Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby sembgal » Wed Oct 23, 2013 11:38 pm

Real story: This child was drilled from young with Kumon worksheets 15 pages a day. 1 day no time do, next day 30 pages. In addition, top school exam papers. This child no doubt did very well academically but busy parents no time for child, traveling often for work, are their own bosses of a company, neglected the child emotionally. Today, the child has grown up to be a rebellious teenager who use penknife to cut herself from time to time. Before things escalated this far, the parents were warned to loosen on their style of parenting the child to achieve high academic excellence. Today, the teenager has supplementary cards who used them to spent lavishly on items not needed. What the poor teenager need was her parents' time. Sometimes, it might be a good decision for the parents to spend quality time with family. It is sad to know of stories like this. Now the teenager has to see a psychologist to treat her problems. Note: The child studies in a very good sec school that requires more than 250 or 260 to enter.

Another story was the mother pressured the child, a boy, to study, achieve high marks, in the end, the child jumped down from the building and the neighborhood knew what happen.

Another story was a girl who who was expected by her mother to get full marks, do 1 set of test paper per subject every day, study study until the child break down and had to see psychologist.

Every parent want the child to do well, but do not stress the child till the child gave up hope.

sembgal
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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby sembgal » Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:53 am

One more story to add. 2 preschoolers that I heard of who were pushed to achieve academic excellence by attending tuition and doing loads of assessments, had to see psychologist at 6 years old! This is real. Parents in denial at first but as problems escalated, parents brought the children to see psychologist. Heard situation have improved after seeking professional psychology advice. One time visit to see psychologist is $200.

sembgal
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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby jtoh » Sun Nov 17, 2013 10:09 am

Very sad but more prevalent than we think. I can't imagine pre-schoolers doing worksheets and having to see psychologists.

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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby pirate » Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:52 pm

sembgal wrote:One more story to add. 2 preschoolers that I heard of who were pushed to achieve academic excellence by attending tuition and doing loads of assessments, had to see psychologist at 6 years old! This is real. Parents in denial at first but as problems escalated, parents brought the children to see psychologist. Heard situation have improved after seeking professional psychology advice. One time visit to see psychologist is $200.

So the moral of the story is parents should push their children to become psychologists? :evil:

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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby jetsetter » Sun Nov 17, 2013 11:09 pm

sembgal wrote:Real story: This child was drilled from young with Kumon worksheets 15 pages a day. 1 day no time do, next day 30 pages. In addition, top school exam papers. This child no doubt did very well academically but busy parents no time for child, traveling often for work, are their own bosses of a company, neglected the child emotionally. Today, the child has grown up to be a rebellious teenager who use penknife to cut herself from time to time. Before things escalated this far, the parents were warned to loosen on their style of parenting the child to achieve high academic excellence. Today, the teenager has supplementary cards who used them to spent lavishly on items not needed. What the poor teenager need was her parents' time. Sometimes, it might be a good decision for the parents to spend quality time with family. It is sad to know of stories like this. Now the teenager has to see a psychologist to treat her problems. Note: The child studies in a very good sec school that requires more than 250 or 260 to enter.

Another story was the mother pressured the child, a boy, to study, achieve high marks, in the end, the child jumped down from the building and the neighborhood knew what happen.

Another story was a girl who who was expected by her mother to get full marks, do 1 set of test paper per subject every day, study study until the child break down and had to see psychologist.

Every parent want the child to do well, but do not stress the child till the child gave up hope.



This is true and I agree with you on the highlighted part, but it's quite common to send preschoolers to many enrichment, tuition (be it home or outsource) sessions these days, if the parents can afford and kids themselves enjoy them yah?

I know colleagues who sent their for many of the following (1 to 2 enrichment per weekday):

Ballet
Piano/Violin
Chinese speech and drama
Eng speech and drama
Phonics/ICR/Lorna Whiston
Art
Tien Hsia/Berries/Hua/Hua Cheng/Jiang/Beijing
Mindstretcher/TLL/LP enrichment
Computer
Swimming/Tennis/Gymnastics
CMA/Mental Arithmetic courses
HYPY
Baking

All these add up together is worse than doing 15 Kumon worksheets, don't you think? :lol: :lol: Kumon in my view, if done within 3 min per worksheet, can be over in the blink of an eye.

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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby jetsetter » Sun Nov 17, 2013 11:10 pm

pirate wrote:
sembgal wrote:One more story to add. 2 preschoolers that I heard of who were pushed to achieve academic excellence by attending tuition and doing loads of assessments, had to see psychologist at 6 years old! This is real. Parents in denial at first but as problems escalated, parents brought the children to see psychologist. Heard situation have improved after seeking professional psychology advice. One time visit to see psychologist is $200.

So the moral of the story is parents should push their children to become psychologists? :evil:



:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby jetsetter » Sun Nov 17, 2013 11:30 pm

sembgal wrote:One more story to add. 2 preschoolers that I heard of who were pushed to achieve academic excellence by attending tuition and doing loads of assessments, had to see psychologist at 6 years old! This is real. Parents in denial at first but as problems escalated, parents brought the children to see psychologist. Heard situation have improved after seeking professional psychology advice. One time visit to see psychologist is $200.



Seeing the psychologist could be for other reasons too...maybe the kancheong parents suspect kid has ADHD, ADD, learning difficulties, dyslexia, speech delay, handwriting 'disorder'...? Or maybe so kancheong they are that they want to ascertain if the kid is of GEP material, to assess kid's IQ and academic skills...?

I dunno but I feel parents these days are more educated and affluent, so every little thing they sense 'amiss', they will see the psychologist, as often as they pay to see the PD.

Like my DS has eye infection, I must see his ophthalmologist from Mt E. He has cough, I must only see the paediatrician at Thomson. He needs his annual dental check-up, I only book paediatric dentist at Camden. He has sinus, so I only book my friend an ENT doctor at Parkway...He had a hairline fracture on his foot 3 yrs ago, so we took him to my orthopaedic friend at Mt E.

Recently, I discovered a mole on my boy's face. Oops, I need to book an appt with the plastic surgeon at Paragon soon.

Be a doctor, better still. Good $$ :moneyflies: :moneyflies:

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Re: Pushing a child to achieve academic excellence

Postby ms_soh » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:50 am

I think it is good that a child is able to achieve academic excellence and subsequently, an useful person with great intelligence.
However, we must always be careful on their limits, their real interest and their actual stage of development.
We should only push the kid when they are ready to absorb, and this can be achieve through directed play when they are toddlers.

I've read on a research study that there is different development stage at different age, starting from infancy. If the areas are focused correctly, the child will be able develop fully and by that, it would be ability to achieve academic excellence whilst being a happy child. Everything will be of his interest, rather than stress and need to see psychologist. :P

There is this program by an Australian University Professor who designed it for his kids, a 7 years old is able to understand polymer, atoms, chemistry content, all because of his interest in Space and Human Body!

PM me if you want to know more.. :D

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