What issues do you face with growing up girls ?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

What issues do you face with growing up girls ?

Postby lizawa » Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:30 pm

Just want to know what issues parents here are facing with growing up girls, especially those in upper primary.

I find that my P5 daughter has mood swings frequently, has become more rebellious, rebutting and arguing more. In school, she is perfectly fine but at home, she is giving me all these problems. Anybody has anything similar to share ?

lizawa
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Postby prima » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:02 am

me too n so are other moms with P5 kids

learnt from one mom warn me that kids get rebellious once in P5. this is mainly becoz they realise that they have a choice whether to follow or to insist their way. also why not their way.

once in Sec 1 they begin to learn to mature n our job as mom becomes a little easier.

it has not been easy for me

prima
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Postby mummyjoyce » Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:37 am

I have a P6 and P5 girls; my younger child is still childish and like “cute” stuffs (maybe she is the youngest at home). But my older child begin to be very self conscious which drive me crazy at times. She is still OK in your school work but I begin to see that there are much more things that fancy her other than school works.
I guess this is normal as they are more things to discuss in school than school works but I really hate the self conscious bit which I don’t really know how to tell her that no one is perfect!

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Postby lizawa » Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:55 am

Maybe it's her strong character also, I find it difficult to control her, as compared to my son, who is in sec 1 now.

I tried all ways to make her listen and follow, but doesn't work. And sometimes it really drives me nuts.

Are your girls in co-ed schools ? Any BGR problems ? My daughter is starting to tell me which girl fancy which boy in the class. :roll:

lizawa
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Postby mummyjoyce » Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:34 pm

both my girls are in a girl school - it little bit different - lesser distraction.
Maybe you need to check if your girl is trying to get your attention. maybe you need more 1:1 time together. I try to have as much 1:1 time separately as possible.
I guess everyone child is different and thus the way to speak / interact with them will be different too.
One thing good is that my girls trust me alot - tells me alot of things in school, what they want to buy. we are like sisters. however many of the things i try to tell them; they might not get it now but I just have to repeat them. it is extrememly difficult to let them understand the basic concept likes priority, do the right things at the right times, dressing, etc etc.

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Postby westmom » Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:23 pm

I have the same issues with my P6 dd...answering back and rudeness. Been searching the web on how to "handle" such behaviour but is hard to practice. Like they say "walk away" first when they are rude (counsel later) but I am usually fuming and remain rooted on the ground. Any other strategies from anyone?

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Postby lizawa » Sat May 02, 2009 6:40 pm

The young generation nowadays, are so different from our time. Wonder if it is the way we brought them up, or pure influence from the society :?

Yes, I heard that strategy, walk away first until both parties cool down and then try to talk sense. But doesn't seem a long term strategy also, depends on how the child sees it. Some people say, this period will last 3 - 4 years. After that, they will be fine.

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Postby mathsparks » Mon May 04, 2009 1:24 am

Just to share my experience. My girl went to girls school in both primary and sec. No bgr problems there. Plus I used to restrict her internet usage to weekends only in Sec school.

In primary school, she was very obedient. In lower sec, she was ok as well but during her upper sec years, she became increasingly rebellious (perhaps assertive is a better word). Lots of tears/frustration/worries then.

The difficult 2 years are finally over and now that she's in JC1, she's back to being mummy's good girl. Back to being a considerate, caring child. Taking responsibility for her own studies. Of course, it's not smooth sailing all the way; she still has her occasional bouts of rebellion/outbursts, but they're fewer now.

What worked for me is the years of open communication I share with her. Have been working part-time since she was 3. So we share many precious moments together. I'm also very involved in her life helping her with Maths and now econs too. I'm also her personal chauffer. I know her friends and she shares her anxieties/happiness/sadness with me.

The sweetest part is when I kiss her, she still 'keeps' the kisses in her heart. A symbolic action she's been doing since young.

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Postby mathsparks » Tue May 05, 2009 11:09 pm

Hi insider,
My daughter is in JC1 now. There were a few in her sec school. But to say it's pop culture and very common now; I don't think that's true.

When she mentions such relationships, she would roll her eyes and I know she's straight as a ruler :lol: .

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Postby flametree » Wed May 06, 2009 6:20 pm

Hi Mathsparks and Insider,

I need some advice. My dd is 13 this yr. She has been in a girls school all her schooling years. Now that she's into her teenager phase and start to notice the opposite sex (fr tuition classes), i would like to know if you preempt your girls not to start any BGR? Do you tell them to start only at a certain age or what? pls help. thanks.

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