposed to help her sleep).

Nowadays we toss her in the crib where she'll roll/ totter around until she's ready to fall asleep. We'll just lay down beside the crib and read/ rest. She'll fuss and try to get out of the crib, but we just ignore her. If she's not keen to sleep, we let her play a little.

We don't bathe her at night, but give her a 'wipe down' with warm soapy water. Her usual bath time is in the afternoon at about 2 - 3pm.

Hope this helps!

EstherTan
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Re: Schedule / Routine for 9 1/2 mths old baby

Postby cnimed » Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:22 am

Hi Icyclaw,

I've been breastfeeding for 5 years so maybe I can help a little. :)
First thing that came to my mind is that if the sleep irregularities are recent, she could be going through a growth spurt, teething, or just not feeling well. Remember if baby keeps waking up, she's tired too.

icyclaw wrote:She wakes up on average from 11am to 12pm around 6 times. I am very tired from lack of undisturbed sleep.


I'm not sure if the timing you wrote is right. If so, it sounds like she's sleeping too much during the day. A baby this age usually has 2 1- 1.5hr naps during day time, and a longer period of sleep at night, or 1 1-3hr afternoon nap plus a catnap somewhere. The average child may stir to nurse 2-3 times during night-time to nurse, but (much) more often if he/she is not feeling well or going through a growth spurt.

When sleep is not going well, you need to look through her day's schedule - there should be regular time for outdoor/indoor play, regular meal times, regular down time. During meals, it doesn't matter how much she eats, it's more an introduction to tastes, and also a chance for you to learn about her likes/dislikes and personality. What's more important is that it's at about the same time of the day. Offer it to her, don't force it on her. If she likes it, she will look interested and open her mouth for more. If she turns away, that means she doesn't want anymore. One thing that's quite important is not to push the spoon into the back of the baby's mouth as it may cause her to gag or create an aversion to mealtimes. Some babies are very tactile and prefer to touch the food or feed themselves. If so you can offer cut cubes of soft bananas, avocado, tofu etc.

I find that for my children, they generally will skip breakfast until they are about 2 plus because they will nurse twice in the night and are not hungry in the morning. They like to feed themselves, and enjoy finger food more than porridge. Both transit to feeding themselves with spoons once they are ready so don't worry about table manners at this age (just no throwing food). The main thing is the spoon /fork/foodpick is always there for them to try if they want to. If you're introducing new food, do so during the afternoon meal, so that if there's something upsetting to her digestive system, the body has some time to process it before nightime sleep.

If the day's schedule is ok, you need to look deeper for underlying causes. My first son slept like clockwork except when he has a cold or not feeling well. He went through a colicky stage but we found out it was due to dairy products and that solved it very quickly.

My second son was very irregular until about 1 year old - it turned out to be due to a combination of personality and food/skin sensitivities plus teething. He could only sleep at the same familiar place (ie no overnights or late nights at relative's place) every night. He couldn't sleep if there's anything "stimulating" - not even colored bedsheets. My bedroom is a sea of white and beige.

From 7-10 months old, he barely slept at night, cried almost every 1-1.5 hours. My husband and I had to take turns at the marathons. At around the same time, he started showing signs of eczema. It took me a few weeks to track our diet(his and mine) and remove all the food that he was reacting to. And it turned out that, he had also been reacting to something in my diet from birth without me realising and it was showing up as unusually strong-smelling and frequent soft stools (but still can pass for normal infant stools). After I cut the food out from our diet, the very next day his pooing pattern improved and he stopped scratching himself so much. Through observation and tracking, we cut out eggs, dairy, seafood and peanuts.

In addition, my PT helper and I cleaned the entire room thoroughly to reduce dust mites. He was also showing signs of reacting to the disposable diapers (both my father and I react to certain metals and materials)and I changed him to cloth diapers. Also made sure there are no scratchy tags in his clothes etc. Things became much better - wake up only 3-4 times a night. Throughout this period, he was also teething a lot. (He's 20 months old now and his teeth are almost complete.)

But it was only after he turned about 18 months old that his sleep became like his brother's when young - nurse twice a night without fully waking up and after nursing, will immediately unlatch and roll away. Now we know all the food he's sensitive too, have a skincare routine to prevent flare-ups etc - bascially we know him and his needs much better now. :) He's also talking now so he can now tell us what bothers him.

I know it's pretty tough right now. Just remember that baby is not doing this on purpose, and she's counting on her family to make her feel better. Check through the possible causes, and in the meantime, try to get someone to take over for a while during the day so that you can get some rest. It's hard to be patient and understanding when we're dog-tired and head buzzing from lack of sleep. I know, I've been there.

