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The Big Caning Poll

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Is it OK to cane your child?

No, it is never OK to cane your child, boy or girl.
26
19%
Yes, there are circumstances where it is OK.
111
81%
 
Total votes : 137

Re: The Big Caning Poll

Postby Goatbeard » Wed May 24, 2017 9:34 am

There are times when I see a misbehave and anti-social kid and I hope a cane could come in handy. Certain times, I even hope that someone will give him an electric shock to make him stop what he is doing.

However my personal experience has taught me that corporal punishment hasn't worked. In fact, it deteriorates my relationship with my child. I dropped all forms of physical punishment when my child turned 6 after I realised a cane in hand stops every form of communication with the child. I still maintained occasional scolding but I see myself dropping that soon as well as the child approaches teenage. It doesn't help me or the child to be in constant aggression and I don't really want a child to role-model such parenting when he/she grows up to have children of their own.

Goatbeard
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Re: The Big Caning Poll

Postby FishFingers » Fri Jun 16, 2017 12:24 am

Never spare the rod and spoil the child.

FishFingers
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Re: The Big Caning Poll

Postby foodie4stuff » Sun Jul 30, 2017 11:58 am

what to do if my son can actually bear the pain from canning? Any ideas to share?

foodie4stuff
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Re: The Big Caning Poll

Postby slmkhoo » Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:44 pm

foodie4stuff wrote:what to do if my son can actually bear the pain from canning? Any ideas to share?

Think about what he dislikes most. It sunds sadistic, but really, the idea of punishment is to inflict just enough pain (physical or otherwise) for the child to realise the seriousness of his fault and push him to behave in the desired way. The "pain" could be deprivation of some privilege for a fixed amount of time, additional chores or duties, apologising and putting something right etc. No point using a method that he doesn't mind.

slmkhoo
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Re: The Big Caning Poll

Postby ammonite » Sun Jul 30, 2017 3:28 pm

foodie4stuff wrote:what to do if my son can actually bear the pain from canning? Any ideas to share?


:scared: I would be very careful. How old is he, what did he do, why do you think he can bear the pain? You may have a situation on hand.
Firstly, you have to stop using the cane, that much is clear.
Secondly, do you think he deserve caning or was it a flawed judgement on your part? You have to be honest with yourself.
Thirdly, does he think he deserve caning? Why and why not? How well do you know him?
Fourthly, if he can bear the pain and you think you really did hit hard, did caning make him angrier and more defiant? If so, the pain he feels will harden his heart against you.
Finally, observe him at other situations especially his reaction to pain. Some individuals are less sensitive to pain, and depending on degree, this has other implications that you should be aware of. Reduced pain sensitivity may cause him to take greater risk, be more prone to injuries, and also more likely to cause hurt to others and himself. It may also affect empathy because he doesn't know what it is like.

Please take a long term view on this.

ammonite
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