My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

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My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby hwtan » Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:16 pm

Hi everyone

My wife and I have been struggling with our girl for some time.

She is in Primary 2 this year and we can see she is struggling with English, Maths and Chinese.

We have tried:
- Sending her to PSLE maths tuition classes (the teacher there says she is de-motivated because some other children in the class say, "har this type of sum you also cannot do"
- Sending her to Berries to beef up her Chinese once a week
- Giving he a one-on-one tutor in English once a week

This, on top of my wife's nightly coaching to her to go through homework and school spelling, tests, etc.

This week, before her Primary 2 final exam (which is next week), she came home with a 27/50 score for Maths and a similar low score for other subjects.

She tells us she wants to try to do well like her other friends, but is very demoralized she cannot.

My girl has an older brother, he's doing ok, average in school. She has a younger brother who is learning quite ok too.

It is not like she is totally 'off' in school - she says she wants to learn, interacts ok with friends, but is very 'borderline or just going to fail' kind of grade in her schoolwork.

We are at our wits' end and I sense we are going to break down soon from this pressure.

My questions:

1. Anyone has any suggestions on tutors / programs that can help my girl? I suspect tutoring more and more won't help as I think her confidence level is very low. Should we send her for some behavioural assessment or learning ability test, etc.?

2. We have heard of "Thinkers Box" which does a cognitive assessment, then has a 10 month program to help improve concentration / comprehension, etc. Does any know if this program is any good and whether it is recommended for someone like my daughter?

3. I am also worried about learning problems, e.g. inability to comprehend, analyze and think through problems. In general, my girl is very baby-ish, playing with Mickey Mouse, watching Barbie programs, playing make believe, e.g. and a little slow to catch on to things like jokes, logic and "real world" topics. Does anyone have similar experience here and can share some advice?

4. Also, to make things worse, my girl just clams up when she encounters a difficult e.g. Maths question and when you ask her "do you understand" after explaining a concept, she just keeps quiet. If she does understand she will say "yes" only after quite a long time. It is very difficult / frustrating for us to get through to her. She is also selective, doesn't like to listen to strangers, etc.

5. She is also very afraid to try out new things, indicating her confidence is very low. When we ask her, do you want to try this play activity, e.g. she will say "no, I don't want', etc.

Thanks in advance for any help anyone can render.

As I mentioned, as parents, we are at our wits' end and are going to break down soon from this pressure ...

hwtan
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby jjxy mum » Sat Oct 26, 2013 9:48 pm

Hi,
Some children are slightly slower in learning than others, they tend to take longer time to digest a concept or a set of rules.
Have u ever spoke to her school teacher? Does she has some close friends in school? How did she perform in primary 1?
Look like she isn't coping well with her peers, is she in a 'banded' class?

jjxy mum
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby clay569 » Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:55 pm

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are going through.

My thoughts are:
1) try to speak with the form teacher and subject teachers and seek help from the school allied educator. A bit tricky at this time as there's no more lessons which the allied educator could sit in and observe. Nevertheless, he/she should be able to advise further.
2) what is her learning style? Perhaps she can understand better with a different approach?
3) I'm not sure to what extent an allied educator can help. If it doesn't look promising, a visit to a child psychologist may find some answers.

All the best..

clay569
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby Pen88n » Sun Oct 27, 2013 12:32 am

As suggested, I think you need to talk to her teacher to understand her behaviour and learning in school. You may also want to consider sending her for assessment to diagnose if she has any learning disabilities (it can be visual / auditory processing deficiency, etc.) to identify her learning needs. I am not saying she is having these, but to diagnose and early intervention will help kids with such learning needs. It can be also caused by some other issues like vision issues - I have heard of a case of a boy having eye teaming problem so he has difficulty reading. It was only with the right lenses that he managed to correct his vision so his learning improve.

On the part of tuition, it is not always the solution to better performance in kids. Need to assess the kid's needs before deciding. Generally, in cases of such gaps in foundation (P1 / 2 are actually building foundation), it is preferable for 1-to-1 tuition which can focus on the kid's gaps and address them accordingly. Group tuition will not be able to cater to such needs. But as mentioned above, you should check out with school and assessment before embarking on further tuition for your girl.

Hope it works out fine for you and your girl!

Pen88n
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby SAHM_TAN » Sun Oct 27, 2013 11:32 pm

Hi hwtan,

How was the last parent-teacher meeting with your daughter's tr? This is now term 4, I imagine there was at least one PTM ?

P2 is build upon P1's work. How was her P1's results?

If you are worried, you can send her for physical and learning assessment to cover your bases. For my ds, his ear will build up quite a lot of wax and I think this affected his learning till we found out and "cleared" his hearing. After that he caught up quite quickly in kindy. Now I regularly check his ears for excessive wax. There might have been other factors but once we cleared his hearing, his speech, reading caught up and the rest also fell into place. When I had some doubts abt dd1's learning abilities, I arranged for an assessment and once that was out of the way and I knew she didn't have any learning issues, I planned on the best way to help her according to her starting point.

If you think her confidence and self-esteem is affected, you will need to help her build that or else she will not have the confidence to learn. You may want to read this book, Internal Drive Theory: Motivate your child to want to study by Dr Petunia Lee. It's available in the library and it's based on local context.

