Stressed parent

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Stressed parent

Postby OrangeTree » Thu Jul 12, 2012 2:02 pm

My daughter will be starting p5 next year, throughout this year i have started doing work with her at home.We do not do nearly as much as many other parents around 1.5 hours some days but less on others, but she is still so definant.We arrange a timetsble to start work but still she cries and runs away most of the time- wasting time.Some days she will work properly but others she will be terrible.Yesterday she promised she would start later because she had been on a trip and i agreed, but when the time came to sit down she kept on saying "later".We started but she could not concentrate, as kept on talking to brother - i got angry and left her and cried. We had visited the secondary school that day and the school was wonderful. I just fear she won't gain a place as I know the level others are doing and I am tired of making her work when she does not listen. Can anyone offer any help?

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby cherrygal » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:02 pm

Maybe a school counsellor or a wise relative she's close to (eg. grandparent) can help talk to her.

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby gretelgretel » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:14 pm

We parents encounter the same problem from time to time, so do not despair. My solution is prayer. My friend told me that when all else fails, look up to God. It worked for me. Try it!

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby Studious Alien » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:37 pm

Keep all distractions away from her (eg. iPad) and tell her that she has to finish her work with quality by a certain time before she can start playing computer games or watch TV. Also, try to keep her brother away from her to prevent any disturbance.

That should work out as it proved effective in my case

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby Guest » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:46 pm

Is there something your child wants badly?
There is something my child wants but I refuse to give.
So she learns how to earn her rights to use it for a day.
She finds that it is a game.
To be fair for your assessment, to start with, she is already a motivated kid but this game spurs her on even more.
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Re: Stressed parent

Postby 2boysmummy » Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:12 pm

My son is 6 plus and he is the same. Sometimes he is good, others not. Just make it clear to her she has to finish her work. Somehow, we as parent need to make things interesting for them. Make them curious about learning. My son loves crossword puzzles but hate spelling. So, I create my own crossword puzzle and he in turn create one for me too.

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby breezy » Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:34 pm

Can totally identify with your frustration...

Instead of a stretch of 1.5 hrs of revision, u may like to consider bite-size work. Eg. 10 Maths MCQ, 5 science opened-end, 3 sections of english paper 1. Let her do one piece of work at a time, after a break of say 30 mins, another piece. You could also consider changing the place of work. Eg. taking her to a park downstairs, putting a small table at the corridor etc.

U can even motivate her by saying that if she gets them all correct, there'll be a little treat or a rest day from work.

hope this helps.... jiayou!

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby Chenonceau » Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:41 pm

OrangeTree... you have a Private Message from me.

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby mommylow » Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:00 am

My DD is P4 this year and also shows the same study attitude....unmotivated and laid back. I motivate her to get extra work or revision done ( excluding school work) by promising her 20 mins of i-pad time or a favorite snack (healthy choice) as she loves eating. It works. I realize that it is better to coax and encourage than to lose our cool or make threats to get children to co-operate. Make them understand that they are responsible for their own studies and to be captain of their own ship.

Also try to make learning fun and productive by feeding positive words rather than negative nagging. Nagging truly irks a child and kills interest in learning. I try to make each lesson I have with my kids as pleasant and fun as I can so they actually look forward to sitting down with me the next time.

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Re: Stressed parent

Postby Apricot » Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:27 pm

Don't give up, Orangetree. No kid enjoys studying vs playing but we need to try to motivate them and instil the virtue of discipline. With my dd, we came up with a study timetable TOGETHER. In allowing her to participate, she is more likely to commit. There were `free time' slots which she could use for her pleasure. However, if she fails to adhere to the schedule, these `free time' slots will be forfeited and used for completing what she did not do. Occasionally, there would be special treats for her if she was faithful to her tasks and `punishment' like more work if continual slack.

At times, when she feels tired and wants to deviate, I would LET HER SUGGEST to me an alternative time which we can both agree on. In allowing her to negotiate, she feels happier and likely to complete the task. I also remind her that she need to commit to her word, failing which the next time, there will be no room for negotiation and she has to follow my schedule. She is agreeable to my reasonable stance. My ultimate goal is that she will be responsible enough to manage her time on her own as she grows older. Hopefully, I can relax then :lol:

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