About changing yourself for your kid.

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby apuspallidus » Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:41 pm

Should you? Let's say your child repeatedly, and you think unreasonably, demand that you change a part of you. Would you?

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby ammonite » Sun Aug 04, 2013 3:15 pm

Too little information, but what an unusual question from a parent - I am intrigued! :)

Very simply, I think we all at times wish our own parents do things differently. So some self reflection is not a bad thing. I would not dismiss it outright, but would try to put myself in the child's shoes to better assess the situation. The child's age is important too.

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby sleepy » Sun Aug 04, 2013 3:23 pm

I told my kids I am the sun. They revolve around me. So they better get used to that idea :evil:

That being said, I did do my own reflection on a regular basis la

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby ammonite » Sun Aug 04, 2013 3:29 pm

sleepy wrote:I told my kids I am the sun. They revolve around me. So they better get used to that idea :evil:

That being said, I did do my own reflection on a regular basis la


Oh I LOVE your line!! :rotflmao:

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby wonderm » Sun Aug 04, 2013 3:33 pm

sleepy wrote:I told my kids I am the sun. They revolve around me. So they better get used to that idea :evil:

That being said, I did do my own reflection on a regular basis la


:salute: Good one. Too late for me to tell my teenagers that. Should have brainwashed them when they were younger.

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby ammonite » Sun Aug 04, 2013 3:42 pm

I do say I am the parent, I get the final say. But I will consider their feedback. :)

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby slmkhoo » Sun Aug 04, 2013 5:36 pm

I suppose it depends on what the thing they want to change is, and what the reason is. If my child wants to change my dressing, or my hairstyle, or the brands of items I use simply to make a better impression on others, and I feel that it is unnecessary, I will not. On the other hand, my kids have said that I nag too much, or fuss too much about tidiness etc and treat them like little kids, and I have realised that they are right. Sometimes I forget to change as they grow up, and it's good that they can tell me what they think.

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby vinegar » Sun Aug 04, 2013 9:17 pm

slmkhoo wrote:I suppose it depends on what the thing they want to change is, and what the reason is. If my child wants to change my dressing, or my hairstyle, or the brands of items I use simply to make a better impression on others, and I feel that it is unnecessary, I will not. On the other hand, my kids have said that I nag too much, or fuss too much about tidiness etc and treat them like little kids, and I have realised that they are right. Sometimes I forget to change as they grow up, and it's good that they can tell me what they think.


u r absolutely right. I hv not reached that stage but I wonder how I can let go,coz I love them soooo much...I wish they stay in primary level forever,they r just so cutee....

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby vinegar » Sun Aug 04, 2013 9:31 pm

I find it hard to find a balance btw maintaining/earning respect as mother n as the same time,giving them respect(by asking their opinion).

few days ago,i threw temper on my son over a sunny side up egg. My son is very fussy.He wanted me to redo the egg again coz its yolk was broken.Ok,then I fried another one n it broke again.He asked to redo it again.

I was mad,coz I felt I was treated like a maid.Furthermore,i hv had an argument wf my hb the night b4. Feeling frustrated, I screamed at him,he cried.I screamed.I went into the room,sat at the corner,cried out loud.I couldn't control.After I calmed down,i went out n hugged him.He looked so upset,he apologized to me n said he won't do it again.

In my whole life,i nvr feel so lousy b4. At that moment,i hate my hb.I hate him of being weak. I felt so sorry for my son.I wiped off his tears n hugged him tightly.

Now,i know..why some mummies committed suicide with their children. I told myself,i've to calm down...I've to be rationale.If needed,my hb has to go.My children r forever my priority....

After calm down a few days,i feel beta. Also,i am thankful to all ksp mummies who gave their encouragement n valuable advice to me :smile: ....I know I've to change,i've to be stronger for the sake of my dc....

Now,when I recall this incident, I still feel so heartpain for my son. :please: i asked him if I've scared him.At least,now he appreciates me beta n even asks me how is my day? :wink: if I've good night sleep.... :snooze:

sorry a bit sidetrack...

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Re: About changing yourself for your kid.

Postby KimMills » Tue Aug 13, 2013 3:09 pm

Depends on what it is that my kid would want changed about me. If it is unreasonable, well I'll try to talk with him but if he's being reasonable I have no issues changing. I am not perfect and I'd definitely give it a thought.

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