Our children's privacy

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

[Funny] How to Stalk Your Kids on Facebook & Twitter

Postby sashimi » Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:29 am

A tongue-in-cheek look at how our kids (will soon) sabo themselves on social media. But hey, there's truth in it! :lol:

Go to this link to view the clip:

http://mashable.com/2009/08/31/parents- ... -stalking/


HOW TO: Stalk Your Kids on Facebook and Twitter [VIDEO]

August 31st, 2009 | by Jennifer Van Grove

Social media, it’s great for narcissists, analysts, marketers, and brands. But did you know that it’s perfect for overprotective and nosy parents? In fact, according to Today Now, Facebook (Facebook) and Twitter (Twitter) are revolutionizing how parents stalk their kids in college.

Of course, Today Now is actually a mock-news show by The Onion that parodies shows like the Today Show, but their new video is a must-watch for any avid social media user. It’s hard not to appreciate the humor in the utter honesty and exuberance of guest expert, Gloria, or E-MOM, who talks about how to use the internet to monitor your child’s every move.

Albeit certainly exaggerated for comedic effect, Gloria’s words of wisdom are quite memorable, and pretty darn retweetable. We fancy her advice on Facebook and Twitter, and she uses her experience with her own son to show parents about the value of Facebook tagging and Twitter following.

The E-MOM tells us, “With the Facebook feature called tagging I can find out she is Jenny Longman just by scrolling over her…I can get a good enough idea of what she’s like just by looking at this trampy picture.” And regarding Twitter, she advises parents to pick a Twitter name with their kid’s college year and, “just make sure that you spell everything wrong and swear alot.”

Watch this clip and let us know what you think of E-MOM’s advice.


:celebrate:

sashimi
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Postby sashimi » Tue Sep 01, 2009 9:33 am

I hasten to add that I'm actually a social media worker/advocate. :)

Although there are many many (too many) people whose instinctive reaction towards social computing is that it is an invasion of privacy/security/waste of time/no benefits to work - this is in fact a very outdated view.

The video, while alarmingly funny, also demonstrates the power of social media to keep you and family connected. In a world increasingly overwhelmed by information overload and disconnect (including among family), social computing is powerful tool for both keeping in touch and discovering knowledge among friends and family (I'm referring to the good stuff!).

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Spot check your child & privacy

Postby daisyt » Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:24 am

//Moderator's note: Topics merged.

I have overheard the conversation of a few teens (abt secondary school), one of them was making this comment "My mum would never dare to read/check my sms. This is invade of privacy!"

I would like to hear from parents, especially with kids of pre-teens or teens.

1) Do you spot check your children or you do it openly ? Eg. checking their sms, emails, read their blogs, facebook, check the travel transactions of their Ez-link card, check bags, call the school .....

2) Do you think parents should spot check and or check openly on them ?

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Postby flametree » Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:38 am

Hi daisyt,

I've been thinking about this issue too recently coz my 2 teenagers, esp my girl, have been rather "secretive".. eg dun want me to stay near the desktop if she's on msn or facebook. She's also very protective over her handphone. I'm in a dilemma whether should i spot check her.

However, there's a part of me that tells me to trust her to know what's she's doing and give her space. Dunno if i'm doing the right thing??

Glad you started this thread. hopefully someone can give us some advice.

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Postby kuzco » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:31 am

This matter has been bugging me for quite a while too. My kid has been kinda secretative when he's chatting on Facebook. Whenever I approach, he will quickly close the chatbox and switch screen. :| He also seems to be SMSing a lot too these days. Like what flametree has said, should I trust him and give him some privacy? or should be spot check now and then?

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Postby MdmKS » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:36 am

flametree wrote:Hi daisyt,

I've been thinking about this issue too recently coz my 2 teenagers, esp my girl, have been rather "secretive".. eg dun want me to stay near the desktop if she's on msn or facebook. She's also very protective over her handphone. I'm in a dilemma whether should i spot check her.

However, there's a part of me that tells me to trust her to know what's she's doing and give her space. Dunno if i'm doing the right thing??

Glad you started this thread. hopefully someone can give us some advice.

I have this concern too. My DS sec sch make it clear to them that the sch has the right to scan the content of their hp at anytime. We tap on to this and told him that his parents also has the responsiblity to help him scan his hp in case he might not aware of inappropriate stuff being sent or bluetooth to his hp. He agreed. I give him a pre-paid card and make it clear to him the charging amt of air-time and sms. So far his usage of hp is subject to neccessity.

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Postby daisyt » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:48 am

I personally feel that when kids behave "secretly", something is wrong. It is time for parents to take action. We can trust them, give them privacy, provided that, this trust, is not being abused or misued. Trust does not mean total freedom. Checking does not mean no freedom or do not trust.

In working life, some of us might encounter companies with internal auditors, to check on our work, to ensure work are done according to the company's compliance and rules. Some companies would block certain websites (eg. facebook, msn ...) .... So, does that mean the company do not trust us, do not give us freedom, invade our privacy ?

Checking is to ensure we behave correctly, when mistakes are spotted, actions are taken to correct the mistakes, and to prevent future errors. This apply in work, it also apply in the way we handle our children. :D

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Postby daisyt » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:50 am

MdmKS wrote:I have this concern too. My DS sec sch make it clear to them that the sch has the right to scan the content of their hp at anytime. We tap on to this and told him that his parents also has the responsiblity to help him scan his hp in case he might not aware of inappropriate stuff being sent or bluetooth to his hp. He agreed. I give him a pre-paid card and make it clear to him the charging amt of air-time and sms. So far his usage of hp is subject to neccessity.


If school has the right to scan the content of their hp at anytime, why parents have no rights to do that too ? :D

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Postby jedamum » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:55 am

daisyt wrote:If school has the right to scan the content of their hp at anytime, why parents have no rights to do that too ? :D

if your kid ask to scan your phone, will you accept? if no, how would you tell them the difference between your privacy and theirs?

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Postby daisyt » Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:14 am

jedamum wrote:
daisyt wrote:If school has the right to scan the content of their hp at anytime, why parents have no rights to do that too ? :D

if your kid ask to scan your phone, will you accept? if no, how would you tell them the difference between your privacy and theirs?


Yes, in fact it is practised at my home. I am very open for my hubby and dd to scan my phone, read my sms. Same as my hubby, he is very open too. So we expect the same from my dd. In fact this is not the point. My point is, if one has not done anything wrong, why be afraid to be checked ? And if even the school has the rights, why not their parents ?

If there is really a need to differentiate our privacy and theirs - At pre-teens and teens, I don't think there is even a need for arguement on this. Who is reponsible for their upbringing ? Who is being pin point at when they make mistakes ? Who would the school and police call for when they did something wrong ? Adults are responsible for their own action and hence we have the rights for our privacy. Thats the only difference I can think of. :D Then, how about, when police spot check on adults NRIC or driving license, do we say "they invading our privacy?" :lol:
Last edited by daisyt on Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

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