Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

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Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

Postby GabyEn » Wed May 23, 2012 10:28 am

In Spore's relentless pursuit of academic excellence and the race by parents to get their children academically ready for Primary school, one wonders, if the child, who is 3,4 or 5 years old, are foundationally ready to handle the deluge of academic subjects, and in the process, being able to handle the emotions that developed, eg: managing stress, anger, developing a resilient attitude to setbacks, being able to relate to their peers when their friends may not be able to catch-up?

I just went for the PTM for my girl who is K1. Am abit rattled by teachers' comments that she is slow in completing her work and that in a class with so many children, the teacher said that she has no time to work with her. Teacher said that if she doesn't speed up, she will be left behind in Primary school. While that comment is a reality, but I am saddened by the fact that at age 5, she is beginning to experience the rat race!

GabyEn
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Re: Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

Postby Jennifer » Wed May 30, 2012 12:48 pm

GabyEn wrote:In Spore's relentless pursuit of academic excellence and the race by parents to get their children academically ready for Primary school, one wonders, if the child, who is 3,4 or 5 years old, are foundationally ready to handle the deluge of academic subjects, and in the process, being able to handle the emotions that developed, eg: managing stress, anger, developing a resilient attitude to setbacks, being able to relate to their peers when their friends may not be able to catch-up?

I just went for the PTM for my girl who is K1. Am abit rattled by teachers' comments that she is slow in completing her work and that in a class with so many children, the teacher said that she has no time to work with her. Teacher said that if she doesn't speed up, she will be left behind in Primary school. While that comment is a reality, but I am saddened by the fact that at age 5, she is beginning to experience the rat race!


When my elder boy was in kindy, he was also slow in completing his work. Imagine our pleasant surprise when he was started pri sch education- finished all his work in sch, seldom bring back any work home, somemore could be among the top 3 pupils in the class from pri 1 to pri 3.

Your girl's kindy teacher might be worrying unnecessarily.

BUT, if the class is too big, you might want to consider how much real learning the teacher is giving.

Jennifer
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Re: Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

Postby hokkiengirl » Wed May 30, 2012 1:10 pm

GabyEn wrote:In Spore's relentless pursuit of academic excellence and the race by parents to get their children academically ready for Primary school, one wonders, if the child, who is 3,4 or 5 years old, are foundationally ready to handle the deluge of academic subjects, and in the process, being able to handle the emotions that developed, eg: managing stress, anger, developing a resilient attitude to setbacks, being able to relate to their peers when their friends may not be able to catch-up?

I just went for the PTM for my girl who is K1. Am abit rattled by teachers' comments that she is slow in completing her work and that in a class with so many children, the teacher said that she has no time to work with her. Teacher said that if she doesn't speed up, she will be left behind in Primary school. While that comment is a reality, but I am saddened by the fact that at age 5, she is beginning to experience the rat race!


I know how you feel! Take the teachers' comments with a pinch of salt. They may have the best of intentions in telling you these 'things' about your child, as they may not want her to feel lost in P1. I won't call them facts cos at 5 years of age, there really is no point labelling kids as 'slow' or 'advanced', etc. I have taught students who topped their cohort in primary school. Fast-forward a number of years, and they are lagging far, far behind their peers as they are not used to thinking, a fundamental attribute needed for excellence (and survival!!!)

Children can develop very quickly and suddenly if given the space, time and encouragement. As long as your child tries most of the time, I think that is all we can ask for us parents. I speak as a parent of a not-so-fast child myself. But my boy is doing very well now, by my standards! :) As the kids enter the fast and furious world of primary school, I think we need to stand firm as their guardians to reassure them when they are teased or put down at school and to push them when they become lazy and complacent.

As long as we refuse to see our children as rats, they won't be in the rat race. They'll just be happy bunnies / puppies / kittens (insert your favourite animal) ambling along while the rodents charge ahead. And I believe that there's always a future in the world for a happy bunny!

hokkiengirl
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Re: Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

Postby Sun_2010 » Wed May 30, 2012 2:21 pm

hokkiengirl wrote: the fast and furious world of primary school



Sad isnt it :roll:

hokkiengirl wrote:
As long as we refuse to see our children as rats, they won't be in the rat race. They'll just be happy bunnies / puppies / kittens (insert your favourite animal) ambling along while the rodents charge ahead.


I just love this imagery.

The rats better be racing when my kitten blossoms into a cat .... :evil:

GabyEn ,
Welcome to education in Singapore.

It takes an effort not to get carried away. Teachers are well intentioned, after the intial anxiety, assess and see what is applicable to your child, how much are the tradeoff and follow your heart.

My DDs well meaning pre-school teachers warned me too that she is takes too much time to do her work. I oscillated between worrying and keeping things in prespective and resigning to fate :wink: . She is flourishing well so far ( keeping fingers crossed)

So dont worry too much, talk to her about it, and just let her grow at her pace.

Sun_2010
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Re: Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

Postby cherrygal » Wed May 30, 2012 3:39 pm

Definitely needs a balance. In fact, as they grow older, EQ is even more important. DS is seriously lacking in this area and I am vomiting blood teaching him how to be polite, considerate, manage his emotions etc...

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Re: Need for balance between IQ vs EQ?

Postby hokkiengirl » Wed May 30, 2012 9:59 pm

Sun_2010 wrote:
The rats better be racing when my kitten blossoms into a cat .... :evil:



Good one!!! Yeah!!! From kitten to lean, mean feline machine! :rahrah:

I think so many of us are anxious about the kids' futures because we don't see less popular careers as viable. I think we would all love to see our kids become doctors (surgeon, even better still), lawyers, accountants, etc, cos it means that the kids are have assured futures, in the financial sense at least. We need to recognise that there are excellent opportunities in other fields: property/insurance agent, plumber, photographer, tailor, etc.

It's just a pity that most of us no longer have family businesses to go into. Otherwise, last time, if a kid couldn't study, he would just go help out in the family business. Less stress about not doing brilliantly in school. Note that a lot of the experts in their fields today had some family background in their work. (Peranakan beading, tailoring, cooking, small businesses) If my child couldn't study, I would encourage him to do research and create a kick-ass version of mee pok or lor mee. Seriously. I think there is a tremendous amount of money to be made in quality hawker fare. It's hard work, but so is being a lawyer or an accountant! And my family business in the past had to do with... food! Great-grandma used to sell kueh and food during WW2 to feed the family. :smile:

Let's give our kids the confidence to face the future with whatever they have! There's definitely EQ there and perhaps different kinds of IQ.

hokkiengirl
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