Hang in there!
cnimed
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Postby icyclaw » Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:15 pm

oh... forgot to add, the sleep irregularities are since she is born..

and it was worse, she could sleep at 9pm and cry every average 1/2hr for nothing, put in sarong also like that, so everytime cry, then will have to shake again.. if not, need to carry her to soothe her or feed her, but she will vomit if feed too much, refuse pacifier...

dunno whether that is colic, cos read taht colic is inconsolable... but she just cry very frequently but go back to sleep aft we soothe her by whatever method..

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Postby icyclaw » Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:20 pm

alamak... too stoned until i didnt submit my last reply, i go and close the window...

thanx phankao, esther and deminc for reply, will reply again when im free, baby crying again...

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Postby sashimi » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:43 pm

Hi icyclaw, sorry to hear about your problems. Let me offer a few suggestions:

1. Routine is something they have to learn, and you can adjust an undesirable routine, but slowly, half an hour at a time, moving her wakeful or napping periods to the time slots you prefer.

2. Formula is more "filling" than breast milk for the reason that it is not as nutritious as breast milk. The latter is almost all nutrition, so it is very quickly digested and her tummy thus empties very quickly. Suggest that you give a bottle of formula as the last feed before you go to bed yourself, eg. at 10pm or so. Theoretically it will take longer for her to digest, so she will sleep longer and not be awakened by hunger.

3. The other factor is stomach size. This can't really be helped much but it is helpful to understand that a baby can only consume so much at one go depending on the capacity of her stomach. As she grows bigger, so will her stomach capacity.

4. Refusing bottle - try this experiment, go out to the shops and find a bottle teat that is similar in shape to your nipple. When my DD was a baby, she seemed to prefer some teats to others. After some experimentation we theorized that she favoured the one which most resembled mommy's nipple shape.

5. You can also consider changing formula, or tricking your baby - give her a little of breast milk from the bottle, then surreptitiously change to formula halfway through the feed.

6. Colic - if you suspect this, go to watsons/guardian and buy a bottle of Gripe Water, a very old traditional answer to colic. It worked miracles with us. Add a bit to formula or water and feed to baby at night before you go to sleep. Colic is still poorly understood, if I'm not wrong, so in this case - consider the tried and proven solution. Gripe water looks seomthing like this:

https://www.mypharmacy.com.sg/ShopFront ... 998095028G

Hope this helps.

sashimi
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Postby fav_giraffe » Wed Apr 29, 2009 4:00 pm

Hi icyclaw, this remind me of my son when he was younger. He is not able to sleep much, be it day or night. At night, he will wake up every 1 hour and cried. :cry: Not too sure what is the problem but could be teething. Also could be overtiredness that make falling into sleep difficult for infants.

You may want to read the book"Baby whisperer" by Tracy Hogg on this.

But i persist in having a routine for him every night, dimming the lights and cleaning him up (using a basin and cloth) and having quiet time for about 15 mins. Slowly he seem to realise that it is bed time. When he turns one, the problem slowly goes away and now unless he is not well, will sleep thru' the night.

I know how it feels, the lack of sleep can really get into you. Take care.

fav_giraffe
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Postby schellen » Wed Apr 29, 2009 5:02 pm

Like what fav_giraffe wrote, sashimi and I set a routine for our DD from Day 1, even though she may not understand it at first. Gradually, she will realise that there is a routine and by 4-6 mths, she understood that sunset means bathtime (which she enjoys and looks forward to) followed by a bottle of EBM or formula and then bedtime. It took a while but we succeeded. Of course, in return, she doesn't nap for long during the day but it was okay since her naps very gradually went from 15 minutes to 1 hour by the time she reached 1yo.

I also agree that "Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg is very helpful. You may not want to follow every suggestion she gives but it helps you to understand your baby better and you can bond better. Also, it helps with the setting up of routines. She also wrote one for toddlers too.

schellen
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Postby sashimi » Wed Apr 29, 2009 5:57 pm

One of the MOST important lessons I learnt from Tracy Hogg is that for babies and young children:

The more a child sleeps, the more the child sleeps.

What this means is that a child who naps well and adequately sleeps better at night. An overtired child who does not nap in the day properly has bad sleep at night.

This is completely the opposite of what many parents do - which is to "deprive" a child of naps in the daytime so that they will sleep "more" at night. This idea not only does not work for children, it is detrimental to their development. Children's sleep is measured differently from adults'.

Once you understand that a child's sleep is vital, you will feel better working hard to ensure she sleeps and naps well. So - persist, don't give up. :)

sashimi
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