Kid with ADD

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Kid with ADD

Postby Nomnom » Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:55 pm

Hi,

I'm a newbie here so please don't shoot me if i have done anything wrong here.
I'm just clueless as to what i am supposed to do with my 8 yr old kid.I'm a young mummy when i had him
at 21.. I think maybe it got to do with my inexperience or not sure if there's something wrong with me
for not being able to control my son.

My son did pretty ok in preschool with teachers commenting he is hyper and a happy kid.Once he reach primary
school, he is still a happy kid now but there is one big issue. He can be disruptive in a class where he distract the teacher or the classmate
by talking to them, playing with them, even during lessons. His grades from 70s plummet to 40-50s... He can sit
still in a classroom but not able to pay attention nor finish his schoolwork daily, thus bringing them home
to finish it. As a result, he often has a lot of work to do at home. Being having both working parents, we put him
at my sis place. She a SAHM with 3kids and a maid. She tries her best to tell him to bath/do homework/take nap
as it is a routine. I m a single parent which my son is currently living with his father.

When he was primary two, after mid year, the concerned form teacher called about his worsening behaviour, i
asked if its possible that my son has ADD as one year has already pass and he has not stabilised.He lose stationary
every week. In a year, he can lose up to 30 stationary items and as well as books/folders. He is extremely
forgetful and has lack of concentration which affect his studies. Counselor were called in to observe. After
observation, she wrote a letter of recommendation for the hospital. I went with him to get some testing done
as well as IQ test. Result were out and he was diagnosed with ADD, though not severe.

Why i came here to ask for advise was... my son is now in primary three, he is in the morning school. He is
able to go back to my sis house which is 500m away from the school. He is still not doing well in school.
His result only slightly improved but im not concerned about his grade.It is more towards his behaviour.

He tends to disappear right after school. If no one fetches him, 90% chance of him disappearing is high.We
used to be able to search for him at the playground.Right now, we can't even find him there. I suspect he had
started to travel to other places since he has ezlink card. I uses soft approach - talking to him, reasoning
with him. I uses tough approach by caning him/punishment etc.. and i also uses other approach like communicating
with his teacher about his problem. Unfortunately his form teacher is not as good as the previous one (he left to
further studies.. )I tried using a GPS, the GPS is not accurate. I m considering to use mylocator but the
service provider told me it not highly accurate. I don't think i have a choice here.I m thinking of giving him
a simple hp but i m afraid he might loses it as he has the tendency to do so. I have caught him lying or speaking
half truth.I 'm quite afraid one fine day he won't come back. He refused to tell me why he keep doing it.

He will get punishment, obey for a few days then next week, it happen again.. anyone facing this problem??
I do not understand his need to why he wants to stay out when one of the reasons he claims was "i forgot?"
Do kids with ADD behave so impulsively? I even create a starchart for him. Rewards as if he complete his homework,
he can play his Wii or DS.. I want to drag him to children's home or old folk home to point out to him, how
lucky is he to have both set of parents trying their best to take care of him. He is naturally cheerful, will
not lose his temper unless he can't get his homework done which is rare..

What should i do to get him to drop this habit. I m afraid he might get worse - bad influence from adults or anything..

Nomnom
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Kid with ADD

Postby ammonite » Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:45 am

Have you considered putting him in a student care center? So after school, he takes the school bus and goes straight there and there are people to help him with his homework. This way he can't wander around.

If he has a lot of learning to catch up on, it is likely that he can't follow most of the lessons which will make him even more prone to inattentiveness. Your sister has her own children, it is difficult for her to keep track of his whereabouts and homework.

ammonite
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2223
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:13 am
Total Likes: 64


Re: Kid with ADD

Postby Nomnom » Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:55 pm

Yes. i m considering that but however the after-school care centre is 3 blocks away from the school which means he still can dont go to the care centre and disappeared somewhere.

Reasons being not putting him in childcare centre is due to i want him to have a sense of family belonging.

