Over protected child

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Over protected child

Postby pinkypillzz » Mon Jul 22, 2013 3:02 pm

Hi everyone,

I don't understand where i am doing wrong, raising my child (2.5 years old).
he is very very clingy. At home he doesn't let me go in the kitchen or
he followed me all the time. He never spend time alone. when I take him out to play area, he keeps clinging with me , he doesn't have the courage to
explore baby rides himself, he gets shy or scared when see other kids or people.
Today i took him to the preschool for admission. They took his trial class and eventually said , No he is not ready now, he is very attached to you.

why ?

we are a couple and a kid live here in Singapore with no relatives and so called friends. From birth he sleeps with us in between the bed till now.
we rented out a single bedroom and shared rest of the things in the apartment. we take care of our kid in the best possible way, love him a
lot, play with him, take him out occasionally.

then what is happening wrong ? why he is not confident like other kids ?
:(

pinkypillzz
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:37 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Over protected child

Postby whattodo7 » Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:16 pm

I think you need to bring him out to play more at public playgrounds or to classes which you can sit in with him as the kids sing, play etc...

Sounds like he has not developed social skills yet because of the lack of exposure

whattodo7
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 5:18 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Over protected child

Postby ngl2010 » Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:28 pm

whattodo7 wrote:I think you need to bring him out to play more at public playgrounds or to classes which you can sit in with him as the kids sing, play etc...

Sounds like he has not developed social skills yet because of the lack of exposure

It looks like it.

ngl2010
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 6032
Joined: Tue May 24, 2011 2:03 pm
Total Likes: 68


Re: Over protected child

Postby ammonite » Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:59 pm

Pinky,

I think he is totally normal especially if you have been the main caregiver since birth. Both my kids have been with me 24/7 from birth to 3 years old. They followed me from room to room. And from birth, I take them out to playground and parks. They have regular contact with other children everyday. Once he was about 3plus, ds1 never had any problem going to a new place or talking to strangers. But we always take his feelings into account and the choice is always up to him. At five, he would go independently to neighbour's place for playdates. He is very self assured.

Ds2 is different. He is much more reserved and only opened up at four plus. Before that, he must have me or his brother around. This is despite having regular contact with other children since birth, and bearing in mind that my elder son's friends come over to play regularly. Hence i only sent him to school at K1 and the teachers were very sensitive in their handling of him and accomodated his shyness. He was allowed to watch and proceed at his own pace both in class and for performances. Now at K2, he has blossomed further though nothing around him has changed. He is simply ready and more confident in himself. He now joins into games where he is the youngest boy (oldest is 13 year old) and after a very positive first experience at an enrichment class with his brother, he is now enjoying a new class without his brother's presence.

Every child is different. As long as you constantly offer opportunities for him to expand his horizons, provide guidance on social skills and cues, build up confidence, most children will grow in their own time.

ammonite
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2223
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:13 am
Total Likes: 64
1 people like this post


Re: Over protected child

Postby ammonite » Mon Jul 22, 2013 9:02 pm

Oh and 2.5 is the time of separation anxiety too. You can google that and read up on tips of how to ease separation anxiety. For me I just let them outgrow it at their speed, but I know this does not work for everyone. :)

ammonite
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2223
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:13 am
Total Likes: 64



Re: Over protected child

Postby Jennifer » Mon Jul 22, 2013 9:17 pm

I agree with ammonite.

Some kids r naturally sociable at very young age, some a little later.

Jennifer
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 23241
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:10 pm
Total Likes: 106


Re: Over protected child

Postby quixation » Tue Jul 23, 2013 11:35 pm

Bring him to playgrounds or music classes and u hv to show him while explaining, how u also go interact with other kids..u can also read books abt separation anxiety, courage & friendship.

One good book that help me is "I love you through & through" , my girl still tells me that till now..

Assure him he can do it, give him confidence by starting to give him small task to do and praise him when he accomplish by himself..

playing in front of a mirror to teach him body parts and describe positively also builds confidence,

lastly another suggestion, bring him out to where children playing and if he dont want, give him drawing paper and crayons and ask him draw what he sees..
from it ask him abt his drawing and u will know what he is actually fearing..
slowly if his drawing is getting livelier and he thinks they r havjng fun, encourage him to try..

quixation
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 291
Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:02 am
Total Likes: 1


Re: Over protected child

Postby etegration » Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:24 pm

ammonite wrote:Pinky,

I think he is totally normal especially if you have been the main caregiver since birth. Both my kids have been with me 24/7 from birth to 3 years old. They followed me from room to room. And from birth, I take them out to playground and parks. They have regular contact with other children everyday. Once he was about 3plus, ds1 never had any problem going to a new place or talking to strangers. But we always take his feelings into account and the choice is always up to him. At five, he would go independently to neighbour's place for playdates. He is very self assured.

Ds2 is different. He is much more reserved and only opened up at four plus. Before that, he must have me or his brother around. This is despite having regular contact with other children since birth, and bearing in mind that my elder son's friends come over to play regularly. Hence i only sent him to school at K1 and the teachers were very sensitive in their handling of him and accomodated his shyness. He was allowed to watch and proceed at his own pace both in class and for performances. Now at K2, he has blossomed further though nothing around him has changed. He is simply ready and more confident in himself. He now joins into games where he is the youngest boy (oldest is 13 year old) and after a very positive first experience at an enrichment class with his brother, he is now enjoying a new class without his brother's presence.

Every child is different. As long as you constantly offer opportunities for him to expand his horizons, provide guidance on social skills and cues, build up confidence, most children will grow in their own time.


you dont know the kind of gratitude feeling i have when i read this....thank you

etegration
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:35 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Over protected child

Postby KimMills » Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:48 am

Pinky he is totally normal, don't worry. It's just that he's so used to having just you around all this time. Try to take him out more often, to parks and other places where there are are lot of kids. Don't push him into anything, it never helps. Before to go to do any chores around the home, maybe sit with him for a while first, with some activity, till he he gets involved and then get away. Maybe the first few times he'll leave it and follow you. He's very small, his personality is not developed yet, he'll be fine.

KimMills
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:12 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Over protected child

Postby clioclio » Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:41 am

Does joining a class with parent accompanying help?

When my DD was 2.5 she was very clingy too, she cried for the whole 3 hours for the whole week when we put her in Nursery1. By the end of the week she came down with fever (might be due to 3hour crying from Mon-Fri) so we took her out.

We thought it cd be the fact that she was not used to the concept of sch yet so I signed her up for a music class where I could go in with her once a week. She enjoyed it tremendously and at least she learnt something--e.g. Circle time, going up to the teacher to collect props, holding other kids hands all while mummy is sitting and encouraging. Of course she could sit on my lap whenever she ddidn feel too sociable.

Then slowly put her in a 2 hour school...no more tears... then now she is already K2 and have lots of friends.

My youngest DS is 2.5 and he is crying every day because he cannot go on the school bus with his sister to school Everyday he asks me if he can go to school.

I guess different kids, different temperament too.

clioclio
GreenBelt
GreenBelt
 
Posts: 130
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:21 pm
Total Likes: 0



Return to Working With Your Child