Z Nur Shahidah
Ever since my elder sister passed away I've been taking care of her son JJ. I took him in since he was 8 years old and I love him dearly like my own. Now he is a teenager. Being a mother of two young children is easier than a mother of an adolescent. The challenges are different, and this somewhat prepared me of what's coming for my two daughters later.
I was checking the house computer and saw several pictures of naked men. My two younger girls are too young to use computer. I confronted my JJ and he strongly denied it. After much probe, he finally relented and claimed those obscene pictures belong to him. We asked if he has any issues on sexual orientation and wish to talk about it. JJ said that he was going to tell me and hub that he thinks he's gay, but apparently the day came too soon. We asked many questions to peek into his new found interest and understand when and where it had developed. Over the past year, he became quiet and shut himself in the room often. Throughout the conversation, JJ kept saying that we 'straight people' will never understand that he's born that way. He kept insisting that he was born gay. I felt like a failure because I don't know where I had gone wrong or what did I do wrong. I have let my sister down. Should I let JJ continue being gay or should I get someone to talk to him like a counsellor?
The most disturbing part is that he claimed it is normal to be gay. Even his teacher is gay. We went to a school website and asked him to show us who is the gay teacher. Apparently the teacher is a HOD. He refused to detail how he got wind of this info. Me and hub got worried. HOD means possibly the teacher can be a principal in future.
My question is: Does MOE conduct background checks on their key appointment personnel before they take on these important roles? So MOE takes a tolerant stand on LGBT issues?
Mathia Lee (https://www.facebook.com/mathialee)
Hi. There is a small community group in Singapore that helps parents of gay children. Although you are his aunt, I believe they will also consider you as a "parent" to him
You can contact them at email@example.com
They have an FAQ for parents here:
It might be good for you to talk to the school counsellor together with your nephew to seek counselling as a whole family. If he is already keeping quiet and shutting himself away, he might be feeling very depressed and upset. Not wanting to scare you, but many gay youth have attempted suicide or suffered from depression because of these issues. I encourage you to see help from the counsellors before that happens to him. At this moment, the best thing you can do for him, is not to scold him or condemn him further, but to seek more information so you can act in his best interest and not fail him or your sis
I wish you and your family the best.
11 September at 12:45 · Edited · Like