Our dream child - Too good to believe

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Our dream child - Too good to believe

Postby tianzhu » Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:54 am

Our dream child – Too good to believe

A dream child, an independent learner who possesses an inquiring mind to find out more, often driven by his love of learning and is motivated to score consistently high marks.

Is it possible or such kids only appear in our dreams?
What are the qualities of an independent learner and how can we cultivate them in our children?

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Re: Our dream child - Too good to believe

Postby ChiefKiasu » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:22 am

Beware what you wish for. Sometimes, even though it is frustrating, I'm actually secretively glad that my son tends to be more laid back with a devil-may-care mentality because that helps him to stay relaxed in situations where even we as parents would be panicking.

An overachieving child with high expectations of himself/herself will have other problems - eg. ability to handle failure. Parents with such children must teach them how to manage this very important fact of life.

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Postby simplyjo » Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:09 am

My cousin is one as tianzhu had described "an independent learner who possesses an inquiring mind to find out more, often driven by his love of learning and is motivated to score consistently high marks." and he has problem as what ChiefKiasu had described "ability to handle failure"... He stressed himself and he will brood over 1 lost mark and keep asking himself why is he so careless... So, do you still wish for a "dream child"?

My dream child? As long as my girls are happy and healthy, they are my dream children... :wink:

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Postby jedamum » Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:37 pm

simplyjo wrote:My cousin is one as tianzhu had described "an independent learner who possesses an inquiring mind to find out more, often driven by his love of learning and is motivated to score consistently high marks." and he has problem as what ChiefKiasu had described "ability to handle failure"... He stressed himself and he will brood over 1 lost mark and keep asking himself why is he so careless... So, do you still wish for a "dream child"?

My dream child? As long as my girls are happy and healthy, they are my dream children... :wink:

:lol: I think I qualify as a dream 'child' and a dream 'employee' whereby i will beat myself up for falling short of a few marks towards perfection, and will put in 200% effort to score 99 out of 100marks. The focus is then on the result instead of the journey. I do not wish my boy to be like me 100%, but rather to take after his dad who constantly find ways to do things the shortcut way ('be efficient!' he said) and puts in 50% effort to score 80% marks. :D

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Re: Our dream child - Too good to believe

Postby heutistmeintag » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:28 pm

tianzhu wrote:Our dream child – Too good to believe

A dream child, an independent learner who possesses an inquiring mind to find out more, often driven by his love of learning and is motivated to score consistently high marks.

Is it possible or such kids only appear in our dreams?
What are the qualities of an independent learner and how can we cultivate them in our children?


I am sure it's possible in real life but IMHO, we should not neglect other qualities in the definition of a dream child. Another point - if my son is asked this question, he will ask what is a dream parent then and I would half guess his follow up response is someone who dont decide his life. So some food for thoughts on what/why are we defining for a dream child.

Anyway, my dream child -
1) an independent and diligent learner who possesses an inquiring mind to find out more, adaptive and be prepared to re-learn (from failures), and is motivated to do his best in his endeavours.
2) good character with morals and integrity
3) pleasant personality with compassion
4) healthy and happy
He or she doesnt have to be the best kid coz I still love them the same. :wink:

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Postby Shera » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:45 pm

Hmm, sorry to say this: I don't dare to hope for any perfect quality child as I am sure I am not that perfect parent too! :roll:

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Postby tamarind » Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:02 pm

Instead of hoping for a dream child with a list of perfect qualities, why not just accept our kids the way they are ?

I am more than happy with my girl, she is much better than anything I can ever dream of. Even though she does not do exactly what I want her to do, but that is absolutely fine with me.

I love my boy too, even though he always get sick, and he needs many repetitions to learn something new. I still love him the way he is. He is the sweetest boy that I know :D

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Postby EN » Fri Oct 10, 2008 12:03 pm

Sheera wrote
Hmm, sorry to say this: I don't dare to hope for any perfect quality child as I am sure I am not that perfect parent too!


:lol: My kids ever commented "You are the most perfect mummy in the world BUT there are times that you are ....." Whoa! there, they do have a long list of what my imperfections are.

Tianzhu wrote
A dream child, an independent learner who possesses an inquiring mind to find out more, often driven by his love of learning and is motivated to score consistently high marks.


My boy is a motivated individual. He is always up and about to learn new things on his own. But he is not driven by marks but only by the knowledged that he will gain.

How do I cultivate my child to have this quality? It's in him and don't think it's from the genes either :roll:

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Postby jedamum » Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:18 pm

EN wrote: :lol: My kids ever commented "You are the most perfect mummy in the world BUT there are times that you are ....." Whoa! there, they do have a long list of what my imperfections are.

My elder boy has dreams of me as a 'bad mother' as he put it. :roll: I guess it is a result of my occasional acts of pulling pranks at him to stretch his sense of humour (which is lacking). :P

EN wrote:My boy is a motivated individual. He is always up and about to learn new things on his own. But he is not driven by marks but only by the knowledged that he will gain.

Hey, that is pretty good already. That quality is actually better than those that are only driven by marks.

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Postby EN » Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:34 pm

Hi Jeda

My son should be a bit kiasu. Not driven by marks will make him a mediocre individual. Eg, his exam has a show & tell about his favourite fairy tale. I asked him to prepare. He told me, fairy tale are boring. Why can't he talk about favourite book on his subject of interest. So, he will put little effort in preparing for his show & tell because he is not driven by marks.

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