I do not compare dd1's results with classmates. I do not bother with class average. I base on my dd1's starting point and work with her, focusing on her. I tell her I don't care about her classmates' results. I understand the school syllabus and I set the std that she should reach for her ability.

Is your daughter's school setting very difficult papers? I have come across rather difficult P2 qns. You can compare the school worksheets and the test papers to gauge if the school is setting too many qns above the level of what is taught in the classroom. In P2, compo writing and oral can pull down the marks, both need practise and practise.

I think it's ok at her age to like the shows that you have listed. Does she have chores and help look after the younger bro?

I have 3 kids. I don't bother abt the birth order. I will allocate chores when they reach the appropriate age.

Academics results do not define your daughter. Relationship before results.

cheers

SAHM_TAN
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby lovinglife » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:11 pm

SAHM_TAN wrote:Hi hwtan,

How was the last parent-teacher meeting with your daughter's tr? This is now term 4, I imagine there was at least one PTM ?

P2 is build upon P1's work. How was her P1's results?

If you are worried, you can send her for physical and learning assessment to cover your bases. For my ds, his ear will build up quite a lot of wax and I think this affected his learning till we found out and "cleared" his hearing. After that he caught up quite quickly in kindy. Now I regularly check his ears for excessive wax. There might have been other factors but once we cleared his hearing, his speech, reading caught up and the rest also fell into place. When I had some doubts abt dd1's learning abilities, I arranged for an assessment and once that was out of the way and I knew she didn't have any learning issues, I planned on the best way to help her according to her starting point.

If you think her confidence and self-esteem is affected, you will need to help her build that or else she will not have the confidence to learn. You may want to read this book, Internal Drive Theory: Motivate your child to want to study by Dr Petunia Lee. It's available in the library and it's based on local context.

I do not compare dd1's results with classmates. I do not bother with class average. I base on my dd1's starting point and work with her, focusing on her. I tell her I don't care about her classmates' results. I understand the school syllabus and I set the std that she should reach for her ability.

Is your daughter's school setting very difficult papers? I have come across rather difficult P2 qns. You can compare the school worksheets and the test papers to gauge if the school is setting too many qns above the level of what is taught in the classroom. In P2, compo writing and oral can pull down the marks, both need practise and practise.

I think it's ok at her age to like the shows that you have listed. Does she have chores and help look after the younger bro?

I have 3 kids. I don't bother abt the birth order. I will allocate chores when they reach the appropriate age.

Academics results do not define your daughter. Relationship before results.

cheers


I like the above sharing. :love:

lovinglife
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby jjxy mum » Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:07 pm

lovinglife wrote:
SAHM_TAN wrote:Hi hwtan,

How was the last parent-teacher meeting with your daughter's tr? This is now term 4, I imagine there was at least one PTM ?

P2 is build upon P1's work. How was her P1's results?

If you are worried, you can send her for physical and learning assessment to cover your bases. For my ds, his ear will build up quite a lot of wax and I think this affected his learning till we found out and "cleared" his hearing. After that he caught up quite quickly in kindy. Now I regularly check his ears for excessive wax. There might have been other factors but once we cleared his hearing, his speech, reading caught up and the rest also fell into place. When I had some doubts abt dd1's learning abilities, I arranged for an assessment and once that was out of the way and I knew she didn't have any learning issues, I planned on the best way to help her according to her starting point.

If you think her confidence and self-esteem is affected, you will need to help her build that or else she will not have the confidence to learn. You may want to read this book, Internal Drive Theory: Motivate your child to want to study by Dr Petunia Lee. It's available in the library and it's based on local context.

I do not compare dd1's results with classmates. I do not bother with class average. I base on my dd1's starting point and work with her, focusing on her. I tell her I don't care about her classmates' results. I understand the school syllabus and I set the std that she should reach for her ability.

Is your daughter's school setting very difficult papers? I have come across rather difficult P2 qns. You can compare the school worksheets and the test papers to gauge if the school is setting too many qns above the level of what is taught in the classroom. In P2, compo writing and oral can pull down the marks, both need practise and practise.

I think it's ok at her age to like the shows that you have listed. Does she have chores and help look after the younger bro?

I have 3 kids. I don't bother abt the birth order. I will allocate chores when they reach the appropriate age.

Academics results do not define your daughter. Relationship before results.

cheers


I like the above sharing. :love:


SAHM tan,

Your sharing touches my heart.... :)

jjxy mum
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby SAHM_TAN » Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:32 pm

lovinglife and jjxy mum,

I'm still a work in progress.

SAHM_TAN
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby hwtan » Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:23 pm

Hi all

Thanks so much for the responses. I really appreciate it - think we're going to send my DD for a proper diagnostic to assess the best ways she can learn, then take it from there.

Anyone's child attended Thinker's Box? Is it any good?

hwtan
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Re: My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...

Postby SAHM_TAN » Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:31 pm

hwtan wrote:Hi all

Thanks so much for the responses. I really appreciate it - think we're going to send my DD for a proper diagnostic to assess the best ways she can learn, then take it from there.

Anyone's child attended Thinker's Box? Is it any good?


Do you intend to send your child to Thinker's Box for cognitive assessment ?

SAHM_TAN
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