How to work with children with no interest in studying

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to work with children with no interest in studying

Postby Ljas1370 » Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:38 pm

Original Title: Pls help..... Kid shows no interest in studying

Hi Parents,

I juz wondering if any parent has any experience. :? I've a nephew who totally shows no interest in studying. He is in P3 this year same as my son. My sister is really worried. When doing Maths problem sums, he doesn't bother to read and understand the question. When comes to English & Chinese comprehsion, he is always too lazy to read the passage. Even for multiple choice straight forward comprehension, he can get all wrong. My sister is at a lost. :cry: I really feel pity of her as she is trying all her best to help her son but the son just can't be bother. Everday only think of playing computer game. Sometimes, my sister really pissed off with him because before she start teaching him, he asks when can the lesson ends. GOSH!!! :x . Her mother-in-law commented that need to wait for the child to mature then he will understand why he needs to study and by then, he will really sit down and study. But nobody can tell when will the day comes. My sister even quoted a example when she goes supermarket with my nephew, when he saw a young boy cashier, he told my nephew, if you don't work hard, you will be like the cashier earning just $800. When my nephew heard that, he replied my sister-in-law, $800 is alot of money. My sister was so speechless :stupid:

Any parents have experience with this kind of kid. Kind to share your stories. Thanks so much.

Ljas1370
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Postby BlueBells » Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:08 am

If I were in your sister' situation, I would immediately strip him of all his gaming privileges. I would then sit him down and negotiate a term where he would be able to "earn" his rights to play again, for example, 3 scores of 80 / 90 or above for spelling, tingxie, will earn him 1 play right. No pain no gain.

Your sis should also speak with teachers in school to find out more about his attitude in class, etc., and get the school to help arrange for school counselling if need be.

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Postby jedamum » Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:24 am

hi,
how long has this persist?
is it a sudden change in attitude or all along since P1 he has a sign of laziness? if not, it may be the difficulty in syllabus that is causing him to lose interest in studying.

you may want to read this and this too.

it is not surprising that kids thought that $800 as salary is a lot if the kid did not know the concept of money well. my P1 thinks that his dad earns a few hundred a month and feels that that is a lot. :wink:

jedamum
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Postby Andaiz » Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:17 am

jedamum wrote:it is not surprising that kids thought that $800 as salary is a lot if the kid did not know the concept of money well. my P1 thinks that his dad earns a few hundred a month and feels that that is a lot. :wink:


Well, jedamum, in comparison to his pocket money, a few hundred a month IS a lot :lol: :lol:

Ljas1370, sounds like an addiction to gaming. Taking away that priviledge works wonders for some. May be worth a try. However, needs to be done with lots of explaining and understanding on both parts - parents and your nephew. And that is assuming that they are on talking terms.

Andaiz
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Postby Ljas1370 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:27 am

BlueBells wrote:If I were in your sister' situation, I would immediately strip him of all his gaming privileges. I would then sit him down and negotiate a term where he would be able to "earn" his rights to play again, for example, 3 scores of 80 / 90 or above for spelling, tingxie, will earn him 1 play right. No pain no gain.

Your sis should also speak with teachers in school to find out more about his attitude in class, etc., and get the school to help arrange for school counselling if need be.

My sister did try the star rewards method. It doesn't work. P1 his marks was OK 75 for maths, English 80 and Chinese 89. P2 english 79, maths 74, chinese 62 (a drastic drop). P3 was the worse english 49 maths 50 science 56 and chinese 62. Maybe becos as it goes higher, is more difficult.

My sister did sent him for tutition, teacher said he cannot focus easily distracted. My sister even send him to S'pore Brain Devleopment Centre for training to improve his cognitive skill, but is already a few months still no improvement.

Ljas1370
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Postby Sexyviper » Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:59 pm

Ljas 1370,

Your nephew sounds exactly like my P1 son. I am also at my wits end with him. I used to enroll him in I CAN READ and MPM but stopped because he refused to go to the class. I used both soft and hard techniques but to no avail. Each lesson is like going to a war with him. So I finally gave up. Thought if he doesn't want to get out of the house, I will engage home tutors to come to our house.

Just today, he moved our chairs to the door to block his tuition teacher to come into the house. After 10mins of tug-of-war with him, the teacher managed to get into the house but he then went to hide himself inside his waredrobe.

Like your nephew, he has no interests in studying and just want to play all day. I really tried all possible means e.g. counseling, punishment, rewards etc.

Sexyviper
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Postby tamarind » Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:47 pm

Everday only think of playing computer game.


This is the root of the problem. The parents have to fix it.

I know many students who are above 18 years old. They are actually very smart. But because of their addiction to computer games, they barely pass, some even failed many modules. It is a great pity, because these boys are very intelligent and it is a great waste of talent.

Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.

tamarind
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Postby Fluffy » Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:51 pm

tamarind wrote:
Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.


I agreed with Tamarind! My son almost became addicted to computer gaming from P4 to P6. I put my foot down and cut off access with password. It takes time to change their addiction. Be patient. I introduce more healthy activities as a family such as board games, outdoor sports incl in-line skating & cycling. I also bring my children to library and bookshops every other weekend. They picked up 2 music instruments each and now have no time for computer gaming. But I allow them to join Facebook and occassionally have fun with them on some Facebook game which is non-addictive. I perserve and succeed.

I have gone to a few Cyberwellness workshop where the speaker advised to delay exposing our children to internet gaming as late as possible. If you know how serious is addiction to computer gaming and the drastic consequences, you will never let your children touch computer. Unfortunately, this is impossible at this age of technology. Just steer them away from this evil habit as much as possible (if they need to use the computer for project, make sure you sit next to them and guide). Participate more in other activities and they will slowly lose interest. Inform the school and and get the teachers and counsellors' support as peer influence is often culprit of computer gaming addiction.

Fluffy
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Postby daisyt » Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:32 am

I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too "outdated" in thinking. :?

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Postby schellen » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:58 pm

daisyt wrote:I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too "outdated" in thinking. :?


No, you are not outdated. Maybe they think that he will become rich in the future just by playing games. (Yes, it is a possibility but the chances of it happening? :rotflmao:) Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet. If those around them have already tried their best to get them to be concerned and failed, then, when the consequences kick in....., er, depends on you. (For me, if I have tried my best and got shooed away every time, I will then have the last laugh. But that is me.)

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