Is it possible to give equal attention?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Is it possible to give equal attention?

Postby rocklee » Fri May 22, 2009 3:59 pm

Last year, my younger boy stunned me with this question, "Mummy, why did you give birth to gor gor first and not me?" I was speechless cos I didn't know how to answer him. I was puzzled why he asked this question and after some probing, I realised that he was jealous that I gave more attention to gor gor. I had to explain to him that gor gor in pri sch already and needed mummy's help. I assured him that I would render similar help when his turn come. To futher assure him that mummy still love him dearly, I would give him a big hug first whenever I reach home. I give my children the same treatment when it comes to buying toys, clothes, books etc. However, I find it impossible to give the same attention simply because they have different needs. It is possible to carry out some activities together but when come to studies, I find it tough to split the time equally.

rocklee
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Re: Is it possible to give equal attention?

Postby Luvkid » Sat May 23, 2009 12:48 am

rocklee wrote: I realised that he was jealous that I gave more attention to gor gor...... It is possible to carry out some activities together but when come to studies, I find it tough to split the time equally.


I was caught in the same situation too. Initially, when i spent time (study)with my elder boy, my little one will sure come and "join in". I told him, as what u did, that "gor gor needs my help in study, next time when u start schooling, i will do the same to u." Repeated for upteem times. Now he seldom comes to me when i was with my elder boy.

I spend time reading to them before their bedtime. Each is allowed to choose the books they want. But not too long story, cos mummy also very tired :tongue: Bring them for outing that both enjoys will be ideal! :celebrate: Studying together could be possible, though i have not tried yet. Let your little one sits together and gives him something easier that he can manage alone. And praise him when the elder one is doing his work. I will be trying out in 2 years time. :roll:

Luvkid
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Postby tamarind » Fri May 29, 2009 9:46 am

When I told my little boy that Jie Jie came out from my tummy first, he also asked me why.

I told him that at the beginning both he and his Jie Jie were as small as ants. Jie Jie crawled into my tummy first, that is why she came out first. He was slower, that was why he came out second. Then he understood very well, because he knows that if he runs slower than Jie Jie, she will get to things before he does.

However, he did not ask me this because he felt that I spent less time with him. Everyday after I return from work, I make sure that I hear him read aloud at least one page to me. Then I make sure that my older girl also read to me. If I have time to teach him maths, I make sure that I teach my girl maths too. If we do other activities, like making things out of air dry clay, building a model loghouse, etc, I make sure that I do it with both of them, taking turns. I try my best to give them equal amounts of attention.

tamarind
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