Time management for an anxious child

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Time management for an anxious child

Postby Breadandmuffins » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:15 pm

My P4 son gets anxious very easily whnever he thinks he is unable to do something. Had a hard time over the weekend when he had more homework than normal and also as a result of an increase in his CCA actvities. He stared at his compo homework for 2hrs while whinning that he had no time to finish his work. In actual fact, he could do a compo in 1hour easily. As he got more anxious and kept comin to me, the more he could not focus and complete the work. The next day, he had abt 2hrs in the afternoon and perhaps 1 hr at nite and again, he "dragged" his feet, whine and took 3hrs till midnite.(He had never done homework till midnite before).
Question is how am i suppose to handle the child if he is unable to finish his schoolwork? When I told him its just too late already and to hand it a day later, he is unwilling to do so and insist on continuing but still continue to sit there for the rest of the time without doing much. He knows his responsibilities and the fact that he needs to spend time on his other activities but the more he know, the more anxious he gets. It didnt help that I reminded him constantly of the increased in his school activities plus the coming CA1. It had been like that for the last 3 day days and that compo is still not completed yet. I really dread it later when he comes back later with that work again. Really at my wits end......

Breadandmuffins
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Re: Time management for an anxious child

Postby beanbear » Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:39 pm

Do you have a clear structure for homework? For eg use of timers, schedule. I get my children to estimate how much they need for each piece of homework. They then put the digital timer on their desk and do the piece of work. (I've 3 timers in the house - one for each child). They can only get off the chair after each segment of 45mins for 5mins break. For long pieces of homework, they break the homework into smaller pieces. I try to keep things motivating for the child. If they do their work efficiently and the quality is well-done, they get to extra playtime or tv.

My children have a scheduled timeslot for homework - once between 3.00-4.30pm in the afternoons and if they can't finish, there's another timeslot from 7.30-8.30pm. I'm also a very good enforcer of structures so my children know I mean business. Even if I'm not around, my maid knows what the children are supposed to do and the enforcer will carry out the appropriate intervention when she returns. This system has worked very well for my 3 kids.

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Re: Time management for an anxious child

Postby Breadandmuffins » Thu Feb 16, 2012 1:50 pm

thanks for the reply. He has a certain routine but it was disrupted by the increased in CCA. The underlying problem I see is the anxiety in him rather than the lack of structure. Being a pessimistic child and quite a perfectionist, he gets anxious and worried very easily which affects his mood, attitude towards his work as well as in school. He was also sick efore the weekend and felt tired. He also missed school for the first time due to competitions. All these changes happened together and his routine was disrupted. Since these happened, he had been very quiet and tired and will only just finished his homework. I am not asking him to do any revision for CA1 anymore until he goes back to his usual self. Altho we kept telling him that he has to stay focus in his work as he is now training for his sports so time management is impt, we probably didnt do a good job of getting the message across, resulting in him getting more anxious. He stays back in school for his enrichment once a week, has piano lesson once a week, trains for his sports twice a week, and has no tuition for any subjects. For 3 afternoons, he is free so he will just do homework in afternoon then relax or do tingxie at nite, doesnt even need to prepare for spelling..but he needs the extra space to play downstairs, readbook and newspapers "disturb" siblings......

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Re: Time management for an anxious child

Postby pair » Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:05 pm

Some children become anxious quickly and at that time its very difficult to console them so we must take care of this that we should not put any pressure on them from our side.

pair
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Re: Time management for an anxious child

Postby fightingmom » Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:00 pm

You can get your DS to list down the homework for the day and then do those that are supposed to hand in tomorrow (sometimes my DS teachers gave homework but to be handed in 2 or 3 days later). Once he finished, he can tick off the homework that was completed. By doing so, he can clearly see what he is supposed to finish and not be overwhelmed by the sheer load of it.

Time your DS. If it is compo, the child should finish within 50 mins and that is inclusive of planning the plot and writing it out. It is also training him to work within the exam time frame.

If he is still anxious, then i suggest that you seriously talk to your DS whether to drop the CCA to a non-competitve one (i presume his CCA is a competitve sports ?) The "decision-making" has to come from him so that he takes responsibility. If he likes his CCA and wants to continue it, then he really has to put an effort to focus at the NOW and just finish off the homework on hand.

my 2-cents worth of thoughts :smile:

fightingmom
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