All About Working With Children Who Are Weak Academically

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Disappointed and discouraged

Postby concernmother » Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:38 am

Does anyone feel disappointed, upset and discouraged of your child? I have a DD in Sec 2. Last year, she did badly for her exams. She cried, I encouraged her. She continues to slack, "take it easy" attitude. Did badly for her CAs, she was upset and I encouraged her. Yet continue to slack, "don't care" attitude. This year, she cried because she did badly for all subjects. I encouraged her and told her that last minute work is not going to solve the problem. She nodded her head and told me that it was a wake up call for her. I was happy to hear that. However, she is back to her own self again. I am so tired of everything. Nothing seems to work. There is no point giving encouragement.
She is always so busy with CCA and church. But it seems like these are not the main reasons. That is her personality. Even she has no CCA that week, she will be doing her work leisurely. There is no urgency in her. She will be tweeting, sms because her friends are doing so too.
Does anyone have this problem? Or is it me alone?
Stress

concernmother
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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby august24 » Wed Jul 04, 2012 12:00 pm

My niece, who is in sec 1, is also like that. No discipline, slept late (1-2am) cos either surf net or watch tv, dream in class, always sms etc. I think this being her 1st yr in sec, still getting used to it, plus no control fr parents. They complain abt her attitude, but did not take action to stop her late nights or hp usage. Hope she keep to her promise to buck up. Now she form study groups with her friends. :xedfingers:

august24
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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby concernmother » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:27 pm

august24 wrote:My niece, who is in sec 1, is also like that. No discipline, slept late (1-2am) cos either surf net or watch tv, dream in class, always sms etc. I think this being her 1st yr in sec, still getting used to it, plus no control fr parents. They complain abt her attitude, but did not take action to stop her late nights or hp usage. Hope she keep to her promise to buck up. Now she form study groups with her friends. :xedfingers:


i never believe in study group. 3 hours studying in a group, only 15 minutes of focus. Soon there will be updates of photos in facebook and tweet.

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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby cherrygal » Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:39 pm

Ditto for study groups... I never joined study groups as we would end up chit chatting.

I guess such things happen during transition phases ie. PSLE to secondary school, and secondary school to JC/Poly etc... I know of single pointer kids at O levels slack in JC then do badly or drop out. Sometimes it's due to complacency or bad influence from new friends.

It is impt for you to know who her friends are. Invite them home to have a gathering but dun appear nosy.

It may also be a good idea to take her on a trip to 3rd world countries or do some volunteer work to see how lucky she is.

I found a book that contains a very easy to understand illustration that helps us understand why working hard in the first 20 years of our lives is the most important.

It's "The Ultimate Guide to Real Estate Investment in Singapore" by Ismail Gafoor (CEO of Propnex). Although the book is more about property, the first third of his book touched on his rags to riches story. He also drew a chart that illustrated that if you worked hard for the first 20 years of your life (study hard), your next 60 years will be provided for (assuming you get an OK job, invest prudently and dun go bankrupt with bad spending habits).

Those who can't see this logic will end up playing / getting involved in crime in the first 20 years, then realise they need to work really hard for the next 60 years till they die (look at some elderly pple still slogging away).

Ask your daughter, which life does she want?

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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby Guest » Fri Jul 06, 2012 7:26 am

Is life too comfortable for her?

Maybe she needs a hardship camp.
If there is a tough environment for her to live in for 3-6 months, then perhaps she will realise that study well is easier and can get her a better life.
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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby kwcllf » Fri Jul 06, 2012 7:46 am

Limit the use of computer, social media, games.

Alot of kids just get hooked to them and spend disproportionate amount of time on them than studies.

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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby kwcllf » Fri Jul 06, 2012 7:46 am

Limit the use of computer, social media, games.

Alot of kids just get hooked to them and spend disproportionate amount of time on them than studies.

kwcllf
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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby concernmother » Fri Jul 06, 2012 9:02 am

Thanks Cherrygal, mummy of three, ksi, kwcllf. Thanks for the advises. Got her tuition for some subjects. Hopefully she will buck up and catch up with her work. Funny thing is that, she has the intention to do well but her will-power is not strong enough. She will come home with the intention of doing so and so HW, revise so and so subjects. However, only half done at the end of the day. She knows she has to set a timetable and she knows well that she has to set a target.....but...
Guess you all are right. Probably she is too comfortable, don't know what is hardship. But i have seen children, who come from comfortable home, wealthy family, doing very well on their own and very focus. Why my kid is not like this?
So many times I want to give up. But sigh....mother nature..so difficult to do that.

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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby kwcllf » Fri Jul 06, 2012 10:06 am

Saw this article on Edvantage from AsiaOne online:
http://www.edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/n ... urvey.html

It is very important to find out what our children do online these days. They are young and impressionable and can be easily decieved and lead astray. Thought it is good to share this article although it is about Taiwan kids. But, I think this can happen everywhere, or is already happening.

kwcllf
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Re: Disappointed and discouraged

Postby concernmother » Fri Jul 06, 2012 10:14 am

kwcllf wrote:Saw this article on Edvantage from AsiaOne online:
http://www.edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/n ... urvey.html

It is very important to find out what our children do online these days. They are young and impressionable and can be easily decieved and lead astray. Thought it is good to share this article although it is about Taiwan kids. But, I think this can happen everywhere, or is already happening.


Thanks for sharing kwcllf.

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