Do you teach your child(ren) good manners?

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Do you teach your child(ren) good manners?

Postby kiasimom » Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:34 pm

Hi.

I have noticed that many parents in Singapore do not teach their children to say the basic" Thank you".

Quote a scenario.

Was at a shopping mall and my son was holding the lift door open to allow other shoppers to enter, and guess what??!! None of them say thank you to him!

I feel that many people has taken this kind of considerate act for granted.

No offences here but do you teach your child to say "thank you" when someone holds the lift door for you?

I always remind my children that they must always say thank you.

Another scenario at the MRT platform.

Many commuters just rushed into the train without first allowing the commuters in the train to alight first.

I have experienced before when I wanted to alight and in the end I missed my stop as the commuters from the platform just rushed in hurriedly and pushed me backwards.

How nice it will be if everyone will be considerate and allow commuters to alight first.

kiasimom
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Postby schweppes » Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:31 pm

Hi
Definitely! I believe in teaching good manners and basic courtesy to my kids. Too often, we live in a society that forgets its Ps and Qs. :P

To teach our children to be more considerate, we can get the kids to clean up after themselves at the food centre or fast food outlet - like disposing our rubbish in the bins or putting back the trays at the tray collection area. At the food court or restaurant, we get the kids to say "Thank You" or "xie xie" when the cleaning lady/guy comes and wipes the table. It's about showing our appreciation. My kids have been taught that since they were toddlers (pre-school age) and now that they are older (they are tweens now), it comes naturally to them.

When we take the taxis, they will also say "thank you/xie xie/ even tarima kasih uncle/aunty" to the cab driver at the end of the trip (the language used depends on the race of the driver. We haven't figured out how to say "thanks" in Tamil yet. :wink: ) Again, this is to show our appreciation.

I think it is important to talk to our kids about good manners and common courtesy. As the saying goes, "courtesy begets courtesy". It doesn't cost us a thing to be nicer to others - makes the world a better place to live in too! :D

Our kids model our actions too . So when we, as adults, mind our Ps and Qs, and watch our behaviour, our children will hopefully pick up good habits and be a better person too. :D

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Postby kiasimom » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:34 pm

schweppes wrote:Hi
Definitely! I believe in teaching good manners and basic courtesy to my kids. Too often, we live in a society that forgets its Ps and Qs. :P

To teach our children to be more considerate, we can get the kids to clean up after themselves at the food centre or fast food outlet - like disposing our rubbish in the bins or putting back the trays at the tray collection area. At the food court or restaurant, we get the kids to say "Thank You" or "xie xie" when the cleaning lady/guy comes and wipes the table. It's about showing our appreciation. My kids have been taught that since they were toddlers (pre-school age) and now that they are older (they are tweens now), it comes naturally to them.

When we take the taxis, they will also say "thank you/xie xie/ even tarima kasih uncle/aunty" to the cab driver at the end of the trip (the language used depends on the race of the driver. We haven't figured out how to say "thanks" in Tamil yet. :wink: ) Again, this is to show our appreciation.

I think it is important to talk to our kids about good manners and common courtesy. As the saying goes, "courtesy begets courtesy". It doesn't cost us a thing to be nicer to others - makes the world a better place to live in too! :D

Our kids model our actions too . So when we, as adults, mind our Ps and Qs, and watch our behaviour, our children will hopefully pick up good habits and be a better person too. :D


Hi schweppes,

Great to know someone share the same thoughts as me.

If only there are more like you out there...

kiasimom
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Re: Do you teach your child(ren) good manners?

Postby radiantmum » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:38 pm

kiasimom wrote:Was at a shopping mall and my son was holding the lift door open to allow other shoppers to enter, and guess what??!! None of them say thank you to him!


Yes I am always boiling :x when that happens.

Having good manners are fundamental values that I strongly advocate and believe that as a reflection of kids' upbringing. I become more conscious than ever when I become a parent myself. As parents we need to demonstrate, walk the talk, praise and reinforce the good behaviours. Most importantly, educating your kids that when adults don't have good behaviours, it does not mean such behaviours are right. Also, it's okay NOT to receive thank you everytime you did a good deed (my excuse for the rude people ;-p)

My kid always beam with pride whenever I praise him a gentleman :lol:

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Re: Do you teach your child(ren) good manners?

Postby kiasimom » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:02 pm

radiantmum wrote:
kiasimom wrote:Was at a shopping mall and my son was holding the lift door open to allow other shoppers to enter, and guess what??!! None of them say thank you to him!


Yes I am always boiling :x when that happens.

Having good manners are fundamental values that I strongly advocate and believe that as a reflection of kids' upbringing. I become more conscious than ever when I become a parent myself. As parents we need to demonstrate, walk the talk, praise and reinforce the good behaviours. Most importantly, educating your kids that when adults don't have good behaviours, it does not mean such behaviours are right. Also, it's okay NOT to receive thank you everytime you did a good deed (my excuse for the rude people ;-p)

My kid always beam with pride whenever I praise him a gentleman :lol:


You couldn't be more right.
What is good academic results if the person doesn't even have the basic courtesy?
As parents, we should set good role models to our children and I certainly hope this message is delivered across to more parents :-)

kiasimom
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Postby schweppes » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:19 pm

kiasimom wrote:Hi schweppes,

Great to know someone share the same thoughts as me.

If only there are more like you out there...



haha..
Thanks kiasimom. I'm trying my best to be a better parent, lah! :wink:

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Postby kiasimom » Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:34 am

schweppes wrote:haha..
Thanks kiasimom. I'm trying my best to be a better parent, lah! :wink:


Yes, I am learning to be a better parent too!

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Postby smurf » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:54 am

totally agreed. once, we went to Medi-ya, DS1 dropped a package of sushi and asked the cashier, 'aunty, can you PLEASE throw this in the dustbin (thinking the bin is just beside the cashier lah)?

whow, the cashier just ignored him and only responded after about 10-15 sec, with a not-so-courteous manner, ' the bin is at the back (pointing behind us)."

does she really need to be so hostile towards a 5 year old boy? :P

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Postby kiasimom » Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:04 pm

smurf wrote:totally agreed. once, we went to Medi-ya, DS1 dropped a package of sushi and asked the cashier, 'aunty, can you PLEASE throw this in the dustbin (thinking the bin is just beside the cashier lah)?

whow, the cashier just ignored him and only responded after about 10-15 sec, with a not-so-courteous manner, ' the bin is at the back (pointing behind us)."

does she really need to be so hostile towards a 5 year old boy? :P


Wow, that is really unkind. I think kids must be confused as in " My mummy teaches me to be courteous but why do adults themselves are not courteous?"

If I am around, I will surely tell her off.

kiasimom
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Postby sashimi » Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:14 pm

I guess one way is to show by example. Jaded as I am, I persistently continue to hold doors open for people, lift doors, whatever doors. (I am especially pissed by idiots who stand in the lift and don't even bother to hold the Door Open button for others).

One thing I have noticed is that DD knows how to show appreciation when others show appreciation. If someone thanks us, she will whisper to me, "Daddy, that auntie is very kind right? She said thanks." It seems DD watches other people very closely, seeing how they respond to kindness.

So, conversely, she will get very miffed when someone, eg. bumps into her and does not apologize. I will receive a very quiet and terse complaint from her.

Even though her own capacity to thank and apologize remains inconsistent, I think the way she watches (dis)courtesy in action will slowly train her. It's a matter of awareness - as is parental example.

sashimi
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