Vulgar words

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Vulgar words

Postby rocklee » Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:06 pm

Recently, my DS1 picked up a couple of vulgar words from the upp primary boys from the same sch bus. He came back and asked me abt the meaning of the F word and meaning of "700" in chinese. I was totally shocked to hear that. Immediately, I explained to him that those were vulgar words and he should never say them at all. I further explained that he should ignore his friends if they ever utter those words again. However, he was not convinced and asked what so vulgar abt it? I was speechless and I could only threaten him that if anyone were to catch him saying those words, he would have to see the principal as it is a very serious offence. I just hope he gets my message...

How would you deal with such a situation? Any advice?

rocklee
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Re: Vulgar words

Postby ChiefKiasu » Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:25 pm

Sorry... this is a little off-topic, but it reminds me of a game show on radio during the early 90s, where they get kids to call in and answer questions for prizes. I can't remember the name of the show... but here's a version of what allegedly happened:

DJ: OK... we are going to give you the name of an animal, and you tell us what is the opposite sex of that animal.
Boy: OK.
DJ: What's the male of a cow?
Boy: BULL!
DJ: Correct! Next... what's the female of a cock?
Boy: Err....
DJ: Come on... I'm sure you know the answer.
Boy: I... I cannot say...
DJ: Sure you can. Just say it and you'll get the prize!
Boy: "七百"
DJ: ... complete silence for precious radio seconds...

Heard the show was cancelled soon after.

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Re: Vulgar words

Postby jedamum » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:21 am

rocklee,
my ds1 doesn't know what vulgar means. but he sure knows that some words are 'bad' words. (he knows it from watching http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpongeBob_ ... _(season_2)#Sailor_Mouth_.2F_Artist_Unknown
:wink:)
i told him that some people may feel offended hearing such words (the words he heard is 'Wa La*' which while not so vulgar, is nonetheless undesirable) coming from a little boy. i told him that other kids who said such words may not have the benefit of having their parents explaining what is appropriate to them, and since i am here to share with him, he is to know that such a word is not appropriate for use.

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Re: Vulgar words

Postby ZacK » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:40 am

ChiefKiasu wrote:


You really had me laughing at this posting :rotflmao:

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Postby ZacK » Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:05 am

Hi Rocklee,

First of all, you shd congratulate yourself as DS1 approached you to clarify his doubts, what would be worse is that he ask his peers instead of you who may then tell him it's alright to say those words.

I would do as what Jedamum said by emphasizing that those words are bad and offensive, and would ultimately hurt the person who hears those words. For our family even words like stupid is not used because it's derogatory in nature, we use words like silly instead. It is certainly a challenge as our kids are exposed to so many elements outside of the home, so just have to constantly remind and emphasize to our kids that certainly things are a "No-No" whenever we encounter them saying or doing things that we do not agree with.

I am thankful that when I was growing up, our family did not use such words (altho I vaguely recalled my father having used vulgar words a few times but very rarely) that it sounded very weird for anyone in my family to use those words. When I was serving my national service, it was not surprising to hear the F*** and CB words on a daily basis, I even tried saying those words quietly to myself and concluded that it's just not me and never said those words henceforth.

So I guess if you are able to create and internalise the culture of not using inappropriate words in your family, I am sure your boy will automatically conclude that those words are inappropriate and will instead choose to use other more "neutral" words to describe one's sentiments without sounding offensive.

ZacK
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Postby daisyt » Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:00 am

When my girl was in P5, she also picked up vulgarities from those boys. There are many vulgar words in her blog and diary and once, she accidentally said in front of us when she was angry. I told her, we don't like it and its strictly not allowed in the family. However, if she choose to continue, daddy and I would go along with her. We can become the vulgar family, if she wants. Immediately she stopped because she did not want us to speak vulgar words with her. Nowadays, whenever she read back her old diary, she would tell me "I could not believe I was so vulgar in the past. This is so embarrasing." :D

This is just my personal experience, it might not be correct but it worked. :lol:

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Postby rocklee » Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:24 pm

Thanks for all your advice.

what would be worse is that he ask his peers instead of you who may then tell him it's alright to say those words.


In fact, DS1 asked those boys about the meaning when he first heard them. And these boys explained to him that the word meant "peeing". I almost :faint: When my DS2 heard our conversation, he jumped down from the sofa and shouted, " I know this word becos so and so always use this word!" To my surprise, such words came out from a P1 girl's mouth. I was :shock: ! I guess there is no way I can control what these pupils say so I just have to constantly remind them not to use such words at all.

For our family even words like stupid is not used


Me too. I don't allow my children to use words like stupid or fools or any words that sound rude. Sometimes I unknowingly used the word "stupid", such as "this show is stupid", my DS1 will immediately correct me.

I think somehow it is inevitable that kids will pick up some ill behaviour in school. As the chinese saying goes , it takes 3 years to learn the good but only 3 days to learn the bad. So we, as parents, just have to be constantly on the look out.

rocklee
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Postby turquoise » Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:09 pm

I'm sure all our kids are exposed to unsavoury swear words in school. However, I hope we are able to teach them well enough not to use the words themselves.

My dd was telling me how this sweet little innocent-looking P3 girl let off a string of expletives when provoked. :!: The teacher had to take her aside.

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Postby KS_me » Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:27 pm

I can relate to this topic for sure!

My son, P1, was being affected by the vulgar too! same place "school bus!".

What happened was he came home one day told me that the "so & so" scolded him F*** in the school bus and he was affected by his word because he knows these are hurtful words. I got very :x when I heard abt this and immediately that night I wrote an email to the principal hoping she could help me address the issue. (you may think I'm abit "siao" and "too emotional" over such small matter but I can't tolerate my P1 was scolded using these unwanted words immediately 3 months after he entered the school environment!)

On the next day, The principal (after receiving my email) went to each and every class of P1 to warn all P1 pupils not to use "vulgar" and ensure them that they will be punished if they are being heard.

I don't care if it is effective but I'm happy and appreciate the efforts of the principal despite her busy schedules, she was there to instill the good value in her pupils when she sees the needs.

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Postby nmhmum » Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:40 pm

By the way, may I know that the word "P****" ( boys private part ) consider a vulgar word? My neighbour's son keeps on saying this word in front of my kids whenever he is angry. I told my kids not to follow what the boy says because to me I don't find it pleasant to the ear. What is your view? Do you think this word is consider "vulgar"?

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