Ostracize?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Ostracize?

Postby smurf » Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:24 pm

It seems that my p2 is now being ostracise by his schoolmates.

He used to tell me his best friend is who and who and seems to have a lot of friends, but this time round, I dunno why he cried when I asked him about his friends. He said nobody wants to friend him anymore. I probe him further and I think it has something to do with his character.

He is the 'policeman' sort. If he catch someone doing something notty, he will said (to that person), ' I tell ah, I tell teacher! ' although sometime he won't tell teacher. I suspect it's because of this that he is being ostracised by his friends. And one friend even asked him to leave the school. And they are in p2 only.

I told him not to do that, because if he does that, his friends might think that he is a spy of the teacher. He doesn't want to listen to this advise and insisted that he is right. And that he SHOULD inform the teacher if he see anything 'bullying' going on (even though it's just playing and not really bully).

Anything else I should do to make him understand? He insisted that he is right. And others are wrong.

smurf
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Re: Ostracize?

Postby Busymom » Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:17 am

How about getting him to read some books about tattling?

We have one by Joe Berry under the Help Me Be Good series - A Children's Book About Tattling.

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Re: Ostracize?

Postby smurf » Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:23 am

Thanks! thats very helpful...! )

I explained to him that 'reporting' his friends to teacher may cause them to be punished and that, will cause him to lose his friends. he sort of understand, but to change this kind of behaviour is not that easy. because he has been doing it so often..sigh..

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Re: Ostracize?

Postby cherrygal » Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:20 pm

DS did that too at his student care! I told him this behaviour could bring about 杀身之祸 in future. If he wants to tattle, tattle on the sly without warning the perpetrator that he is gonna tell the teacher... hahaha

Told him the scenario if he sees gangsters doing something bad, he better not tell them he was gonna call the police coz he may just get killed. He can tell the police later. DS became more mindful after this.

Plus, if his friends are so naughty, he is better off without them as friends. Must carefully toe the line where he could think it's ok to abet a crime...

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Re: Ostracize?

Postby LOLMum » Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:38 pm

杀身之祸 :scared:


sometimes it is difficult to tell if a child is misbehaving or just playing.

on one hand, it is good that the child knows the difference between right and wrong but on the other hand, not so good if he is inflexible in dealing with it. luckily he is still a child, still has ample time to sort this out.

even though the teacher might not like it (every small little thing goes to her, also will get bek che), i wont discourage my child going to her.

just remember not to say "i wil tell teacher" cos it is a threat and kids dont like it.

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Re: Ostracize?

Postby mother777 » Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:46 pm

well, yesterday I went with my DD1's class to a mushroom farm excursion.
during the trip, two of the girls fought each other. So one of the girl came to my DD1 (who is a prefect) and complanined that she should note down the other girls name as she is being naughty. she was complaining that she does not want to sit next to other girl anymore etc etc.

I just observed my girl. She was getting confused about what to do? later after I came home, I told her that being a prefect is big responsibility. She should be impartial to all kids and not listen to any one of her friend to note down someone's name and then tell teacher to punish.

hope she understood..this is such young age for kids to be easily confused between personal emotions and impartial behaviour

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Re: Ostracize?

Postby smurf » Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:31 pm

Think after explanation, he sort of understand and tried to understand his friends situation. But, hard habit is hard to change...he has to change his character, coz he is so used to saying ' tell ah tell ah...' it became a nature for him.

Cherrygal,

Your example of ganster fighting is v good!

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Re: Ostracize?

Postby cherrygal » Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:03 am

Thank you smurf :) ... we watch a lot of TV so I use some material from dramas or crime watch to bring across a point.

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