advice Required

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

advice Required

Postby Charnic » Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:32 am

Dear all,
How would you interpret when a 10 years old has been recollecting the past and confess to you over issues like copying homework, mock test or even peep during exams ? Is she under stress or just part of growing up ? Just got a feel that something isn't right? Pls share your views.

Charnic
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Re: advice Required

Postby cnimed » Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:23 am

I think she sounds a bit overwhelmed. Or she may be telling you because she has been caught and the teacher threatened to call you soon, so she thought she had better tell you first. It happened with my son - "forgetting" his homework for weeks and weeks and he only confessed when the teacher said she was going to call me (she didn't).

Just listen calmly and see how much more comes out. Tell her you are glad she is sharing all this with you. If you freak out she may stop telling you and that's not good. After that, you can talk casually about academic stress, and gently ask which subject or areas does she find challenging. On your own, consider if she is managing her time well enough, if she is getting enough down time etc.

If you have a good relationship with the teacher, ask the teacher how she is coping in class - but don't tell her about the cheating!!
cnimed
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Re: advice Required

Postby LOLMum » Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:16 pm

cheating be it intentionally or not happens to almost everyone. not necessarily on a frequent basis. just once is enough to kill one who knows it is wrong thing to do.

copying homework, to me, that is very very common and nothing wrong with it. of course cant be every homework also copy (now that is wrong). i still remember rushing to class early in the morning just to copy the sums i dont know or forgot to do. :wink:

but i am so happy that your child has you to turn to for help and advice. dont turn her away by acting all high and mighty. :rahrah:

LOLMum
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Re: advice Required

Postby fightingmom » Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:22 pm

Hi CNS,

You mentioned "recollecting" the past - that means the deeds she mentioned were already done and over , right ? IMHO, i think your DD has been bottled up with such guilty feelings for quite some time and she is trying to "off load" by "confessng" to you.

I concur with deminc - let her tell you everything while you try to maintain your calm with occasional nodding of head to show that you are listening. Find out why she peeped in exam - is she overwhelmed with schoolwork, peer pressure or she simply lost in that subject and need help ?

She will appreciate you for listening her out rather than jumping to reprimand her. And yes, she will clamp up and might not share with you anymore of her "troubles".

You can also find out from the teachers via email or during the parent meeting to see how your kid behave in class, whether she is coping ok with peers and the subjects.

10 years old is still a tender age whether we have to guide and instill in them in the right values. In fact, I think you should feel happy that she confides in you knowing that she feels she is safe talking it out.

Hope it helps. :smile:

fightingmom
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Re: advice Required

Postby chenwj » Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:37 pm

Your child in Convent/Christian school?

chenwj
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