I do not think he needs any catching up. He is just not concentrating on his schoolwork. He prefered to do things on his own.

Nomnom
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Kid with ADD

Postby cherrygal » Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:05 pm

I think most pple have a misconception about putting their kids in childcare or student care. Them being in a structured environment does not equate to not having family belonging. Family belonging doesn't mean you keep him 24 hours at home but nobody talks / interacts with him. He needs quality family time and obviously, he doesn't get much, hence the running away. Sorry for the straight talking.

I agree with Ammonite that you should try having him in a student care centre. Inform the ctr teachers there of his case and ask them to help pick him up from school directly. Most care centres do this anyway esp if it's just 3 blocks away from the school. This type of money cannot be saved.

If you, your sis and your ex can't provide this close adult supervision, having a surrogate mom (in the form of the teacher) may be helpful.

And most kids are more obedient to teachers rather than to their moms, dads or worse, relatives.

He's still impressionable and you must nip this in the bud fast.

cherrygal
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:01 am
Total Likes: 13


Re: Kid with ADD

Postby beanbear » Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:05 pm

I've got an ADD child also. Clear Structures with Clear Rewards & Consequences are key. ADD children usually are impulsive (they can't help it) and a predictable home environment will create stability and security for the child.

My child is a timetable for everything, organisational skills - where to put stuff, how to keep things safe - alot of reinforcement is needed. A digital timer is an absolute essential tool - the best parenting tool I know :) My child must time their activities eg tv time, homework time, etc.

It's quite a paradox, ADD children get bored easily and so they become impulsive and start experimenting, wandering off. Yet, a clear timetable will help them comply. It's still important to let them have fun and feel secure with people who understand their condition. If you have someone who is looking after your child but don't understand his ADD condition, then they may punish the child because they think the child is disruptive and disobedient. An ADD child seeks stimulation more than normal children and moving, touching, experimenting is normal to an ADD child. Whoever looks after your child needs to understand that or your child can become aggressive because he's misunderstood.

beanbear
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 320
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:55 pm
Total Likes: 10



Re: Kid with ADD

Postby Nomnom » Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:58 pm

I still dont think its possible to put him in childcare centre. First he have alot of remedials and other curricular activities in 3 out of 5 weekdays period. The classes may change after two or three weeks later so different teacher is in charge of him. I'm not sure i want to trouble the teacher that way.

Secondly, you may say that he have lack interaction. That is untrue. He have alot of interaction. It just that he doesnt like to do homeworks. And he have additional work from school because he does not finish them on time in the class. So most of the time, he have to do his schoolwork after bath and lunch. I talk to him on the phone during my work time to find out how is he doing. My sis advice and help him with his homework. If he finish his work on time, he plays with his three cousins.

Third, he is not running away. Its more like he disappeared because he likes to wander around ,explore and talk to strangers. He is fascinated by people with gagdets. He is at times was caught loitering with a couple of school kids or went out with some kids to buy some stuff. He does not appear defiant, just that only he does not follow the instructions readily.

I do not wish to put him in the childcare centre because of also some religious activity i wish for him to practice. That childcare centre do not provide it.

At this moment, i have arranged with my sis to fetch him direct from school, with the teacher holding on to him at the general office after class ends. I guess i have to do this til he eventually able to go home on his own.

Nomnom
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Kid with ADD

Postby Seow Ting Ting » Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:15 pm

what is the difference with Add and adhd?

Seow Ting Ting
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2012 8:30 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Kid with ADD

Postby liawkaiping » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:37 pm

Hi! It's Justin here. I'm a student, and was diagnosed with ADHD when I was about P2. I had problems coping at school, but pulled through. One thing that helped was making charts for everything. I liked having regular things like specific meals each day, because ADHD kids don't like change very much. Also use encouragement more than punishment. Maybe go see a counselor or psychiatrist for test first?
Good luck!

liawkaiping
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:30 pm
Total Likes: 0



Return to Working With Your Child