Do your children favour one parent over another?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Do you children favour one parent over another?

(1) Yes
10
83%
(2) No
2
17%
 
Total votes : 12

Do your children show favouritism over one parent?

Postby boringmum » Thu May 10, 2012 12:29 am

I have 2 chn, 1 P1 n 1 6mths old. My DS1 has always favored his daddy over me even before DS2 came along, so it has definitely got nothing to do DS2.

I love my 2 chn dearly and whenever (very often) DS1 shows favoritism, it hurts so badly. For e.g, DS1 will be very willing to share his favorite snack with his daddy but not me. :gloomy:

I do not have any favortism btw my 2 chn, in fact I give DS1 more attention as he is in P1 n I am helping with his schoolwork. I hug, kiss and tell him I love him daily, so I really do not know why this still happens.

This is not a recent occurrence, it started to show when he was in K1 (DS2 has not even come along yet) n he is still showing it now. Has anybody experienced this and can share your experience and advice?

boringmum
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Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby boringmum » Thu May 10, 2012 4:22 pm

I have 2 chn, 1 P1 n 1 6mths old. My DS1 has always favored his daddy over me even before DS2 came along, so it has definitely got nothing to do DS2.

I love my 2 chn dearly and whenever (very often) DS1 shows favoritism, it hurts so badly. For e.g, DS1 will be very willing to share his favorite snack with his daddy but not me.

I do not have any favortism btw my 2 chn, in fact I give DS1 more attention as he is in P1 n I am helping with his schoolwork. I hug, kiss and tell him I love him daily, so I really do not know why this still happens.

This is not a recent occurrence, it started to show when he was in K1 (DS2 has not even come along yet) n he is still showing it now. Has anybody experienced this and can share your experience and advice?

boringmum
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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby Sun_2010 » Thu May 10, 2012 4:38 pm

boringmum wrote:I have 2 chn, 1 P1 n 1 6mths old. My DS1 has always favored his daddy over me even before DS2 came along, so it has definitely got nothing to do DS2.

I love my 2 chn dearly and whenever (very often) DS1 shows favoritism, it hurts so badly. For e.g, DS1 will be very willing to share his favorite snack with his daddy but not me.

I do not have any favortism btw my 2 chn, in fact I give DS1 more attention as he is in P1 n I am helping with his schoolwork. I hug, kiss and tell him I love him daily, so I really do not know why this still happens.

This is not a recent occurrence, it started to show when he was in K1 (DS2 has not even come along yet) n he is still showing it now. Has anybody experienced this and can share your experience and advice?

:snuggles:
Boringmum, children tend to like their daddies more.
Mommies nag, get them to do the right thing
daddies buy stuff, give permission to do anything as long as the neighbours will not all 999, convince mommy to bend rules, close both eyes when the child doesnt do what he is supposed to do or does what he isnt supposed to do.
Tell me who would like mummy?
But the secret is though they dont like mummy, but they cant help loving mummy . So let go, and know in your heart he loves you.

Sun_2010
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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby Sun_2010 » Thu May 10, 2012 4:39 pm

Let me tell you my story,
I quit my job to stay with my kids the first 3 years of childhood since i believed that atleast this crutial period I should be the main caregiver. Once, when DS was 1 year old and DD 7, I had to go out for 3 hrs in the morning ( at 7 am). So after having made all work was done - Plan A and Plan B in place, repeated instructions to DH, I left . All the way I was worried as DS would be grumpy when he woke up and could not see me.
I rushed back as soon as i could. What do I see, the three having a great time. DH proudly told me that the two kids did not even realise I was not around. Boy did my ego take a beating that day!

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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby boringmum » Thu May 10, 2012 6:46 pm

:snuggles:
Boringmum, children tend to like their daddies more.
Mommies nag, get them to do the right thing
daddies buy stuff, give permission to do anything as long as the neighbours will not all 999, convince mommy to bend rules, close both eyes when the child doesnt do what he is supposed to do or does what he isnt supposed to do.
Tell me who would like mummy?
But the secret is though they dont like mummy, but they cant help loving mummy . So let go, and know in your heart he loves you.[/quote]
:thankyou: Sun_2010, I feel more assured now.
:goodpost:

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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby piglet and calf » Thu May 10, 2012 7:11 pm

Both my kids also show preference. They prefer me to their daddy. However, whenever I am not around, they will still look for their daddy instead of the helper. I guess that's because I spend more time with them when they r young, playing, reading and taking care of their routine even though I am a full time working mummy, while hb spend lots of time at work. Still, my kids have a good relationship with their daddy too. :)

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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby cherrygal » Thu May 10, 2012 9:19 pm

DH and I discipline as a team. DS knows he cannot manipulate his daddy. In fact, his daddy is more stingy and stricter than me... I am the one who scolds and nags but I am also the one who buys the presents and cakes.

So, the kids will prefer their daddies if the daddies are not disciplinarians. They are playmates and leave the dirty jobs to the mummies.

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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby Imami » Thu May 10, 2012 10:49 pm

I think my child favors one parent over the other but I don't know which parent does he favour over.

He looks for me when he's tired, thirsty, hungry, anger, frightened, needs help (e.g. To open up a box of new toy). This is even when his father is just next to him and I am all the way in the kitchen/toilet.

Once, we were shopping in vivo city. To save time, I went ahead into a pharmacy first while hunt and child tagged along behind. Then, child was about two And a half years old. There was this mascot from an optical shop - a big eyeball - walking around giving out flyers. Son was terrified. Hubby said son was practically begging and trying to climb up hubby's legs (asking hubby to carry him). Hubby said son was shaking in fear and wanted to stay as far away from the big eyeball. But when he realized that the mascot was going the pharmacy's direction (where I was heading), son actually asked hubby to go fter the mascot so that he could warn mummy.

Son prefers to play with and hang around with hubby. He always laughed so happily when hubby played with him. Mummy was sort of an outcast in such situations. My son seems to know I feel left out.very often, he would suddenly drop all his toys, run into my embrace and nuzzle his face around my chest area.

When eating out, he always want his father to sit beside him.but I help him with his food so I always insist that I sit next to him. He gives in all the time.

When I am sad, he would hug me and try to cheer me up. When I felt aggrieved and was crying, he would console me. He even said he only kiss me (which is probably true as I have never seen him kissing hubby).

I feel that his father is like his best friend. While I am just his caregiver.. I don't know... But I believe he knows I play an important role in his life and that he can depend in me.

Imami
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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby Imami » Thu May 10, 2012 10:55 pm

Oh yes, he gets very upset when he knows I am not happy with him. He would try to win back my affection and concurrence. When his father reprimand him, he was cry and show his unhappiness, ran to me to complain about the father. I would explain the situation to him and convince him that hubby has appoint and son should 'repent' and apologize. His father will always soften up again after the son apologize and then they would reunite and mummy is once gagain forgotten...

Imami
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Re: Do your children favour one parent over another?

Postby slmkhoo » Fri May 11, 2012 8:06 am

How does your husband react when he is favoured? Would he be willing to help even things out? When my kids were young, they favoured me as I was their full-time carer, even though I was very strict with them. What I did was make opportunities for my husband to spend time with them without my presence (I would go and run an errand, hide in the bathroom etc), so they could read a book, play a game etc. If they offered me some treat, I would ask that they also offer it to my husband, giving the reason that I was sad that he was left out. Over time, the strong preference was not so obvious, although I was (and still am) the first one they turn to when hungry, sick or in trouble.

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