Does my kid need professional help?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Does my kid need professional help?

Postby SandS » Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:58 am

Hi all,
I am seeking your opinions on my daughter's behaviour/character. I am getting more and more worried about her.

My daughter is a year end child and will be in P1 next year. Since she was little, on and off I always wondered if she needed some form of professional help. I remember my brother did asked me the same question; but I brush it off thinking that it may be just a passing phrase.

My gal is very timid/fearful even when she was just a couple of months old (scared of sad/angry pictures; scared of different types of rugs). Initially we thought, maybe she’s still young and she will outgrow it.

It didnt and as she grows older and learn more things, her fear seems to keep increasing.

For eg :
When she learns of dinosaur and how meteorite might have killed them, she is afraid that meteorite will hit Singapore.
Or when she hear of Noah’s Ark and how it rained, she is worried that Singapore will flood.
Or during the time she learn about the 3Rs, she told me she is worried that the garbage area will be overfilled with garbage from the world and there is no more place to throw the garbage.
Or that there is no more trees and we don’t have enough oxygen.
Now she is learning about the human body/brain, and she is afraid that something will happen to her brain. Or if she gets gallstones.

Most of the time when she tells me that, her eyes will be filled with tears. And asking me the hows? What ifs? I will re-assurance her but yet, sometimes after a few days or weeks.. she will tell me the same thing.

Starting end of last year, she wants me to sleep and hug her throughout the night. She will wake up crying/whining in the middle of the nite if she stirred and realized I am not hugging her. (We never had the habit of hugging her to zzz when she was younger; and she slept on her own bed previously).

She is even afraid of the tiniest ant that is crawling on the floor. She will be screaming and running away, like she has seen something very frightening. You know those kinda scream that makes your heart jump? Needless to say, any types of bigger insects will set her off crying/screaming hysterically.

At one time, I thought she have outgrown this phrase, when she started wanting to go up stage for any performance/answer questions (previously she was afraid as well). But then suddenly it become worse (the wanting me to hug her throughout the night & worrying about everything)

Not sure if this is linked but she also seems to be hypochondriac (loosely used), everyday I will hear of a complain of pain. Different pain, different areas. I brought her to doctors who dismiss some of the pain. She loves plasters (any dot on her body and she will insist on having a plaster over it).

In your opinion, is this normal? Have any of you come across this before? Do I need to seek professional help?

SandS
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2011 12:59 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby Lilac66 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:52 pm

In my opinion, you should seek professional help.

When my DS was younger, he had these fears but it was a passing phase. Your DD's case seems to get worse as she grows older. I believe if you do seek some help now, it's still not too late.

Do not worry too much about it, it should improve over time with intervention. Take care!

Lilac66
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2716
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:25 pm
Total Likes: 21


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby agent66 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:30 pm

My gal is in P2 this year and she is by nature, timid, since young. Always scared too but lesser, compared to your gal.

However, last week, one incident triggered her fear to full blown scale. She will cry every nite and can't sleep well. I brought her to Polyclinic to get referral but the appointment date is in April.

Judging the condition seemed worse daily, I brought her to a pte psychiatric at Adam Road Hospital. It was confirmed she is suffering from anxiety separation disorder. Advice given was she needs time to warm up and needs to go counselling. Separate counselling session at Care Corner was also arranged, which is due this Friday.

My friend sent me the following link and I was surprised my gal has all the symptoms posted.
http://www.worrywisekids.org/

I guess we just need to be very patient with our child and hope the counselling will help. For my case, I sort of know where her fear stem from. You may have to find out more from your daughter.

agent66
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 10:24 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby Lilac66 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 2:43 pm

Agree that patience is very much needed in dealing with children like that.

Btw, I hope agent66 is not sent to spy on lilac66. :cool:

Lilac66
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2716
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:25 pm
Total Likes: 21


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby agent66 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:48 pm

Lilac66, I must go training to be a spy first.

agent66
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 10:24 am
Total Likes: 0



Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby SandS » Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:14 pm

agent66 wrote:My friend sent me the following link and I was surprised my gal has all the symptoms posted.
http://www.worrywisekids.org/


Hi,
Thank you very much for sharing about your girl. At least I know I am not alone. This link is good. My girl has many of the GAD symptoms described. Can you pm me the details of the pte psychiatrist and the cost involved?

I did :scratchhead: when i saw the replies from 2 66s :lol:

SandS
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2011 12:59 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby Funz » Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:06 pm

My girl was like that too.

Watch Tom & Jerry and in 1 episode, Tom supposedly died, she cried and could not sleep and banned everyone from watching T&J. Read her stories of Little Match Girl and she could not sleep too. Loud noises upset her as well. That was when she was 2 plus.

She screamed and cried hysterically over any flying insects, moth, flying ants, butterflies. That lasted until she was about 5yrs old. Today she is still jittery about some insects but no more hysterics.

A fire occured in a unit in the condo across from our place, she had nightmares for a few days. She kept worrying about our house burning down. She read about the earthquakes and tsunami in other countries, she worry about earthquakes in Singapore and our building will crumble down on us. She worried about going on holidays and will ask about which country has volcanoes, in the quake zone, tornado/hurricane and will request not to go to those countries. She is still like that today but more manageable and able to accept reasoning. She is 9yrs old this year.

Last year for weeks she was losing sleep about 2012 being end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. Had to assure her again and again.

Till today, if she reads or watches anything too exciting before she sleeps, she will come to our room and climb onto our bed in the middle of the night.

However, aside from all these, she still goes about her daily routine fairly normally. She is still chirpy and full of energy. We are the ones who are drained. :razz:

Honestly I did think of consulting a child psychologist. But each time when we think DD or rather we are at breaking point she will suddenly be ok again. :roll:

But symptoms aside, I guess the most important thing is are these symptoms affecting your child's ability to continue with her daily routine or preventing her from enjoying stuff that she normally does. With DD, she was still able to function as per normal most of the time. So we handled it from there.

If you feel there is a need to consult a professional, go ahead, there is no harm in it. But whatever the diagnosis, whether therapy needed or not, your DD's behaviour will take time to change or for her to really manage her emotions. So yes, patience, lots and lots of it. And faith that your DD will be fine.

Funz
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 10823
Joined: Wed May 27, 2009 12:48 pm
Total Likes: 318


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby Lilac66 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:46 pm

agent66 wrote:Lilac66, I must go training to be a spy first.



Can join you in training also :boogie: . Need lobang for part-time job. :lol:

Lilac66
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2716
Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:25 pm
Total Likes: 21


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby jedamum » Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:18 pm

my P4 boy also timid since young.
he now sleeps with his windows closed after reading about Aedes mosquitoes feeding habits. and he screams(!! ok, he toned it down already, but can still see his anxious look) at the sight of flying or crawling insects. and squirm at the sight/thought of blood/pic of internal organs. never watched/read ghost/horror stories cos i know he cannot handle.
and he is a boy! :slapshead:
some time ago, he read about mas selamat's escape and was concerned about home security at that time. but i was always there to address his concern and misconception at times, so not so bad.
nowdays 'training' him to kill ants (sorry ants) on the dining table...at least he is willing to do it (encouragement from his little brother!)...he prefers to drown them because no need to touch them. :roll:

jedamum
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 8519
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:58 pm
Total Likes: 20


Re: Does my kid need professional help?

Postby agent66 » Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:41 pm

Oh gosh. What is happening to our kids?

agent66
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 10:24 am
Total Likes: 0


Next

Return to Working With Your Child